It’s every woman’s worst nightmare to discover that her boyfriend is actually in love with another woman. However, if it this going to happen to you, you can save yourself (a bit of) the heartache by noticing the red flags that it’s happening without waiting for him to admit it. Here are 12 signs to keep an eye out for so you don’t get screwed by him.
- He’s being strangely emotional. He never used to get all soppy, but lately it’s like he’s always close to tears when he tells you how much you mean to him. While that’s good, if it leaves a weird feeling in your gut then it could be a red flag. He could be feeling guilty for what he’s doing.
- He showers you with compliments. But all that praise he gives you doesn’t feel good. He might tell you how you deserve someone so much better than him, for example. Is he trying to push you away? He could be telling you these things because he’s slowly pulling himself out of the relationship.
- He fears you’ll hurt him. Ah, the classic projection! He’s the one hurting you by having feelings for someone else and probably acting on them, but he’s trying to make you out to be the bad guy. He might say, “Please don’t ever hurt me” or more aggressively, he might ask if you’re cheating on him.
- His home is looking different. You walk into his house and notice a new mirror that never used to be in the bedroom or some extra wardrobe space that he’s cleared out. Could it be that he’s updating his living space because someone else is spending so much time with him?
- He’s always on about her. The other woman might be a co-worker or friend, whatever. If she’s always coming up in trivial conversation, that’s a sign he’s always thinking about her. He might not have actually made a move on her, but she’s occupying a hell of a lot of his mental space.
- He’s running short on money. He used to be able to splurge on cool dates and other fun activities, but now he’s always moaning about how he doesn’t have enough money. If this is combined with his sudden busy schedule at work, then maybe his money’s going to fund dates with someone else.
- He’s taken up running. The guy never cared about running, but suddenly he’s waking up at five in the morning to hit the park so he can get his endorphins on? Hmm. When you ask him about it, he says he just wants to get fit, but you know it’s out of character for him.
- He gets a silly smile. You’re talking to him about something but he seems miles away and he’s got that silly smile on his lips. Same for when he receives a notification on his phone and answers the message that’s just come through. What – or who – is making him look like an idiot?
- He’s revved up about his life. The guy seems to be walking on clouds. He’s amped about his life, humming songs to himself, or just a fountain of optimism. Yeah, yeah, it’s great, but not if he’s behaving the way he did when he fell in love with you. If you’re not part of whatever’s making him get a stupid spring in his step, then that’s a worry.
- He’s quick to become defensive. When you ask him why he’s being so distant, he quickly gets annoyed with you. Or perhaps he’s defensive when there’s no reason for him to be. A guy who’s moody and irritable with you could be showing you that he’s not keen to be around you or his lies about the other woman are getting to him. He’s trying to push you away or he just doesn’t care about your feelings.
- He ditches you for someone else. You were having a chat with him on the phone when he said he had to go. The next thing you knew, he was online on social media, possibly chatting to someone else. He runs out of dates with you stating that he’s got a work meeting, but you know in your gut he’s lying. He never seems to give you enough time these days because he’s always got someone else to see.
- He’s got memory loss. He was supposed to pick you up for a date and when you phoned to see where he was he said that he totally forgot about it. Same goes for your anniversary – it totally slipped his mind. WTF? He’s spending so much time and energy on someone else that he’s not making you a priority anymore.
