Some people find it hard to talk about their problems with others due to fear, embarrassment, or shame. So, instead, they keep it to themselves and allow things to bottle up. They trick themselves into believing that things will be okay, even though they know it’s a lie. If you do nothing, you can expect nothing. Here’s what can happen if you don’t share your problems.
1. You’ll lash out at those around you
When you bottle things up, anger and frustration will build up, too. As a result of not sharing your problems with others, you’ll start to take it out on them. You might become angry at every little thing they do. You might yell at them or criticize them. Of course, you’re not actually angry with them, you’re just angry at the situation you’re in. They don’t know that, though, because you haven’t told them. The only way it can get better is by talking.
2. You’ll become resentful
Instead of feeling happy for other people, you start to become resentful and envious of their lives. While they seem happy and carefree, you’re dealing with some tough problems and decisions. You want what they have so badly that it starts to make you feel hatred towards them. This isn’t healthy, and it will get worse unless you start to talk about your problems.
3. You’ll become a phony
By not talking about your problems and pretending that you’re fine, other people won’t see the real you. You’ll fake a smile and wear a disguise to convince people that there are no problems, but it’s not true. The more you put on a pretense, the more you lose yourself. Eventually, you’ll get so used to being someone else that you’ll forget who you really are.
4. You’ll push people away
The people in your life who care about you will be able to tell when something is wrong. However, if they keep trying to get you to talk but you keep ignoring them or telling them that there’s no problem, they’re going to get fed up. They might give up altogether and start distancing themselves from you. It’s not because they don’t love you, it’s just that they’re tired of trying and getting nowhere.
5. You’ll fall behind at work
If you’ve constantly got something else on your mind, it’s hard to fully concentrate at work. You’ll try to push it to the back of your mind, but it won’t go away. The truth is your problems can’t go away unless you face them, talk about them, and work out a way to deal with them. So, until that happens, it will be on your mind constantly and distract you from your current tasks.
6. You’ll lose sleep
Have you ever tried to sleep when you’ve got an unresolved problem? It’s hard. It takes up a huge part of your brain, so it’s no wonder you can’t sleep. You just keep thinking about it. If you don’t share it with someone else, it will continue to weigh on your brain and keep you up at night. And not getting enough sleep will only add to your problems!
7. You’ll start overthinking
Sometimes, all you need to do to feel better is to talk to someone about your problem so they can give you some reassurance and put your mind at rest. However, if you avoid doing that, you’ll start overthinking, which could turn a small problem into a very big problem. Don’t delay talking about your problems, as it will only spiral.
8. You’ll isolate yourself
In order to keep your problems to yourself, you might unintentionally isolate from the people around you. You’ll reject invites, stop replying to messages, and spend more time alone, which might make people think that they’ve done something to upset you. The last thing you need is to be alone. You need help and support from the people who love you, but they can’t do that unless you let them in.
9. You’ll feel like an outsider
When you’re dealing with a problem that you’re keeping to yourself it can feel like you’re the only one in the world who is struggling. Of course that isn’t true, but that’s what it might feel like. When you’re at a table with your friends and they’re happily chatting away about trivial things, you’ll feel like an outsider. You can’t join in on the conversation because it’s difficult faking a smile and pretending everything is fine.
10. The problem will escalate
Unfortunately, problems don’t just go away. In many cases, they become worse. Let’s say your problem is with your relationship and you don’t trust your partner. It feels like they’re keeping things from you but you haven’t said a word. If you continue ignoring this problem, you’re going to become more anxious and frustrated. It can then impact other areas of your life—you might struggle with work, and maintaining friendships, and your self-esteem will take a huge hit too. See how one problem can turn into many problems? That’s why you need to address it right away.
11. You could develop unhealthy coping skills
When you don’t talk about your problems, you have to develop ways to distract yourself or silence your brain for a while. You might turn to alcohol, substances, and other unhealthy coping strategies to deal with it. This could lead to addiction and could put you in dangerous situations. Even if it feels like too big of a burden to share, you must let other people know what’s going on.
12. You’ll start to blame yourself
With no one to talk to, it’s a common reaction to start blaming yourself, even if you’re not responsible for your problems. You might convince yourself that you’re the cause because it’s easier that way. However, blaming yourself will lead to self-esteem issues. You might start to resent yourself and lack confidence in your abilities. Therefore, you should share your problems with others—they’ll guide you in the right direction.
13. You’ll get burnt out
Trying to deal with a big problem by yourself can make you feel tired and burnt out. Let’s say you’re in debt and instead of talking to someone about this and developing a plan to deal with this, you take it into your own hands. You take on more hours at your current job and get a second job to pay off this debt, but soon enough you’re too tired to carry on. That’s not good for anyone, especially you.
14. You could develop mental health issues
Burying feelings and trying to ignore your problems can lead to more serious problems like depression, stress, and severe anxiety. It can feel like there’s a heavy weight on your back and you’re carrying it around with you every day. But if no one knows what’s wrong, then no one can help you. You have to let someone in.
15. You’ll explode
If you keep bottling everything up, it’s only a matter of time before you explode. And when this happens, you risk hurting yourself or upsetting those around you. It’s not healthy to keep your feelings buried. Talking about your problems one by one will lift that weight that’s on your shoulders and allow you to move forward with your life.
