So, you want to get intimate with your honey. Guess it’s time to strip down and play with each other’s naughty bits. WRONG! Okay, so sex is intimate (at least great sex with someone you like is intimate), but believe it or not, there are other things to do that can build as strong of a connection with your partner. They make you feel even closer, and if you do them right, they’ll probably lead to even better sex.
Don’t be scared of deeper intimacy than just doing the horizontal (or vertical, if you’re up for a change) tango. Try some of these today and see just how incredible they make you feel.
Spend some time cuddling.
Skip the sex and go straight to cuddling. Put on some background noise like a movie you’ve both seen a hundred times or some music. Just wrap yourselves up in each other and listen to the gentle rhythm of his heart beat and breathing. It’s sweet and more intimate than you might think.
Talk about what’s really important.
You say you’re fine, he grunts that his day was good too. You might share some meaningless celebrity gossip and he’ll share how proud he was of some bodily gas he excreted earlier. That’s not enough. Have a deeper conversation. You don’t have to do it everyday, but talk about hopes, fears, dreams and even about the relationship itself.
Offer to help your partner with something.
Nothing is quite as sexy as a man that’s not afraid to help with the dishes or any other chores for that matter. Helping your partner with some random task gives you the two of you extra time together and shows you care. It’s amazing how close you feel when you wash and he dries.
Play Truth or Dare.
Add a bit of risk into the equation with some old school Truth or Dare. I know it might sound childish, but why should couples have to be mature 24/7? Sit down in the middle of the living room floor and have fun. You’ll be laughing and opening up in no time. If you play it right, one intimate thing might just lead into another.
Try something new together.
Trying something new together makes both of you more vulnerable. Neither one of you know what to expect. This means you share the entire experience for the first time together. It’s simple, but deeply intimate.
Focus on just making out.
Somewhere along the way, we’ve lost sight of the joy of simply making out. Keep the clothes on and enjoy the thrill of kissing without expecting anything else. Going straight to the main course is so boring. Try something more innocent and see how connected you truly feel.
No, I don’t mean sex. I’m talking about literally sleeping together. Curl up with each other and drift off. Trusting each other enough to simply sleep together is incredibly intimate. It’s also strangely romantic.
Share your fantasies.
I didn’t say other forms of intimacy had to exclude sex completely. How often have you wanted to role play? What about trying a little bondage? My guess is you were too shy to bring it up. Sit down and share your fantasies. You don’t have to do them right this second, but it takes courage to open up and say what you’d love to try one day.
Give each other a massage.
Skip the professionals and give each other massages instead. One of the sexiest things in the world to me is a guy who knows how to rub all the tension out of my neck and back. It’s perfectly fine to get naked. Just don’t have any expectations outside of an intimate, relaxing massage.
Dance to your favorite songs.
Want to see each other without the daily stress and just have fun? Dance to your favorite songs. Sit down together, make a playlist and dance like no one’s watching. You’ll laugh, forget about being self-conscious and open up to each other in a way you’ve probably never done before.
First things first. Don’t do this if either one of you is overly competitive. If winning isn’t the only thing that matters to you, have a game night. There are plenty of two player board and card games out there. Skip the video games for this one. Other games are more intimate and encourage those deeper conversations.
Share an embarrassing secret.
I know it’s terrifying to think of him knowing about getting gum stuck in your hair and going through your senior year with a massive hunk of hair missing. Who cares? Laughing together is intimate. Go ahead and share your embarrassing secrets. He’ll have plenty of his own.
Share each other’s favorite hobby.
We’ve all dreamed of finding the right person who’ll love all of our hobbies. It’s not going to happen, but there’s something intimate about being willing to try each other’s hobbies. Each of you should pick a hobby you’d like to try of the other’s. Even if you don’t like it, you’ll understand it better. The smile you see on your honey’s face when you offer to at least try will melt your insides.
Intimacy happens outside the bedroom too. Give these a try and you’ll see exactly what I mean.
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