A narcissist is someone who lacks empathy, someone who’s arrogant, entitled, and basically is all about themselves. It’s sometimes hard to know if the guy you’ve started dating fits this description, so it’s important to be on the lookout for the red flags so you can get out ASAP if they happen to pop up. Protect your heart!
- Your connection felt magical in the beginning. Cue violins playing in your head, fireworks, and rose-lined paths. It’s like the grandest romance you’ve ever dreamed of only better. Is it too good to be true? Probably, but you won’t know it right away. Narcissists are pros at love-bombing you.
- He wants to see you all the time. Yeah, it’s totally normal to want to see the person you’re nuts about all the time, but this is another red flag that you’re dating a narcissist that could easily get swept under the rug. If it feels like he’s already falling for you fast, then that’s a sign you need to press pause. You can’t love someone you barely know.
- He’s addicted to the chase. He was so attentive, loving, kind, and mad about you… until you agreed to be his girlfriend. Then suddenly, he changed. Perhaps he’s not that attentive anymore or you just feel like something’s off. What happened to that guy who was desperate to be with you?
- He’s becoming inconsistent. He used to call and text when he promised he would, but now it’s like he can disappear from your life for hours or days at a time. Needless to say, it makes you feel crazy. That’s exactly what a narcissist wants because it means that you need them and they’re in the power seat.
- He never shows empathy. This is one of the worst traits of a narcissist, and also the telltale sign that you’re dating one. A narcissist will roll his eyes or look disinterested when you tell him about the horrible day you had and he’ll tell you to grow up when you’re in tears about hurting your arm. You don’t get the support you need, ever. It’s like he just can’t (or won’t) relate or sympathize.
- He’s chipping away at your self-worth. Narcissists usually start out super-loving and praising you, only to devalue you once they get their claws in you. If you feel down a lot, stressed out, or insecure, then it could be that he’s chipping away at your self-esteem so much that it makes you feel bad.
- He’s always putting others down. He might even be doing this to you. But why? Narcissists are insecure so they always try to put down other people they view as smarter/more confident/popular. This helps them to make themselves feel better and give themselves a bit of an ego stroke. You might see your narcissist do this by belittling his loved ones or co-workers. He might even intimidate others for no apparent reason.
- He’s prone to temper tantrums. The thing about narcissists is that they absolutely hate not getting their way. Their life motto is “me, me, me.” So, if you cancel on a date or can’t phone them back, they act like it’s the biggest diss in the world. They might even give you the silent treatment, almost like a form of punishment.
- He can’t fight like an adult. You know that unhealthy fighting can be toxic to a relationship, but fighting with a narcissist is a whole other story. He can’t seem to handle any little disagreement because he’ll turn it into a huge fight. His way/opinion is always the best one, leaving no room for anyone else. Yikes.
- He tries to confuse you. You’re angry at something he did, like call you a nasty name during a fight, so you confront him. The narcissist will always manipulate the situation so that you have the problem, or perhaps he’ll resort to making you doubt yourself. He might claim that you’re remembering the argument incorrectly or you misheard something he said.
- He’s only looking for someone to praise him. If you think you can make it work with a narcissist, be warned that he’ll only keep you around to praise him. He needs to be surrounded by people who love him. He’s not going to give you what you need in a relationship. That’s how toxic it’s going to be. One word: run!
