12 Things You Need To Know About Dating An Introverted Woman

If you’re an extrovert, it can be hard to understand why introverts act the way they do. So what happens if you fall in love with an introverted woman? It may be a challenge if you’re more outgoing yourself, but you’ll have a much easier time if you know these things about her:

  1. It’s highly unlikely she’ll ever make the first move. She might be observing you from across the room, but the odds of her actually approaching you are pretty slim. Instead, she’ll want you to come to her (even though it will make her nervous). So don’t just assume she’s not interested. When it comes to an introverted woman, it’s just better if you make the first move.
  2. She’ll be more interested in hanging out with you alone than in a group. Introverts are better in small settings. They prefer quality one-on-one time to hanging out with lots of people at once. That means that she’ll really cherish the time you spend with her and no one else. It doesn’t mean you need to constantly take her out or lavish her in romantic gestures. Just being with you is all she needs.
  3. She needs her alone time. No matter how much she likes (or eventually loves) you, she can’t spend every waking moment at your side. The girl needs some time by herself in order to refuel. It doesn’t mean she’s not interested; it just means she needs “me time”. For her, there really is strength in solitude.
  4. She needs an escape route. Too much socializing can be draining for introverts, which is why they need an escape route for when the people around them become too much to handle. It’s not just excuses to get out of parties — it’s taking headphones along on public transportation so she has an out from casual conversation. She’s not being rude; she’s just trying to keep her sanity.
  5. If you want to know what she’s feeling, you need to ask. It’s not very common for an introvert to voice her thoughts, feelings, and opinions without being prompted to do so. That doesn’t mean her mind is empty — she’s more likely to gather her thoughts and reflect on her surroundings quietly until you ask her to share what she’s thinking.
  6. She needs her down time. Some people might see her as lazy and boring, but if she’s an introvert, she needs time to relax if she’s going to be productive. If the girl needs to curl up with coffee, a good book, or even just a Netflix, let her.
  7. She gets nervous about meeting new people. Meeting and mingling with new people can be a cause for anxiety in an introvert’s life. That doesn’t mean you should never introduce her to your friends and family, but doing it all at once can be overwhelming for her. So take it slow, introduce her to just a few people at a time, and make sure she’s not the constant center of attention. Do whatever you can to take the pressure off, because she’ll be stressed enough as it is.
  8. She doesn’t have low self-esteem. She’s not quiet because she’s afraid that her thoughts aren’t important, and she doesn’t shy away from socializing out of a fear of rejection. She just prefers internal conversations to external ones.
  9. Spending too much time with people can actually make her physically tired. Introverts like to go out occasionally, but not all the time. If you spend the day with other people, she may want to spend the next day lounging at home. It’s not just a mental thing — for many introverts, being extra social can make them feel like they’ve taken an all-day hike through the woods, and they’ll need to rest before they can do it again.
  10. She’s not interested in popularity. Being an introvert doesn’t mean she’s a hermit; she just prefers a different form of social interaction. Instead of having loads of casual friends, she’d rather have just a few really close friends in her life. She favors small groups over large. It’s about really knowing a few people she can actually trust rather than having a long list of “friends” that she can’t really count on. To an introverted woman, real friendships are priceless.
  11. Your voice will always be heard. Introverts like to observe more than they like to interact with other people, so they make great listeners. She’ll have thoughts and opinions of her own, but she’ll be more interested in considering what you have to say than is shoving her own ideas down your throat.
  12. Just because she’s an introvert doesn’t mean she’s antisocial. Or at least, not necessarily. Antisocial people don’t really like other people or socializing in general. Introverts like to socialize, just not all the time. She’ll still want to go out with you and be around people, but she’ll need time to recharge once it’s all over.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.