13 Signs You’re Dating a Mama’s Boy

Do you ever feel like the third wheel when hanging out with your guy and his mom? We all want to be the most important lady in our lover’s life, but sometimes those mother-son bonds are unbreakable (not to mention unnatural). Is it time to cut the umbilical cord? Here are 13 signs you’re dating a total mama’s boy.

She shows up unannounced. She wasn’t just in the neighborhood because she doesn’t live anywhere near him, but yet she still can’t ever make the courtesy call before she just stops by. Worst yet, she definitely has a key and will let herself in without knocking, so don’t ever walk around without your clothes on when you’re at his place.

She still does everything for him. Whether it’s grocery shopping, packing his lunch for him, doing his laundry or making his bed, she isn’t just his mom, she’s his personal assistant… and neither of them would have it any other way.

She calls all the time. They just got off the phone and she’s calling again. She’s so much worse than the obsessive ex-girlfriend, because when she calls, he refuses to hit the ignore button.

She doesn’t think you’re good enough. But don’t take it personal, she doesn’t think anyone is good enough for her adult son who’s incapable of grocery shopping, making his own lunch, or doing his own laundry.

She decorated his apartment. He might be a bachelor but he’s definitely not living in a bachelor pad. Mommy dearest has that place decorated floor to ceiling, just the way she likes. Don’t even dare adding anything to this space unless you want to start a world war with his interior designer, aka Mama.

Her guilt trips actually work on him. By this point in our lives, most of us have become desensitized to our mother’s guilt, but not him. She might as well be a cult leader the way he blindly follows whatever she says.

He can’t stand up to her. Even when he knows she’s wrong, he won’t admit it, and he would definitely never have the balls to tell her.

He doesn’t defend you. When she goes ranting on to him about all of your imperfections, he never has your back. And when she makes snide remarks to your face, he ignores them and pretends not to notice.

He consults her before doing anything. Even though he’s making all the big decisions at work without any help, in his personal life, she’s the judge and the jury for even the most mundane choices. He can’t try a new restaurant unless she’s given it the stamp of approval, so you better believe that woman will be picking out your ring (which is why it’s very important to stay on her good side).

She’s his emergency contact. Even after you moved in, he’s still listing her as his emergency contact.

She’s the first person he calls with news. Whether he got a big promotion from work or got laid off, she always seems to know before you.

He compares you to her. Even when you try to do the things for him that she’s been doing, you can never seem to measure up. Even if you follow her recipes to the tee, he still thinks something’s missing, and you know when you’re folding his clothes that you’re bound to hear something along the lines of, “That’s not the way that mother does it.”

He has a picture of her on his desk. Sure, she took the photo and bought the frame, but the point is, she’s front and center on his desk and in his life, and you’re just somewhere in the background.

But it can’t all be bad, after all. There are some upsides of dating a mama’s boy, as well. It’s up to you to decide if you can handle it.

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