14 Thoughts You Have In Your First Serious Relationship

Nothing’s quite like your first serious relationship. You feel excited, anxious, complete, and totally in love. You feel like you’ve finally mastered this whole dating thing and now you can settle down. For the rare few, that’s how it works. For most of us, it’s kind of like getting your first apartment. It lasts for a while, and then you outgrow it. In the meantime, you’re filled with all sorts of wild thoughts and questions — here are just a few of them.

  1. Is this The One? Okay, so you’ll probably ask yourself this one every time. But this is the first time you’ll really wonder. No guy has ever been this serious about you before. You can’t help but think this one might be the one you’ve been waiting for. He could even turn out to be your soulmate.
  2. I’m finally going to use all those Pinterest boards. It’s okay if you’ve planned out vacations, your wedding, your home decor and what your babies will wear. Until now, they’ve just been fantasies. Now, you might just have a reason to use them.
  3. Should I say “I love you” first? It’s my thought that it’s not actually a serious relationship unless you’ve both said the L-word and meant it. Still, you can tell if the relationship might be heading that way. If you’ve been dating a while and you’re both happy with each other, it’s okay to say it first.
  4. I hope his family loves me. You probably haven’t really cared about meeting a guy’s family before now. You could be with this guy for a while, so you really want his family to love you. I can’t promise they will, but if he loves you, that’s all that matters.
  5. I’ll never love anyone more than him. Yes, it does feel that way. I’ve been there, done that. I was wrong. I did love again and loved even more. But for now, you can’t even imagine a love stronger than what you feel right now.
  6. Should we move in together? You don’t want to rush things, but you don’t want to wait either. Moving in together is a big step. Knowing the right time is hard, especially during your first really serious relationship.
  7. Am I ready for this? The first time things get serious can be overwhelming. Hell, it can scare the crap out of you even the fourth or fifth time. Don’t panic. I don’t think anyone’s really ready. You just have to go with your instincts and see what happens.
  8. I think I’m losing myself. It’s way too easy to get swept up the first time. You get so involved with each other that you start to lose yourself a little. Take a step back and take back your identity. You can still be you in a serious relationship.
  9. But he doesn’t like the same things I do. At first, the two of you might seem 100% compatible. As things get serious, he might start to change and you realize he’s not into everything you are. It’s okay. It can work if you both have different interests.
  10. I only need him. My friends can wait. We’re all bad to do this at the start of a relationship, but during your first serious one, you cut your friends out even more. He’s your best friend and you’re working hard to make the relationship work out. Let me give you a piece of advice – don’t ditch your friends completely.
  11. He’s so perfect. How did I get so lucky? Awww! That’s so cute! I hate to tell you, but he’s not actually perfect. And remember, you’re both lucky to have found each other. Putting him on a pedestal all the time isn’t a good idea. Think “equals” and you’ll both be happier in the relationship.
  12. Is he really that into me? And enter self-doubt. You’ll doubt other relationships too, but this first dose will knock you on your ass. It didn’t work with other guys, so you wonder why this one is different. Why does he want to be with you long-term? Just accept that he does love you and don’t analyze things to death.
  13. I’m a relationship expert now. Congratulations! You now know everything there is to know about relationships. Yes, this is sarcasm. You might know a lot, but don’t start trying to fix everyone else’s love life. They won’t appreciate it.
  14. I wonder what our kids will look like. Now that it’s finally serious for the first time, you start wondering what your kids will look like. You may not have even talked about kids yet, but you already see them in your mind and know what their names will be.

Right now, it’s sort of scary and you’re certain things will last forever. Just don’t let your thoughts run away with you. Enjoy your first. It’s a truly incredible experience you’ll never forget.

Crystal Crowder is a freelance writer and blogger. She's a tech geek at heart, but loves telling it like it is when it comes to love, beauty and style. She's enjoys writing music, poetry and fiction and curling up with a great book. You can find her on Twitter @ccrowderwrites or check out her other writing on Medium.