One of the most grueling things about the modern dating world is the process of courtship turned relationship. In the 1950s, it was pretty simple. It was like, “Hey, want to get a milkshake? Will you wear my letter jacket?” and then BAM — relationship. Now there’s this grey area before you have “the talk” called a situationship and it’s a land that essentially, no one has figured the hell out yet. It’s the stage of dating that’s more than just dating and almost a relationship, but not quite. The worst part is that many couples get stuck here and end up crashing before it ever turns into anything. Sound familiar? Chances are if you have dated in modern times, you’ve been in this place a time-or-two before. If you’re not sure, here are some clues that you are in a situationship.
You aren’t even going on dates anymore. You’ve been seeing each other so long that the dinner and movie nights out have transitioned to Netflix and chill and you’ve made noticeably less effort into getting gussied up to see each other. You hang like you’ve been together for a long time, but there’s still a massive elephant in the room.
You have no title. When someone asks you what you are, you reply awkwardly with responses like “we’re still just seeing each other” or “we’re taking it one day at a time and going with the flow.” The flow has not yet been interrupted to define what you actually are or intend to be.
You avoid discussing the future. Talking about your long game in life, the five and ten year plan and relationship goals are practically taboo subjects. You don’t know where you stand and you avoid discussing it at all costs.
You make future plans without thinking of them. If you actually do discuss upcoming events, trips or plans for your career and possible moves, you don’t factor them into the equation.
You have feelings, but not love. You care about the person but you haven’t broken the barrier to truly let your heart be involved fully.
You still attend events solo. Weddings, Christmas parties, birthdays- all attended alone. You don’t ever exercise your right to your plus one and it isn’t that you haven’t thought about it, it’s just that you’ve convinced yourself “you’re not there yet” even though you’re there in every other way.
You’re not dating anyone else. It’s as if you’re exclusive to someone, but you’re not really. Your relationship needs are being met by one person, so you’re not dating anyone else even though there’s nothing holding you back from doing so.
You have sleepovers routinely. You don’t just leave after sex; you actually spend the night and probably even have coffee and breakfast together in the morning. You might even have a toothbrush at their place.
Texting is your primary form of contact. And it’s pretty casual. There’s no routine “good morning, babe” wake-up, but rather just small talk until you make your next plan for Netflix and chill.
You haven’t met their friends. Your close knit friends know that you’re seeing someone, and have been for a while, but have never actually met them.
You have no pictures together. You haven’t taken any pictures together or haven’t posted anything to social media alluding to any sort of idea that you’re in a pseudo relationship.
You’re both playing chicken. You’re basically in a Mexican standoff and each of you is avoiding bringing up the actual status of your relationship likely because you’re both scared of what might happen. Either you both will agree to move forward to the next phase, or one of you will back out. We hate to break it to you, but this could go on and on, like the song that never ends. Eventually, one of you is going to need to break the ice and it’ll make or break whatever has been happening. Or you can just keep going as is, that’s totally cool too. At least now you now know what to call your situationship.
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