14 Signs You’re A Girl Who Has Zero Chill

14 Signs You’re A Girl Who Has Zero Chill ©iStock/digihelion

You’re intense as hell and “laid-back” is a term that’s never been part of your vocab. You know you need to relax a bit for the sake of your own sanity as well as everyone around you, but you don’t even know where to start. Sound like you? Here are 14 signs you’re over the top and have zero chill:

  1. Your normal speaking voice sounds a lot like yelling. Your dates feel like you’re shouting at them, when in fact it’s your normal speaking voice. Your friends are sure you’re pissed off when you’re really talking at (what you think is) a reasonable volume. The struggle is real.
  2. You find it impossible to speak without dramatic hand gestures. And “passionate” facial expressions because that’s the only way you’re able to explain and get your message across. Your easily spotted in a crowd — people only have to look for your wildly waving hands.
  3. Your BFFs have to remind you to be on your best behavior when meeting new people. Since you often get misread and judged because of speaking too loudly or being a little too frank, they make sure to sit you down and go over what’s okay and what’s a no-go before being around certain people.
  4. Unsolicited, weird and out-of-the-line comments are your way of saying hello. That’s the main reason for your friends’ kind of lengthy intro when you’re in a social setting. You’re not trying to be intentionally provocative, you just don’t have an internal filter.
  5. You have yet to meet the virtue named “self-control.” And you wince at the thought that it will one day happen. How do people do it? You’re of the mind that you should freely do and say whatever you want so long as it’s not intentionally hurtful or offensive, and if other people don’t like it, that’s their problem.
  6. It’s your way or… your way. Or all hell will break loose. It’s not that you think other people are stupid, you just know that you’re smart and like to set the precedent for how things go. You’re a natural born leader, obviously.
  7. You don’t know how to let things go. Your S.O. can rest assured that the reason behind your fight last week is going to be your topic over brunch today. The only difference this time is you’re not spitting venom every time you say his name and throwing his stuff out the window.
  8. Texting “K” doesn’t cut it for you. Instead, you rant with reckless abandon and you sent multiple messages without even bothering to wait for a reply until they flood your boyfriend’s inbox. You also type everything in big letters because you believe that capslock was invented to help you make sure your message gets across clearly.
  9. You’re aggravated AF when other people pull the same crap you do. You lose your cool all too easily (surprise, surprise!) when you come across other people who have no chill. Sure, your behavior is fine for you, but when anyone else pulls the same crap, you get way too angry way too quickly.
  10. You have a knack for saying some really screwed up things. If words can kill, your S.O. is probably six feet under now. Good thing they’re just words and that you never act on them — you just like to talk crap when venting your frustrations, no matter who’s on the receiving end of your diatribes.
  11. You’ve cried way too many times while getting drunk as hell. To hell with self-control. You’ll ugly cry and say what’s in your heart until the bar closes because there are things that you can’t just shrug off. No matter how many shots you’ve had on an empty stomach, you’re not stopping until they kick you out, even if you won’t remember anything tomorrow.
  12. Being told to “calm down” turns you into a psycho. WTF? Why won’t people learn that this is the worst possible thing you can say to a girl who has no chill? They’re really only bringing your reaction on themselves.
  13. You’re yet to be friends with someone who’s chill AF. You wonder how they do it and sometimes with you had that vital skill of maintaining the chill no matter the situation. However, you realized you’re okay with the fact that you’ve got zero chill and if people got a problem with that, you couldn’t care less. You aren’t changing a thing.
Maine Belonio is a twenty-something mom and writer who has a penchant for coffee, long distance running, Tolkien, Switchfoot, and Jesus. Find her broken, honest, and brave musings at mainebelonio.com.