13 Things Bisexual Women Are Sick Of Hearing

Everyone assumes that life is easy for bisexual women – after all, they get to be “greedy” and play both sides. Of course, that’s just one of the many wrong assumptions about women who date both men and other women. Just because you happen to be attracted to both sexes doesn’t mean you’re really any different than anyone else.

If you’re a bisexual woman, you’ve probably heard most of these annoying assumptions at some point. The ignorance drives you crazy and really makes you question telling anyone your orientation, but maybe eventually, someone will get it right.

  1. “You’re into threesomes, right?” It’s one of the most common questions you hear. Just because you like both doesn’t mean you want both at the same time. If you like threesomes, great, but being bisexual doesn’t mean you have to. Guys love assuming this. If only they’d use their other heads to think sometimes, life would be so much better.
  2. “Maybe you’re just a lesbian.” If you were a lesbian, you’d just say that. Being attracted to women doesn’t mean you’re only attracted to them, and there’s nothing more obnoxious than someone trying to put you into a carefully labeled box you didn’t choose for yourself.
  3. “Have you ever actually been with a woman?” Who cares? You don’t have to have sex with a woman to know whether you’re physically attracted to her. You know what you like and it’s nobody else’s business what you have and haven’t done.
  4. “So, you just sleep with everybody?” This is like assuming every straight woman sleeps with every single guy she finds. It’s insane to think that being bisexual means you’re a sex addict. You’re not attracted to everybody. You still have preferences.
  5. “Don’t worry, you’ll find the right guy.” Supposedly, finding the right guy will magically rid you of those silly bisexual urges. All you need is great sex with a man to make you straight. Yeah, right.
  6. “Is this just a phase?” It’s only a phase if you’re drunk in college and decide to experiment. You kind of know what you like by the time you’re in high school. Your sexual orientation isn’t just a phase, and even if it is, that’s got nothing to do with anyone else.
  7. “When are you going to pick a side?” This isn’t some kind of competition. You don’t have to choose a side. I’ve yet to see anyone wearing shirts that say Team V or Team P. Maybe there’d be world peace right now if everyone didn’t have to choose sides and could just get along.
  8. “You’re just doing it to attract guys.” Okay, so some women claim to be bisexual just to get a guy’s attention. This gives all the real bisexual women a bad name. That’s rare, though, and not why most women date the same sex. You like what you like and people should get over themselves.
  9. “You could never be with just one person.” Everyone seems to assume if you like both men and women, you’d never be satisfied in a monogamous relationship. Straight women are attracted to numerous men, but they can settle down with just one. Don’t they realize the same thing applies to you?
  10. “Dating must be so easy for you.” That’s right, you like everyone, so you could just go pick a random person and hook up, no problem. Except obviously, anyone living in the real world realizes it doesn’t work that way. You’re just like everyone else. You have to find the right person, get their attention, start a conversation and see how it goes. It’s just as difficult, and sometimes it’s even harder, especially when your partner finds out you’re bisexual.
  11. “Who’s better in bed?” While it’s annoying, you can’t really blame people for asking this one. Straight and gay women are still curious as to which gender is better. Still, it’s a little frustrating to be considered a sex expert. Once again, being bisexual doesn’t mean you’re screwing every person you can find.
  12. “But… you look straight.” Umm… how do you even take this one? I’ve never noticed that straight, gay or bisexual people look any different. In fact, they all look like normal women. It’s kind of insulting to judge someone’s sexual orientation just by how they look.
  13. “So, you love trying kinky stuff?” You’ve probably just wanted to slap people when they ask you this. I’m not sure why some people think that being bisexual means you’re this ultra dirty girl who’s up for anything. Remind them you’re a “bi” sexual and not a “tri” sexual. Maybe then they’ll understand just how ignorant comments like that really are.

Life as a bisexual woman is great. At least, it is until you have to deal with the same annoying assumptions about bisexuals day after day. This isn’t something new and it’d be nice if people took time to actually understand what bisexual means before they run off at the mouth.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.