You always hear about being strong, standing your ground, and not letting things slide. In most situations, these are solid pieces of advice, but most happy couples make a habit of not sweating the small stuff. Sometimes in order to keep the peace, you’re going to have to let some things go—here are a few of them.
- Things you’ve already forgiven We all make mistakes—literally no one is perfect. But if your guy makes a mistake and you decide to forgive him, you have to let it go. The past can’t be changed and no one wants to constantly be reminded of how they messed up. If he’s done something you can’t forgive and you choose to stay with him, it’ll forever become a source of animosity between you, which is NEVER healthy.
- Random miscommunication Sometimes things get taken out of context or lost in translation. Reminder: you are two TOTALLY different people. Communication is key and it’ll be important to learn how to do so properly, but miscommunication is bound to happen. Apologize, forgive, figure it out, and let it go. He’s only human.
- Jealousy and checking out other girls Unless it’s blatantly disrespectful, let it slide. I’m sure you’ve innocently checked out someone attractive before yourself. It happens—it’s human nature and it’s nothing to work yourself up about. Same with an occasional like of a female co-worker on social media—it’s most likely completely innocent. If it really upsets you, there may be other reasons he has you feeling insecure, and that’s most likely something you can’t let slide. Get to the core of the issue and resolve it before it’s too late.
- His interactions with his family Maybe he’s a mama’s boy. Maybe he’s extremely overprotective of his sister or gets obnoxiously “boyish” around his brother. Deal with it. It’s most likely how they’ve interacted his whole life, and he’s not going to change it just because it annoys you. His blood is important to him. Try not to get in the way of that.
- Hobbies that you might not be into yourself Think about it this way: you fell in love with this guy because he was who he is, so why try to change it? If he likes to spend his Friday nights bowling and you hate the tacky shoes and only throw gutter balls, you just have to let it go. As long as his habits are healthy, let him do him and you do you. If you stop him from doing things he loves, he won’t be happy and in turn, neither will the relationship. Just make sure you do have things you enjoy doing together as well.
- Guys’ night out Maybe a few drinks help him blow off steam or he needs some guy time once in a while to bond with his bros. You should trust that even when his testosterone is flowing and he’s chugging beers and doing whatever guys do, he isn’t doing anything to disrespect your relationship. As long as he doesn’t give you problems when you hang out with your gals, pay him the same respect. If he raises hell or you don’t feel secure, then once again, there may be deeper underlying issues that need to be addressed.
- The occasional indulgence Maybe he splurged on a new car part or video game. He’s a grown man, and as long as he’s taking care of his obligations and these indulgences aren’t a priority, let him have his fun. I mean, you know that feeling when you go on a shopping spree or spend a day at the spa. Allow him his happiness unless you want to make him miserable.
- The small stuff Sometimes he leaves the toilet seat up. He wants to watch an action movie and you want to watch a romance. He steals the blankets. If you focus your energy on these little details, they’ll blow up. Obviously you can address it, compromise, and figure out a solution, but don’t let it turn into a fight. If you want a future with this guy, you won’t want to spend your time worrying about petty things.
- Tdea of perfection He’ll make mistakes, you’ll make mistakes, and accidents will happen. You’ll disagree, you’ll argue, and sometimes you’ll be furious with each other. As I’m sure you’ve figured out, life isn’t perfect. Relationships are hard work and love is a choice. A happy relationship is one where both parties don’t expect perfection, they love the raw realness of each other. Remember not to try and change the person you fell in love with and mold them into someone else.