Happiness is a state of mind influenced by both internal and external factors. While everyone experiences ups and downs, some people perpetually dwell in unhappiness and almost seem to prefer it that way. Not to be confused with actual depression, unhappiness is something that you can have control over if you want to. The first step is recognizing some of the common character traits shared by people who are chronically unhappy, read on to find out more.
1. They’re perfectionists.
Constantly seeking flawlessness from themselves (and others) is a one-way street to disappointment. Not only is perfection often unattainable, but it’s also exhausting to maintain, so expecting it at all times ends up making them feel like a failure for no good reason.
2. They’re pessimistic.
A consistently negative outlook on life tends to loom over everything they do and every decision they make. That baseline of bitterness prevents them from enjoying even the most positive moments and makes them feel (inaccurately) that nothing ever goes right for them and it never will.
3. They always doubt themselves.
Lack of confidence in themselves can result in persistent feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction with their achievements. It becomes a vicious cycle of not believing they’re capable of accomplishing their goals, deciding not to try, and, therefore, holding themselves back from the things that might actually make them happy.
4. They’re always comparing themselves to others.
Continuously comparing themselves to others breeds envy and discontent, overshadowing their own accomplishments and the things that make them unique. Remember, comparison is the thief of joy—everyone is on their own timeline and no journey is better or worse than the next.
5. They have a victim mentality.
Blaming external circumstances or others for their personal misfortunes fosters a sense of powerlessness and perpetuates unhappiness. When they feel like they have no control over what happens to them, it’s easy to become complacent and stop taking responsibility for their own actions. That gives them “permission” to never make any changes because they’ve convinced themselves nothing they do matters anyway.
6. They lack gratitude.
Failing to appreciate life’s blessings and focusing solely on shortcomings amplifies feelings of discontentment. In reality, the good things they have going for them probably at least balance out the bad, if not outweigh them completely. It’s all about perspective. Never being grateful for the good things in life means they can’t see that it could be a whole lot worse and they’re pretty lucky.
7. They’re too rigid.
Resistance to change and insistence on control can lead to frustration and disappointment when things don’t go as planned. Not everything is going to happen the way they want it to, but they haven’t learned that it’s okay to shift your plans sometimes. Going with the flow and adapting to change can lead to unexpected happiness, but they’re too dead-set on their original plan to see it that way.
8. They withdraw socially.
Introversion is one thing, but people who are perpetually unhappy lean towards isolating themselves from social interactions completely, which ends up depriving them of the chance to build supportive relationships. Without strong connections in their corner, the hard times feel harder and they end up feeling the loneliness even more acutely.
9. They have unrealistic expectations.
Imagine thinking that everything needs to be perfect all the time or there’s no way to be happy. In reality, no one is happy every day of their lives, and it’s totally normal to feel down sometimes. Unrealistic expectations about life and how happiness works can make some people feel like there’s something wrong with them every time they go through a rough patch.
10. They’re afraid of failure.
Paralyzing fear of making mistakes or experiencing failure stops them from taking risks or stepping outside their comfort zone. That makes it difficult to discover anything new about themselves or work towards personal growth. No wonder they’re unhappy when they can never get over the fear long enough to make something of their lives.
11. They have a hard time with forgiveness.
Holding onto grudges and resentments prevents emotional healing and keeps people dwelling on the past instead of looking forward to a brighter future. Bitterness and anger can fester and impact well-being over time until it’s tough to pinpoint exactly what it was they were mad about in the first place. Without forgiveness, relationships can’t grow, which leaves people alone and unsure why they can’t maintain connections.
12. The lack purpose.
Feeling aimless or without direction can lead to a sense of emptiness and dissatisfaction with life. Without a guiding light in the form of interests, passions, or deep connections with others, it’s a lot harder for them to make decisions and figure out what it is that could eventually make them happy.
13. They’re too hard on themselves.
Constantly berating themselves for perceived flaws isn’t the way to build confidence or self-esteem. People who are always unhappy also avoid self-reflection so they never learn from their mistakes, and can’t seem to escape their self-hatred.
14. They depend too much on others.
Relying excessively on others for validation or happiness can lead to disappointment and resentment when expectations aren’t met. They don’t realize that no one else can make them happy and it’s up to them to figure out what they need before going out and fighting for it.
15. They neglect self-care.
Ignoring physical, emotional, and mental well-being can contribute to feelings of unhappiness. Whether they work too much at a job they don’t love, or spend too much time catering to everyone around them, they neglect their own wants and needs and then wonder why they never feel fulfilled or content.
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