When it comes to finding the one, women don’t want to waste their time, and they especially don’t want to settle. In fact, many women have a list of necessary criteria a man should have if he’s to win her over and have casual dating head to relationship world. Having a list is of what you’re really looking for isn’t a bad idea, nor does it make you superficial. It just means you have standards.

Since we’re all running around with a list of our own, even if we don’t have it written out, here are those things that women are honestly looking for in a man.

Financial independence. While it might seem fun to run off to Paris for a weekend on his daddy’s money, at some point it gets old. Women want a man who can financially take care of himself, pay his bills on time, and don’t need to be bailed out by his parents every time he screws up and maxes out a credit card.

Intelligence. Well, obviously, women want someone who has some brains. Sure, maybe not every woman is looking for a rocket scientist, but an IQ above 100 is at least the bare minimum.

Street smarts. Street smarts doesn’t necessarily mean someone wielding a knife, but rather someone who can talk their way out of sticky situations. You want someone whom you know you can feel safe if you find yourself in the sketchy part of the city on Saturday at 4am.

A social life. As much as any woman loves to be with her man, she also loves to be away from him, too. Getting into a relationship with someone who doesn’t have a social life is literally a death sentence for the relationship. People, women, especially, need space.

Honesty. Because you can’t hold anything together if the person you’re supposed to trust most in the world is lying to you. Besides lying is just a downward spiral once they tell one, they have to tell another, then your whole life with them is just a damn lie.

A shared sense of humor. Everyone has their own sense of humor. What one person might think is vulgar and toilet humor, another might find genius. Because this is the case, women want someone who shares they’re equally wonky, screwed up sense of humor. If she doesn’t have a sense of humor, then it’s likely she wants a man who doesn’t either.

Sex appeal. What women find sexy runs the gamut. I look at some of my friends’ boyfriends and wonder “WTF?” and I’m sure some of my friends do the same thing when they look at my partner. What people find sexy is different, but no matter how different, women want to be sexually attracted to the man in their life. If they’re not, then what’s the point?

Respectfulness. Although respect, in general, is something every woman wants from a man, she also wants that respect to extend past her. She wants him to respect her friends and family, her occasional need for privacy, her space, and whatever boundaries she has set. Yes, some relationships have boundaries and they should be respected.

A healthy mind. In a world where it feels like 80 percent of us suffer from depression, something for which none of us should be faulted, you want to be with some who takes care of their mental health. No matter their demons, a woman wants to be with someone she knows is taking care of them either with therapy, meds, or both. No one with mental illness should be judged, but it is their responsibility to keep themselves in check for not just their own sanity but for those around them whom they love, too.

Affection. Affection comes in different shapes in sizes. Some people enjoy being smothered while others do not. But affection, in all its forms, is essential, and something every woman wants. She wants to know she’s loved.

A good relationship with his family. This isn’t to say that he needs to call his mom everyday, but what it does mean is that women want a man who’s at least on good terms with his family. No one wants to be in a relationship with someone who is constantly at the war with the people who raised them. That’s just a drama no one wants.

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