13 Ways Your Relationships Change When You Stop Chasing Drama

Ah, drama. Most people say that they hate it (save for watching it on their favorite reality shows), and yet it’s pretty much all over the place. Most of us not only fail to avoid it, we actually end up seeking it out in one way or another in our relationships. Call it a defense mechanism, ensuring you don’t find the right guy, or simply a flair for the dramatic when other things aren’t too exciting. However, you’re screwing yourself over and missing out on how good life can be when you’re straight up with other people and vice versa. Here’s how your relationships change when you stop chasing the drama.

  1. You suddenly realize what a loser your ex was. You’ve been replaying aspects of that relationship for years, trying to figure out why you were unlovable, but now you realize that you’re the one who was worried that you were unlovable, and you just found the right guy to mirror that back to you. Whoops.
  2. You feel a little embarrassed. When drama no longer holds the allure that it used to you’ll have some memories of mean girl gossiping that you hope no one else remembers.
  3. You can’t stand certain people you used to love. All the sudden, you and your old roommate have nothing in common, and it’s hard for you to imagine what you ever did.
  4. Your meaningful friendships deepen. And they get really good. That drama life has a chaotic element to it, and now you’re surrounded by people who would do anything for you which comes from a selfless place, instead of a selfish one.
  5. You care less about what other people think. And it’s not just because you’re more grounded, it’s literally because you’re not sticking around to even listen to what negative people have to say about anything. Problem solved.
  6. There’s more vulnerability, but in a good way. The dramatic life features a lot of surface level showiness, but when that’s stripped away, there’s only real stuff left and suddenly you’re exposed in a new, healthier way.
  7. You start to live in the moment. It’s easier to enjoy the company of people when you’re not trying to remember the sordid details of what they’re saying to replay later to someone else.
  8. People start respecting you. As soon as you stopped dealing the office gossip, you were taken more seriously around the place. Coincidence?
  9. The qualities change that you look for in men. You’re less about the show and more about the substance. Hey where did all these super cute but nice guys suddenly come from?
  10. Your friend group gets more mature and driven. They say to surround yourself with successful people who make you happy, and now you get why.
  11. There’s less fighting. With dramatic relationships there’s just always something to deal with. In not dramatic relationships, there just isn’t. You can just enjoy people.
  12. You get closer to select people. Chasing the drama can go far and wide across many social circles, so when you stop expending that energy, you can use it on your core besties who’ve never caused any strife in your life.
  13. People are nicer to you. People start being nicer to you in general, because you have seemed to get a little nicer and less judgmental yourself.
Kate Ferguson is a Los Angeles local and freelance writer for a variety of blog and magazine genres. When she's not writing, the UC Davis graduate is focused on pursuits of the entertainment industry, spin class, and hot sauce. Look for article links, updates, (and the occasional joke) on Twitter @KateFerg or @WriterKateFerg, or check out her personal blog ThatsRandomKate.blogspot.com