When a relationship that seemed to be going well, whether that’s a friendship or romantic partnership, starts to go south for reasons you can’t quite put your finger on, you might be wondering what’s really going on. Nothing seems to have changed from the outside, so what gives? Well, it could come down to certain things you’re doing that unintentionally push people away. If you’re guilty of any of the following behaviors, that’s definitely the case.
1. You’re A Negative Nancy.
You might not realize that whenever you hang out with people, every single topic of conversation has a negative connotation. While it’s good to have a support system who can help boost your mood, you might be killing other people’s vibe. Read the room! No one wants to hang out with someone who never has anything positive to say.
2. You’re All About You.
Do you love talking about yourself? How many times in a conversation do you let other people speak? You might be on autopilot, going off on self-centered monologues and making people feel like you’re not even connecting with them. You can’t have a conversation if there’s only one person talking.
3. You Tell People What To Do.
You mean well when you give people advice, but it’s not cool if you’re not really listening to them or letting them vent because you’re too quick to give them your so-called solutions. They might feel like you’re controlling, which they don’t need in a partner or friend. Let people find their own way and avoid giving advice unless you’re asked for it.
4. You Judge People.
If you think you’re always right and other people fall short, you’re pushing people away. Even if you’re not judgemental towards your nearest and dearest, having a judgemental personality towards others can make those closest to you worry that you’re going to be critical of them.
5. You’re The King Or Queen Of Silent Treatment.
If someone upsets you, do you give them the silent treatment? This is wrong on so many levels. It prevents you from working through relationship issues and makes the other person feel like you’re treating them like a child.
6. You’re Emotionally Distant.
When people want to get closer to you, you tend to pull away. Maybe you have trust or commitment issues and you don’t even realize that you’re doing this to people. It could be subtle behaviors you’re displaying, like avoiding them for a while or ignoring their expressions of love.
7. You Only See Them When It’s Convenient.
While you might not mean to hurt people when you cancel plans because your schedule is too busy, you’re giving them the impression that you have to be in control of when you guys hang out. You’re also making them feel like they always have to compromise more to see you.
8. You Laugh Through Everything.
While humor is a great way to diffuse tense or stressful situations, it shouldn’t block you from having greater emotional intimacy with others. If you’re always making jokes when your partner or friend is trying to be serious, they’re going to think you’re not taking your relationship seriously.
9. You’re Unreliable.
Maybe you’re living on a rollercoaster of emotions and that makes you unpredictable, or you don’t stick to plans, always taking a rain check. If people see you as unreliable and inconsistent, it’s going to be off-putting. They want someone who’s going to be there for them on a regular basis, not someone who shows up every once in a while when they can be bothered.
10. You Dish Out Veiled Criticisms.
It’s passive-aggressive to give people veiled criticisms because you don’t want to be straightforward. You might be doing this without even realizing how hurtful it is. It’s time for a bit of self-awareness and self-reflection, don’t you think?
11. You Don’t Take Any Blame.
It’s upsetting if you’re quick to push the blame onto other people for what you’re going through. It’s negative energy others don’t need and can be seen as immature because you’re not taking responsibility for your own life. You’re not perfect, you know.
12. You’re Irritable Most Of The Time.
You’re challenging to deal with if you’re quick to lose your cool and express irritability. It’s like you’re a time bomb about to explode, and people around you might feel it’s draining to deal with you when you’re always so highly strung.
13. You Never Initiate Contact.
If you never take charge of your relationship and initiate contact or hangout sessions, but instead coast along and let the other person text you, it sends the message that you’re not that interested. You’re going along with the motions, but why should they make an effort if you’re not going to?
14. You’re Faking It.
No one wants to be around someone who seems fake. If you pretend to be happy when you’re not, or you promise to be supportive but then disappear when tough times crop up, you’re pushing people away with your hidden agendas. Be real – it’ll earn you so much more respect.
15. You Never Say Sorry.
If you’re never the bigger person who can put your ego aside and apologize for your behavior, you’re telling people in your life that you don’t care about their feelings. Harsh! Although you shouldn’t apologize for everything, take it on the chin sometimes and hand the other person an olive branch. You’ll feel so much better.
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