My Love Life Has Always Been Awful But I Still Believe In Love

When I look back on my dating life, I can’t believe I’ve survived as many broken hearts as I have, nor did I ever imagine my life would end up this way. I was supposed to be married with kids by now. I was supposed to be planning my wedding and buying a home with the love of my life but instead, I’m single AF with way too many bad dating stories. I’ve been cheated by love, ghosted by love, and blinded by love to the point that I almost lost myself completely. Somehow I found my way back to who I truly am and even though I have a crappy dating history, I still believe in love.

I believe in my journey. My dating adventures haven’t been easy, by any means. I’ve cried myself to sleep and I’ve told more guys to GTFO than I can count. Even though crap hasn’t worked out for me so far, I still believe he’s out there and that my true love story can begin at any moment. Even through the darkest hours of losing faith, I hold on to hope because I see so many others like me being whisked out of the madness and into their forever story. One day, that’ll be me. I trust the process.

It really can happen out of nowhere. I’ve seen people who’ve been single for years suddenly meet someone amazing and their lives take off together as if those years of loneliness before never existed. It’s crazy to believe it, but that sort of thing can happen at any given moment, when you least expect it — and I’m ready for it to happen to me.

I was meant to experience these challenges. Deep down, I truly believe that all the BS I’ve experienced and all the terrible men who have made their way in and out of my life have been put there for a reason. They were meant to teach me lessons, and they were meant to shape me into someone who truly knows what I want (and don’t want). Those losers served their purpose in my story, even if they were debilitating to experience at the time.

I was meant to become as strong as I am. If I hadn’t been through the awful relationships I’ve had, I wouldn’t be a fragment of the woman I am today. I’m strong as hell now because I’ve experienced a ton of crap that I didn’t deserve — and that’s going to make me all the more amazing for the right man when we finally meet.

Love is about learning. If I’d met the love of my life in second grade, that would’ve been great, but it didn’t happen that way. The lessons I’ve learned from having a less than desirable relationship track record are extremely valuable to me, and I wouldn’t have learned them if stuff just worked out easily with no real suffering. I needed to go through the pain to redefine my definition of love, and it’s nothing like I believed it was when I was younger. I don’t want good enough love, or comfortable love. I want stomach flipping, passionate, soul changing love now — and I don’t care how long it takes to find it.

I’m way smarter from being hurt repeatedly. I’m much wiser to BS behaviors and I’m actually grateful that I’ve experienced as many losers as I have because my radar is on point now to avoid them completely going forward. I won’t be wasting more time on morons and I can allow myself to be open for the right type of guy for me.

I have plenty of time left. I might not be where I expected to be when it comes to love right now, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen. I’m still young and I know I’m still capable of loving someone even though I’ve been put through the ringer. My faith in love is stronger than my fear of ending up alone.

The best stories take time to be written. What kind of story would it be if things just went swimmingly and I had my love story wrapped up in a bow served to me on a silver platter without experiencing the worst first? I might complain that I hate the stuff I’ve been through, but in hindsight, I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

I know I’m worth loving. No matter how many times I’ve been messed over and no matter how many men have tried to make me feel like I’m not worth loving, I know that I am. I’m a strong and capable woman with a kind heart and a lot to offer. Even if I haven’t found the love of my life and have only experienced the worst so far, I still believe he’s out there and he will show me exactly why everything before him didn’t work out.

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