You Might Not Officially Be My Boyfriend, But That Doesn’t Mean You Can Date Other Girls

There are no exact rules for dating. Every relationship is different, but I take my love life very seriously. Maybe I’m a little old-fashioned, but I prefer to date one guy at a time and for the guy I’m dating to do the same. Maybe you’re not officially my boyfriend, but that doesn’t mean you should be seeing other people.

  1. Just because we’re not official doesn’t mean we’re nothing. If we’re dating or even just “hanging out” then we’re obviously something. You don’t have to be labeled as my boyfriend for us to be more than just friends. There’s something here, at least there is for me, so if you don’t feel the same, then don’t date other girls behind my back — just tell me.
  2. If you’re into me, I should be a priority. Especially at this early stage, if I’m not worthy of all your focus, I don’t think we’re meant to be. Your attention shouldn’t be so divided this early on. You can’t date me if you want to date other girls — that’s just how it goes.
  3. Cheating isn’t black and white. Just like everything else in this world, there’s no straight line for right and wrong. The world is full of overlap, and this is just one of those gray areas that I’m choosing to define in my life. Just because you’re not my boyfriend doesn’t mean seeing another girl isn’t cheating. If there are feelings there, it hurts all the same.
  4. If you’re wondering if what you’re doing is wrong, it probably is. That’s your conscience kicking in. You’re wondering if it’s wrong because part of you feels wrong. So why aren’t you trusting your gut? You need to care about me more than you care about the temptation, that’s the key.
  5. If I’m not seeing other people, why are you? Am I not giving you enough here? Because if there are problems already, then we’re just headed into an unhealthy relationship. If it hurts me, it should hurt you too. Why would you want to cause me pain? We need to both be on the same page, otherwise, we’ll always be lost in translation.
  6. Are you invested in this relationship? We might not be official, but I thought that’s where we were headed. I’m not interested in anything casual and you know that. While we’re taking the time to figure out if we want to commit to each other, why can’t you just focus on me? Not me and three other girls. I want to figure out if this is real, and in order to do that, it needs to just be you and me.
  7. I don’t sleep with guys who sleep around. I have to protect my heart and my body. Sex isn’t casual to me, so if it means nothing to you then we’re going to have a problem. I don’t want my heart to break even harder because I found out that right after you slept with me you jumped into bed with someone else. I’m not into love triangles and I’m not into drama, so don’t pull that BS on me.
  8. What is she to you? Maybe we aren’t officially together, but I thought we were something. Obviously, you have something with her too, so what is it? She’s not your girlfriend yet, but you’re not just friends either, so what are you? Are you trying to choose between the two of us? If so, I won’t be sticking around for the verdict.
  9. Does she know about me? If you’re dating someone else, is she aware of the fact that you’re dating me too? She might be cool with it, but that doesn’t mean I have to be. I won’t judge you for the way you date, I just don’t want to be a part of it. I have my own standards and when it comes to dating, I take it one man at a time.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.