There are words and then there are fighting words, and some you just can never take back. It’s easy to spew profanities and hateful diatribes when you are mad, but if you plan on ever making up, some things are just simply off limits. Here are 13 things to never say to your partner when you’re fighting, no matter how pissed you are:
- Anything about his weight/appearance. You know he’s been extra sensitive about losing his hair lately, so calling him a bald loser because he forgot to pick up dinner for you like he promised is just a low blow. He may be a loser, but you’re the one who chooses to sleep with the bald guy. You probably don’t want him bringing up those few extra pounds you’ve packed on, so zip it.
- “You always…” Generalizations are never a good idea, and if he’s always doing whatever it is you are accusing him of, why are you even still together? This fight is starting to sound a lot like Groundhog Day.
- Anything rude about his family. Sure, his dad might be a raging alcoholic and his mom is way too clingy, but what does that have to do with the argument you’ve been having about when he’s going to pop the question? They say when you marry a man, you marry his family, so keep these little tidbits to yourself.
- Anything rude about his friends. Yeah, I get it — every time he hangs out with so-and-so he stays out too late and doesn’t call, but that’s on him, not his douche bag friend. Keep the fight between the two of you and don’t use his friends as punching bags, even if they are super silly.
- “Last time…” This just screams “I’m still harboring resentment towards you from our last fight.” You obviously quasi-forgave him for “last time” if you’re still together to have this fight, so let it go and stick to the current situation.
- “I hate you.” Sure, there’s a thin line between love and hate, and at the given moment you probably do hate him, but if you still love him, you should try your best not to say it. Believe it or not, guys have feelings too, and this one can sting.
- “Leave.” Unless you actually legitimately want him to leave, don’t say it. Chances are, once you do, he may not come back. Be prepared for him to take your threats seriously and not know that you’re just talking out of your ass because you’re pissed off.
- “You’re a loser.” Because even though you’re only saying it out of anger, there must be some truth to it if you’re saying it at all. If you’re having issues with him being out of work or being just plain lazy, address it, and stop the childish name calling.
- “I don’t love you anymore.” Unless you actually don’t, and then carry on girlfriend. Just know that it’s probably the last fight you’re ever going to have.
- Anything unrelated to the specific fight. Yeah, yeah, the snoring is annoying, but we’re talking about the cheating here. One issue at a time!
- Anything you’ve fought about before and already resolved. So basically when you said you were over x, y, and z, you were lying. Here we go again…
- Any comparison to another person/couple. That’s cool that your best friend’s boyfriend would never talk to her that way, but their relationship has nothing to do with yours. Instead of comparing your guy to everyone else’s, make it about what you will (and won’t) put up with.
- “You never…” Another generalization just like “You always…” but this one sounds even more accusatory. If he’s really “never” giving you what you need in your relationship, it’s time to move on.