No one knows exactly when it happens, but at some point lasting relationships move from that new, trying to impress one another thing to straight up comfortable. It can happen in all types of relationships, because the shift can be particularly notable in the romantic variety. Some research has even suggested how long it takes to get there… 11 months and 24 days. Here are some ways your relationship changes when you get comfortable.
Skipping a shave is not a disaster. Who knows why we think spiky legs will send him running in the other direction, but eventually we worry about it a little less.
Your insecurities change. They might not totally go away, but now they’re less like “Will he dump me over this zit?” and more like, “Am I really marriage material?”
You tell him things that you used to only tell your best friend. It’s like you have two best friends now, and he’s as good as a confidant and she has been.
You forget that you’re not wearing makeup. The first few times you slept over, you sneaked into the bathroom before he woke up to freshen up your mascara. Now you wash your face stark clean before hopping into bed.
You’re more likely to call him out. At the beginning of a relationship, you’re less likely to rock the boat, and then one day you start calling him on all his stuff. All of it.
You do nothing together. You started out just spending time together on dates, and then one day you’re at his place on the phone with your mom clipping your toenails while he’s trying to train his cat to pee in the toilet.
You don’t edit your text messages before you send them. You’ve totally done that, don’t deny it. Eventually you stop worrying about how he’s going to interpret a text because he knows you well enough to understand your tone/use of emojis.
You’re comfortable crying in front of him. You used to hide your tears so you wouldn’t be seen as an “overly emotional” woman. That, and you were trying to hide your ugly cry face.
He actually annoys you sometimes. You used to be super impressed by his crazy ability to do voices, but certain days he won’t cut it out and it threatens to drive you completely insane.
You sleep through the night with him. When we’re first getting used to someone (and the noises in their apartment), sleeping isn’t always as blissful as it is in our own beds. Then one day you develop the ability to sleep through his heavy breathing, and that’s that.
You’re fine with time apart. You love the guy, but you really love your alone time too. Once you’re comfortable in the relationship you’re not worried he’s going to take that the wrong way.
You get honest about money. Eventually your less than perfect spending habits have a way of popping up, and so you simply come clean about your debt. He’s not perfect either, as you discover after he gambles away his rent money on a bachelor trip.
You develop weird nicknames for each other. “Babe” can happen super early on, but those nicknames that evolved from a random circumstance you found each other in – those come later.
You make plans for each other. You’ve officially become a “we” when you automatically add him into some brunch plans next week and he clears his schedule for it.
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