13 Signs You’re Dating A Mama’s Boy & The Benefits It Comes With

Do you ever feel like the third wheel when hanging out with your boyfriend and his mom? We all want to be the most important woman in our lover’s life, but sometimes those mother-son bonds are unbreakable and a little too intense.. Is it time to cut the umbilical cord? Here are 13 signs you’re dating a total mama’s boy.

  1. She shows up unannounced. She wasn’t just “in the neighborhood” because she doesn’t live anywhere near him. However, she still never makes a courtesy call before stopping by. Worst yet, she definitely has a key and lets herself in without knocking. In other words, don’t ever walk around without your clothes on when you’re at his place.
  2. She still does everything for him. Whether it’s grocery shopping, packing his lunch for him, doing his laundry or making his bed, she isn’t just his mom, she’s his personal assistant. Weirdly enough, neither of them would have it any other way.
  3. She calls all the time. They just got off the phone and she’s calling again. She’s so much worse than the obsessive ex-girlfriend, because when she calls, he refuses to hit the ignore button. Keeping in touch is great, but you can have too much of a good thing.
  4. You feel like she doesn’t think you’re good enough. Don’t take it personally. It could be that she doesn’t think anyone is good enough for her adult son. Yes, the same son who’s incapable of grocery shopping, cooking his own meals, or ironing his own clothes.
  5. She decorated his apartment. He might be a bachelor, but he’s definitely not living in a bachelor pad. Mommy dearest has that place decorated floor to ceiling, just the way she likes. Don’t even dare adding anything to this space unless you want to start a world war with his interior designer, aka Mama.
  6. Her guilt trips actually work on him. By this point in our lives, most of us have become desensitized to our mother’s guilt, but not him. She might as well be a cult leader the way he blindly follows whatever she says.
  7. He can’t stand up to her. Even when he knows she’s wrong, he won’t admit it, and he would definitely never have the balls to tell her. He wants to keep the peace with her at any cost.
  8. He doesn’t defend you. When she goes ranting on to him about all of your imperfections, he never has your back. When she makes snide remarks to your face, he ignores them and pretends not to notice. He tells you he’s on your side, but he doesn’t act like it.
  9. He consults her before doing anything. Even though he’s making all the big decisions at work without any help, in his personal life, she’s the judge and the jury for even the most mundane choices. He can’t try a new restaurant unless she’s given it the stamp of approval, so you better believe that woman will be picking out your ring (which is why it’s very important to stay on her good side).
  10. She’s his emergency contact. Even after you moved in, he’s still listing her as his emergency contact. What are you, chopped liver?
  11. She’s the first person he calls with news. Whether he got a big promotion from work or got laid off, she always seems to know before you. Of course his mom is going to be proud of him, but why is she his first port of call?
  12. He compares you to her. Even when you try to do the things for him that she’s been doing, you can never seem to measure up. Even if you follow her recipes to the tee, he still thinks something’s missing, and you know when you’re folding his clothes that you’re bound to hear something along the lines of, “That’s not the way that mother does it.”
  13. He has a picture of her on his desk. Sure, she took the photo and bought the frame, but the point is, she’s front and center on his desk and in his life, and you’re just somewhere in the background.

Are there any upsides to dating a mama’s boy?

  1. He respects women. A mama’s boy thinks his mom is number one, which means he knows how to treat a woman well. Plus, his mom would probably kick his butt if he disrespected a woman.
  2. He knows how to give a gift. Your mama’s boy is not only going to remember every anniversary/birthday/half birthday, but he’s going to sweetly acknowledge them in ways you actually appreciate.
  3. He’s tuned in to a woman’s emotions. Guys who are really close to their moms have an insider perspective on what makes them tick (and what pisses them off). This is always a welcome bonus.
  4. You’ll always have somewhere to spend the holidays. Whether your family is a little far to get to for every holiday or you just feel like avoiding them sometimes, you can be sure a mama’s boy will be ready to visit home at a moment’s notice.
  5. He has high expectations. This is a good thing because it means you have already passed his first round of assessments about what type of girl you are.
  6. Family is important to him. You can rest assured that a mama’s boy is going to take his own future family life very seriously.
  7. He’s sensitive. A mama’s boy is not only sensitive to what women are feeling, but he’s also more in tune with what he’s feeling, as well.
  8. He’s chivalrous. A guy who wants to make women happy is going to be on his best dating behavior. Cue the door opening and cute moves like offering you his jacket.
  9. He’ll only take you home if he’s serious about you. You don’t have to worry about a mama’s boy stringing you along. He wouldn’t introduce you to his mom unless he meant business, because she means business.
  10. He understands (or at least respects) your period. This isn’t going to be the boyfriend who gets all snarky and asks if you’re PMSing every time you slightly raise your voice or get sensitive. In fact, he’ll probably bring you a hot water bottle and a bar of chocolate to make things easier.
  11. He was instilled with certain rules. As long as a mama’s boy has individuated from his mom enough to make his own decisions, the behavioral rules he learned growing up will stay with him like an internal compass.
  12. He’s honest. A mama’s boy didn’t hide stuff from his mom growing up, he told her everything – maybe to a fault. That sort of honesty tends to stick around.
  13. He’s committed. A mama’s boy knows a thing or two about commitment. He’s been by his mom’s side since the day he was born. He’s not going to shy away from spending time with any other woman he likes, either.
  14. He knows when to shut up. Doting mothers do anything for their sons, including setting rules and expecting them to be abided. A mama’s boy knows what is appropriate behavior and what isn’t, and can draw that line without needing to be asked.
  15. You get another mom. When you’re in with the mama’s boy’s mom, she’s going to treat you like another kid of her own. Whatever is in her son’s best interest is in hers, as well.
Rachael is an award winning stand-up comedienne, freelance writer, and BravoTV superfan. Her Real Housewives tagline is “The only thing bigger than my boobs are my personalities.” In her spare time, she keeps busy catering to the needs of a very spoiled Siberian Husky, (Paris Hilton), cleaning the skeletons out of her closet (to make room for more shoes), and swiping left to everyone on Tinder. Follow her on twitter @therealplandd.