You might be blissfully happy in your relationship, but how can you be sure if you know your partner well enough yet? It’s not as simple as knowing someone’s favorite color and what the person likes to do for fun. Here are some deeper questions you should be able to answer about your significant other.
What direction is your partner’s career going in?
Is your partner’s job stable? You should know if your partner is happy with that job or wants to switch it up and do something else entirely. These are really important things to know about the person you’re dating. It’ll tell you what path your partner’s life is going to take and if it matches up with your expectations.
What are their long-term life goals?
Besides career goals, does your partner have other plans for life? Does it align with your goals? You should also know if they ever want to live in a different location for any reason, or if they plan to take a trip around the world before settling down. Would you be willing to follow? These are important things to know about a person. Otherwise, you don’t know them well enough to predict if your relationship has a future or not.
Do they want kids?
This is an equally important question that you must know the answer to. No matter how in love you are, if you don’t know if your family goals align, you definitely don’t know your partner well yet and you could be setting yourself up for disaster. If you want kids and they don’t, or if the opposite is true, you need to figure that out.
How is their relationship with their family?
In addition to ideas about having a family, you should be aware of the current situation with your significant other’s family members. Is your partner close to them or do they keep a distance? Are they interested in getting to know your family? You should figure out what kind of family values they have so you know if any of it is a deal breaker for you. This is something that ended up destroying one of my relationships, so I know firsthand how important knowing this information is.
Would they still want to be with you if your appearance changed?
Physical appearance is bound to change as we age, for example, when women have children. Would your partner still want to be with you if you don’t look the same, or are they extremely superficial? This is something that you should be able to answer.
How do they react after an argument?
If you haven’t had an argument yet or don’t know how your partner would handle a disagreement, you definitely don’t know them well enough. It’s important to know how they work through conflict. Do they ignore it until it blows up or tries to resolve it right away? Knowing how they process emotion is essential for getting to know them well.
What is most important to them in a relationship?
Does your partner value trust and communication or are they more concerned with the physical aspect of your relationship? You should also figure out if they’re looking for the same things in a significant other as you are. These are things you need to learn to be able to really know who your partner is.
What would they define as cheating?
Is harmless flirting OK with your partner but not OK with you? Do they still use dating apps? Have you had a talk about exclusivity? If you don’t know the answer to questions like these, you probably need to dig deeper.
How are they with finances?
This is never an easy topic to bring up, but you definitely need to know how your partner handles money. It’s something that all couples should be on the same page about. Otherwise, you could be in for a shock down the road.
Are you truly compatible sexually?
After the newness of a relationship wears off, you need to make sure you’re still compatible sexually. If you both have very different sex drives, it could cause problems. And if you do have different sexual preferences, is your partner willing to overcome that with you?
What are their views on chore division?
This may sound silly, but it can actually become a huge problem in a relationship. What would your partner think of as a fair division of responsibilities if you lived together? This can be a number of different things like who takes out the trash, who pays the bills, or who would stay at home to raise your kids. These are crucial things to know about the person you’re with.
Is religion important to them or not?
Do your religious beliefs align, and could there be a compromise if your ideas are different? What does your partner’s family have to say about it? These are things that may not be important right away but could become a problem down the line if you aren’t aware of the other person’s religious expectations.
What was their childhood like?
Were there traumatic events during your partner’s childhood that have shaped what kind of person they are today? This is important to know because it’ll tell you how they’ll react to or handle any given situation. You need to know how their past may affect the future. If you can answer this question and those previously mentioned, you definitely know your significant other pretty well.