15 Mistakes You’re Making That Might Be Driving Your Family Away

15 Mistakes You’re Making That Might Be Driving Your Family Away

If you don’t come from a close-knit family, you might be jealous of those who have strong relationships with their parents, siblings, and other family members. Maybe your bond with your own relatives is all but nonexistent and you want to change things. While that may not be entirely up to you, it’s definitely possible that you’re doing things to keep them at a distance. If you’re guilty of any of the following, you’re pushing your family away.

1. You’re neglecting quality time.

Happy loving caucasian family with adult children standing together in nature on a sunny day. Happy senior couple posing outdoors with their daughter and son in law

Family bonds are nurtured through shared experiences and moments of togetherness. When you forget to invest time in these shared experiences, it can leave your family members feeling extremely isolated. This sense of disconnection can weaken ties over time and create a sense of distance that might be hard to bridge.

2. You’re not communicating effectively.

mom and dad talking to daughter on the couch

Expressing your feelings, thoughts, and concerns openly with your family is really important for maintaining healthy relationships. Misunderstandings and miscommunications tend to happen when there’s a lack of open dialogue, leading to issues that could drive your family away. Encouraging open conversations and nurturing a safe space for honest discussions can help foster stronger relationships.

3. You’re excessively critical.

Angry Caucasian man and senior dad sit separate on couch ignore avoid talking after quarrel fight. Mad stubborn mature father and adult grown son have family misunderstanding. Generation gap concept.

Constructive criticism can be helpful, but when it turns into constant negativity, it’s damaging and really demoralizing. It’s important to offer feedback in a supportive manner and recognize the strengths of your family members. Remember, a balance between criticism and positive reinforcement can create a more supportive environment for growth and mutual respect.

4. You’re not setting boundaries.

Woman apologizes to her friend after fight

Boundaries are vital for maintaining respect and understanding within a family. Perhaps unsurprisingly, disregarding these boundaries can lead to people feeling disrespected and uncomfortable. Establishing and adhering to personal boundaries not only shows respect for individual space but also fosters a healthy family dynamic.

5. You’re not actively listening.

couple standing with the father

When family members share their thoughts and feelings, they’re looking for understanding and empathy in return. If active listening is missing from your interactions, it can make them feel undervalued or misunderstood. By listening actively and responding empathetically, you can nurture mutual understanding and deepen your family connections.

6. You’re holding grudges.

Holding onto past mistakes and resentment can create a toxic environment within a family. The ability to forgive and move on is vital for maintaining peaceful, happy relationships. Letting go of grudges not only eases emotional burdens but also paves the way for better, stronger family ties.

7. You dismiss people’s feelings.

Invalidating or dismissing a family member’s feelings can lead to feelings of being overlooked or misunderstood. It’s important to acknowledge and validate your family members’ emotions. By doing so, you show them that what they feel is important, which promotes a sense of belonging and understanding.

8. You don’t show them how much you appreciate them.

Portrait of mother with her daughters sitting on the sofa and looking at the camera

Appreciation is a powerful affirmation of the efforts and contributions of your family members. When this recognition is lacking, it can lead to feelings of being undervalued. Regularly expressing appreciation can boost their morale and foster stronger familial bonds, emphasizing the significance of each member of the family unit.

9. You avoid difficult conversations.

Family sit on couch having dispute, grown up daughter proves her right aggressively argue with elderly mother, 60s mom in despair due to misunderstanding. Generational gap, conflicts at home concept

While addressing awkward topics can be daunting, avoidance only leads to unresolved issues and growing resentment. Confronting these issues head-on and working together to find solutions can help maintain harmony within the family. Open discussions about difficult topics underscore the importance of transparency and honesty in your familial relationships.

10. You make assumptions.

Mother is nagging her son because he is not independent yet. He is tired of listening to her and annoyed that she doesn't understand his generation.

Jumping to conclusions without seeking clarity can lead to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts. Instead of assuming, it’s crucial to ask questions and strive for clear communication. This approach not only prevents miscommunication but also fosters a more understanding and supportive family environment.

11. You don’t respect personal space.

Mature mother and son quarrel and find out relationship

Respecting personal space is crucial in maintaining healthy family dynamics. Crossing these boundaries can lead to discomfort and a desire for distance. By acknowledging and respecting each other’s personal space, you inadvertently foster a sense of mutual respect and understanding within your family.

12. You compare family members.

Young woman is arguing with her mother

Comparison among family members can breed feelings of inadequacy and resentment. It’s important to appreciate each family member’s unique strengths and individuality. Celebrating these differences instead of comparing them can foster a healthier and more positive family environment.

13. You’re not being flexible.

Woman sitting at table and feeling sad. Her mother standing beside and trying to comfort her.

Insisting on having things your way can lead to conflicts and feelings of resentment. Flexibility and compromise are key to maintaining harmonious family relationships. By showing willingness to compromise, you demonstrate respect for your family members’ thoughts and feelings, fostering better understanding and unity.

14. You don’t keep your promises.

Elderly mother comforts her adult daughter after her quarrel with her husband

Keeping your word is a fundamental aspect of building trust within a family. When promises are broken, it can lead to feelings of disappointment and mistrust. Being reliable and consistent in your actions helps to build a solid foundation of trust, strengthening your family bonds.

15. You don’t share responsibilities.

Sharing responsibilities in a family ensures everyone feels valued and contributes to the family unit. When the balance is tipped, it can lead to resentment and conflict. Ensuring that responsibilities are shared equitably can foster a sense of teamwork and unity, contributing to a more harmonious family environment.

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Phoebe Mertens is a writer, speaker, and strategist who has helped dozens of female-founded and led companies reach success in areas such a finance, tech, science, and fashion. Her keen eye for detail and her innovative approach to modern womanhood makes her one of the most sought-out in her industry, and there's nothing she loves more than to see these companies shine.

With an MBA from NYU's Stern School of Business and features in Forbes and Fast Company she Phoebe has proven she knows her stuff. While she doesn't use social media, she does have a private Instagram just to look at pictures of cats.
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