11 Signs He Expects You To Do All The Work In The Relationship

It’s great to take charge and make a move on the guy you’re interested in, but once you’re together, you really shouldn’t be doing all the work in the relationship. If these 11 things are happening, your partner is happy to stay lazy and let you carry the load.

  1. He’s a “whatever you want” guy. Is your guy totally indifferent to everything? When you want to go watch the new Stephen King movie or plan a vacation, it feels like he’s not enthusiastic at all and just going through the motions. Sure, he’ll do it, but not unless all the details are sorted out before he’s involved.
  2. You make contact first every time. You’re always the one who reaches out before he does, whether that’s to text or call him. After a while, that can feel like he’s really not even interested in keeping your communication going.
  3. Things “slip his mind.” He said he’d pick up some food on the way to your house so you can have a romantic night in, but then he “forgot” because he was so busy. The result is that you have to be the one to do stuff if you want it done. Are you dating an adult or a man-child?
  4. You have to follow up. Dealing with a guy who doesn’t pull his weight can make you feel insecure. You might feel like you have to be the one to check in to find out if you’re still on for going on a date Thursday night, for instance, because he’s not going to make the effort to confirm plans. Ever. Ugh.
  5. You’re the date-maker. Speaking of dates, you’re the one who’s always planning dates and what you can do together that’s fun and different. He’s quite happy to go along with you but he’ll never suggest or initiate things. How freaking convenient.
  6. He neglects your needs. While you always prioritize his needs, he does the opposite with you. You have to speak up about your needs, and even when you do he doesn’t really care about them. Take sex, for example. You might express what you’d like to have more of between the sheets, but then find that he makes his own pleasure a priority the next time you’re naked.
  7. He doesn’t listen to you. You’re always paying him attention, but when you speak, he zones out. What’s up with that? Although it can happen once in a while that a person doesn’t listen as well as they should, if it’s a regular occurrence, it’s bound to make you feel like he’s taking you for granted and not making any effort to communicate. Be careful when dealing with a bad listener – he’s not just rude or selfish, he’s lazy AF.
  8. He doesn’t help out with chores. If you’re living together, you should both be contributing to the household. If you’re the one who cooks and washes dishes while he does his own thing, that’s not fair. Over time, it’s sure to make you feel resentment towards him. Heck, even if he’s always super-thankful for what you do, it’s not enough for him to let you do everything. Whatever happened to teamwork?
  9. You feel needier than usual. On the other hand, not having your needs met by a lazy partner can have the opposite effect: it might make you want more from him than he’s giving you. While this might make you feel like you’re needy and nagging him, it’s a direct consequence of dealing with someone who’s not meeting you halfway.
  10. He looks put out when you ask him for help. When you need him to help you with something, he might look like you’ve asked him to climb Mount Everest. Ugh. No wonder you feel like you don’t even want to ask him for anything and rather do things yourself.
  11. He makes you feel guilty. With you trying to be heard and have your needs met, it’s only a matter of time before you feel that your partner is guilting you for wanting things from him. But listen, you’re not nuts for wanting to be with someone who cares about you, who wants to make you happy, and who can be a stand-up partner. In fact, wanting those things is totally normal and they should come standard.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.