13 So-Called “Romantic” Things That He Did Which Were Actually Creepy AF

Not too long ago, I was courted by a self-proclaimed romantic, and that earned points with me… until I got to know him better and realized “creepy” was a better description. Here were some of the so-called “romantic” things he did and why they had me running in the other direction.

  1. He serenaded me. We were walking out of a date and talking about our favorite songs. Next thing I knew, he was trying to sing “Miss Atomic Bomb” by The Killers, and not even in a jokey way. The keyword is “trying.” He couldn’t sing for crap and wouldn’t stop until he’d belted out the whole song, even though I looked so embarrassed at all the people who could hear us. Then, on my birthday, he left a voicemail message of himself singing and playing guitar. It was torture.
  2. He was constantly “checking in.” When I couldn’t see him for a date, he’d text me “just to see how my night is going.” Ugh. It wasn’t thoughtful to do this, it was controlling and made me switch my phone off constantly so I didn’t have to deal with him.
  3. He told me I was his whole world. Not only that, but he said I was basically the reason for his existence. WTF? Telling me that stuff wasn’t romantic. It felt really manipulative, like he wanted something huge in return. I don’t want to be with someone who’s so clingy and controlling.
  4. He physically fought another man over me. I don’t know who started the rumor that a man physically fighting another man for a woman is sexy. The truth is that it’s so embarrassing. One night the guy and I were out at a club and another guy hit on me. My boyfriend jumped in and started fighting the guy. He probably expected me to swoon, but I just wanted to GTFO of there. Security agreed that we had to leave.
  5. He negged me regularly. I don’t get how putting someone down can be seen as attractive. It makes me think of being told as a child that the boy who was throwing rocks at me on the playground had a crush on me. Ugh. This guy I dated thought that mild negging would be what showed me his interest, but it just put me off him. We’re adults, not toddlers in kindergarten. A guy who likes negging definitely isn’t ready for a relationship.
  6. He commented on my old Facebook posts. Not only did he go through all my Facebook posts from years ago, but he’d leave a trail by “liking” and commenting on them, like by saying my picture from 2009 was beautiful or that I looked really pretty in 2011. Stalker alert! This is in no way romantic, it’s creepy. Come on!
  7. He blindfolded me. Putting a blindfold on me during a romantic evening does not feel sexy. It feels like the guy’s about to kidnap me and take me to a secret location where I can scream but nobody will hear me. Talk about a mood killer. It seriously freaked me out.
  8. He insisted we have sex to musicI think music and sex don’t go together, except for a few rare exceptions. This guy thought that putting loud music on would be seen as romantic, but it just doused my flames and made me want to fake a headache.
  9. He filled the room with candles. If you’ve watched as many horror movies as I have, you’ll start to hate candles. I don’t get why lighting 20 of them in a room is seen as setting the mood — it’s going to set my bedroom on fire. Plus, it just makes me feel like we’re about to witness an exorcism or paranormal activity. This was not a good move. It’s not romantic, it’s creepy.
  10. He pulled me onto the dance floor. We were at a wedding together when he pulled me onto the dance floor. That wasn’t the problem — the problem was that he couldn’t dance and thought it was funny to look like a total jackass in front of everyone. I think somewhere out there, there’s still video evidence of his ridiculousness and me bolting from the room.
  11. He bought me lingerie that looked trashy. It’s tricky to buy lingerie for women. Men have to be careful to get the size and style perfectly right. It seems like this guy merely went online and bought the trashiest pieces he could find, and then expected me to wear them for him. Um, no. All I could do was ask for the receipt.
  12. He fed me. We were eating strawberries in chocolate and cream, and yes, that part was sexy. However, it became weird when he wanted to feed me and would do this thing of putting the fruit in biting distance, then moving it out of my reach. Playing hard to get with fruit is not fun. Appetite lost.
  13. He refused to take the hint when I wanted to end things. I blame rom-coms for the idea that a man must persevere with a woman after she’s dumped him. It’s not romantic when guys do this —- it’s really annoying. When I ended things with this guy, he bombarded me with calls and texts for weeks. Instead of melting my heart with his romantic notes about how much he missed me, his efforts made me consider getting a restraining order against him. No means no!
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.