21 Deeply Intimate Things To Do Besides Sex

So, you want to get intimate with your partner. Guess it’s time to strip down and play with each other’s naughty bits, right? Wrong! Okay, so sex is special, especially when it’s with someone you like. But believe it or not, there are other things to do that can build as strong of a connection with your partner. They bring you even closer and if you do them right, they’ll probably lead to even better sex when you do have it. Don’t be scared of deeper intimacy than just doing the horizontal (or vertical, if you’re up for a change) tango. Here are some intimate things to do with your partner that will make you feel incredible.

Spend some time cuddling.

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Skip the sex and go straight to cuddling. Put on some background noise like a movie you’ve both seen a hundred times or some music. Just wrap yourselves up in each other and listen to the gentle rhythm of his heartbeat and breathing. It’s sweet and more intimate than you might think.

Talk about what’s really important.

happy couple chatting on couch

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You say you’re fine, he grunts that his day was good too. You might share some meaningless celebrity gossip and he’ll share how proud he was of some bodily gas he excreted earlier. That’s not enough. Have a deeper conversation. You don’t have to do it every day, but talk about hopes, fears, dreams, and even about the relationship itself.

Offer to help your partner with something.

beautiful couple in nature.

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Nothing is quite as attractive as a man that’s not afraid to help with the dishes or any other chores for that matter. Helping your partner with some random task gives you the two of you extra time together and shows you care. It’s amazing how close you feel when you wash and he dries.

Play Truth or Dare.

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Add a bit of risk into the equation with some old-school Truth or Dare. I know it might sound childish, but why should couples have to be mature 24/7? Sit down in the middle of the living room floor and have fun. You’ll be laughing and opening up in no time. If you play it right, one intimate thing might just lead to another.

Try something new together.

happy couple going for a run

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Trying something new together makes both of you more vulnerable. Neither one of you know what to expect. This means you share the entire experience for the first time together. It’s simple but deeply intimate.

Focus on just making out.

Happy loving young couple kissing and hugging under colorful umbrella in autumn park on warm sunny day

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Somewhere along the way, we’ve lost sight of just making out. Keep the clothes on and enjoy the thrill of kissing without expecting anything else. Going straight to the main course is so boring. Try something more innocent and see how connected you truly feel.

Sleep together.

couple cuddling in bed looking at phone

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No, I don’t mean sex. I’m talking about literally sleeping together. Curl up with each other and drift off. Trusting each other enough to simply sleep together is incredibly intimate. It’s also strangely romantic.

Share your fantasies.

Young woman talking with her upset husband while sitting together in their bedroom at home

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I didn’t say other forms of intimacy had to exclude sex completely. How often have you wanted to role play? My guess is you were too shy to bring it up. Sit down and share your fantasies. You don’t have to do them right this second, but it takes courage to open up and say what you’d love to try one day.

Give each other a massage.

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This is, without a doubt, one of the most intimate things to do with your partner. Skip the professionals and give each other massages instead. One of the nicest things in the world to me is a guy who knows how to rub all the tension out of my neck and back. It’s perfectly fine to get naked. Just don’t have any expectations outside of a relaxing massage.

Take a shower together.

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Granted, this might be difficult to do without things going too far very quickly, but if you can try and detach from the situation, you can really take the time to care for one another. Wash one another’s bodies, stand under the water together in the quiet, and just bask in each other’s bodies. This is without a doubt one of the most intimate things to do with your partner.

Netflix and chill… but for real.

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The whole “Netflix and chill” thing is generally understood to be code for getting it on. However, why not take it literally? Find a series to binge-watch together or a few movies to hit up back to back, then get a bunch of your favorite snacks together and just relax in your comfy clothes on the couch for the night. Cuddle up close and relax.

Dance to your favorite songs.

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Want to see each other without the daily stress and just have fun? Dance to your favorite songs. Sit down together, make a playlist, and dance like no one’s watching. You’ll laugh, forget about being self-conscious, and open up to each other in a way you’ve probably never done before.

Play games.

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First things first. Don’t do this if either one of you is overly competitive. If winning isn’t the only thing that matters to you, have a game night. There are plenty of two-player board and card games out there. Skip the video games for this one. Other games are more intimate and encourage those deeper conversations.

Share an embarrassing secret.

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I know it’s terrifying to think of him knowing about getting gum stuck in your hair and going through your senior year with a massive hunk of hair missing. Who cares? Laughing together is intimate, and couples who laugh together are happier. Go ahead and share your embarrassing secrets. He’ll have plenty of his own.

Share each other’s favorite hobbies.

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We’ve all dreamed of finding the right person who’ll love all of our hobbies. It’s not going to happen, but there’s something intimate about being willing to try each other’s hobbies. Each of you should pick a hobby you’d like to try of the others. Even if you don’t like it, you’ll understand it better. The smile you see on your partner’s face when you offer to at least try will melt your insides.

Cook a meal together.

couple cuddling in kitchen over breakfast

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You might go out to eat a lot together, but why not work as a team to create your own recipes? Go to the grocery store to buy the ingredients for your meal, then head into the kitchen together and get prepping and cooking. You’ll be so pleased with yourselves by the time the meal is made and you’ll get to enjoy the delicious results at the end of it!

Send flirty texts to each other.

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I know we’re talking about intimate things to do with your partner that aren’t sex, but even if sending suggestive messages is kind of cheating a little bit, it’s still worth trying. If you’re someone who’s a little bit shy or you simply want to get each other excited about the next time you are actually in bed together, sending flirty texts is a great thing to try. Let your freak flag fly and tell them all the things you want to do to them (and what you want them to do to you). You won’t be able to resist each other the next time you’re together.

Flirt like you used to.

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When you first got together, chances are you both flirted relentlessly and it was a lot of fun. However, the longer you’ve been a couple, the less of a role flirting has had in your relationship. Don’t let that be the case! Go back to the beginning and treat each other like you’re only beginning to court. You’d be surprised at how close this makes you feel and how special too.

Write each other a love letter.

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You might feel a little bit corny writing out long, poetic declarations of love, but don’t put too much pressure on the situation. You don’t need to be a regular William Shakespeare to do this either. All you need to do is put down your honest feelings in words and share them with your partner. They’ll love knowing how much you care about them. You have to admit, it feels pretty great!

Surprise them with some of their favorite stuff from the store.

couple leaning in kissing

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This might not seem intimate, but it is because it means you know them well enough to have committed their favorite things to memory. You can pick out stuff you know they’ll love without even needing their input, they’re just that familiar to you. It’s actually really sweet.

Say “I love you.”

dating an emotional guy

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This is one of the best, most intimate things to do with your partner. While actions are more important than words when it comes to letting your partner know how you feel, sometimes hearing the words is really reassuring as well. Practice vocalizing your affection for your partner and you’ll be surprised at how much closer to them you’ll feel.

Intimacy happens outside the bedroom too. Give these a try and you’ll see exactly what I mean.

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Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.