Gone are the days when older generations were held in high esteem and given revered positions within the community because their age signified wisdom and knowledge. Nowadays, society places enormous value on youth and treats growing older as a dirty curse that should be avoided or delayed by any means necessary. This attitude has led to the normalization of ageism across all aspects of our culture including everyday conversations. Here are some ageist comments we need to eradicate from our vocabularies to create a kinder and more inclusive environment that values and respects people of all ages.
1. “You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.”
Statements like this imply that older people are naturally unable to learn new things. It’s the narrative that leads to unfavorable hiring practices and discriminatory rules against older people, but it couldn’t be further from the truth. Learning is a lifelong process; people can learn just about anything at any age if they’re interested and committed enough.
2. “You look great for your age.”
It sounds like a compliment to say someone looks amazing considering their age. But what it is is an insult because you’re essentially saying that it’d be a terrible thing if they looked their real age. You’re reinforcing the stereotype that people above a certain age mark are not good-looking, sexy, and attractive. Just tell people that they look great and leave their age out of it.
3. “Past your prime.”
Unless you’re talking to a professional athlete in certain age-dependent sports like gymnastics, tennis, and football, the idea of having a prime is literal nonsense. There’s no age limit for becoming successful, starting a new relationship, pursuing a new career path, traveling the world, or doing most things. You can always make new memories and tweak your life at any age.
4. “Act your age.”
What does that even mean? Are there behaviors that are strictly limited to particular age groups and prohibited from being used by people of other ages? Phrases like this are often used to perpetuate prejudice and modulate behaviors that the speaker deems improper for someone on the higher end of the age spectrum. Let people just be.
5. “When are you going to retire?”
Unless someone has discussed their retirement plans with you in the past, you have no business asking them about it. Doing so suggests that the person is no longer competent at their job because of their age. It also places undue pressure on the person you’re asking, forcing them to contemplate leaving the workplace before they’re ready.
6. “Sorry, I’m having a senior moment.”
When you forget where you kept something or lose your train of thought and you describe it as “a senior moment” you’re being insensitive and ageist. Yes, cognitive problems are more common amongst older adults, but it’s not fair to imply that it’s a thing all or only senior adults suffer from. It’s also not proper to make light of what is a serious and often traumatizing condition for those who experience it.
7. “All that matters is being young at heart.”
Saying things like this is ageist because it subtly implies that certain things are a characteristic of youth or only achievable by a young person. It suggests that being old is a negative thing that needs to be suppressed by staying young in spirit. You can complement a trait you admire in an older person without making biased declarations.
8. “People don’t say that anymore.”
What, is there some sort of limited time window after which you’re never allowed to use certain words? Language is constantly evolving. It’s universal and personal at the same time. Give people the freedom to use whatever expressions they want as long as they aren’t hurting or offending anybody. You don’t have to make people feel ancient or out of touch because they’re using words and phrases that you don’t use.
9. “OK, boomer.”
I’ll never understand why so many people are obsessed with assigning blanket attributes to entire generations of people. Gen Zs are lazy and unprofessional. Millennials are entitled, Boomers are boring, bigoted, paranoid, bad at using technology, and blah blah blah. Maybe you do know a few people of that generation who are that way, but it’s biased and ageist to judge everyone by such stereotypes.
10. “Slow down, grandma/grandpa”
Unless you’re speaking to your actual grandparent, it’s time to retire this saying. There’s no context in which it doesn’t come off as ageist. It always implies that someone is either very old or doing something you think only an old person would do. Instead of using deprecating language such as this, let’s try just respecting other people.
11. “Don’t you think you’re too old for that?”
It’s ageist to say that a person is too old to do or be something, especially when age has little or no bearing on the thing in question. Statements like this confine older people to a box and promote negative stereotypes about what growing older should look like. Aging is not a monolithic experience. People should be allowed to express their personalities, skills, and curiosities at whatever age they are.
12. “60 is the new 30.”
No, it’s not. People in their 60s are not missing out on anything by not being 30, they’ve already lived through that phase. They might be in a different phase now, but they still have goals and things to look forward to just like everyone else.
13. “Can I help you, young man/young lady?”
Even though such statements are usually well-intentioned and aimed at flattery, they’re still pretty ageist, weird, and patronizing. They perpetuate the notion that being old is an unpleasant thing and being young is the best, which is why you think that calling someone who is noticeably older a young person must gladden them. You can be nice and helpful to older adults without mentioning their age.
14. “She’s a seasoned X.”
Stop using the word “seasoned” as an euphemism for old, when addressing or referencing an older adult. It’s lazy and prone to all sorts of negative interpretations. Think of what attributes you’re trying to say that the person possesses and find a clearer descriptor to communicate it. Perhaps you mean that the person has lots of experience or that they’re too stuck in their ways.
15. “You’re pretty good at using X technology for your age.”
There is no cut-off age at which people stop knowing or learning how to use new technological products. Making a big deal out of a person’s technical abilities solely because they’re older and you expect less of them is patronizing, especially if the technology in question is pretty basic or they’re not displaying exceptional mastery over it.