15 Phrases Narcissistic Partners Use During Arguments

15 Phrases Narcissistic Partners Use During Arguments

Navigating disagreements with a narcissistic partner can feel like a minefield. Their words can be manipulative, hurtful, and downright confusing. Recognizing the specific phrases they use during arguments is crucial for understanding their tactics and protecting your own well-being. These phrases often serve as red flags, signaling their need for control, validation, and superiority. Let’s explore some common phrases narcissistic partners use during arguments so you can better navigate these difficult interactions.

1. “You’re being too sensitive.”

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This phrase is designed to invalidate your feelings and make you question your own perception of reality. They’ll dismiss your concerns as overreactions, making you feel like you’re the problem, not them. By minimizing your emotions, they maintain control and avoid taking responsibility for their own actions.

2. “You’re always making a big deal out of nothing.”

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This tactic aims to trivialize your concerns and undermine your credibility. By belittling your issues, they make you feel like you’re overreacting or exaggerating, which can make you doubt your own judgment and hesitant to speak up in the future.

3. “I never said that.”

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This is a classic gaslighting technique used to make you question your memory and sanity, Medical News Today explains. They’ll deny saying or doing things that you clearly remember, making you doubt your own perception of events. This can leave you feeling confused, frustrated, and unsure of what to believe.

4. “You’re crazy/imagining things.”

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This is another gaslighting tactic aimed at discrediting your feelings and experiences. By labeling you as “crazy” or delusional, they undermine your credibility and make it harder for you to defend yourself. This can leave you feeling isolated and unsure of your own sanity.

5. “Everyone agrees with me, you’re the only one who feels this way.”

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This phrase is designed to isolate you and make you feel like you’re the one with the problem. By claiming that everyone else sees things their way, they make you feel like you’re in the wrong and create doubt about your own perspective. This can make it difficult to stand your ground and assert your own needs.

6. “You’re lucky to have me.”

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This is a manipulation tactic used to make you feel grateful for their presence in your life, even when they’re treating you poorly. By reminding you of their perceived superiority or how much they do for you, they create a sense of obligation and guilt, making it harder for you to leave or stand up for yourself.

7. “You’ll never find anyone better than me.”

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This phrase is designed to instill fear and insecurity. By implying that you’re not good enough to find someone else, they make you feel trapped in the relationship. This can keep you from leaving, even if you’re unhappy and unfulfilled.

8. “If you really loved me, you would…”

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This is a classic guilt-tripping tactic used to manipulate you into doing what they want. By attaching your love to specific actions or behaviors, they create a sense of obligation and make you feel responsible for their happiness. This can make it difficult to set boundaries or prioritize your own needs.

9. “You’re overreacting.”

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This phrase minimizes your feelings and emotions, making you question whether your reactions are valid. It’s a way for them to deflect responsibility and avoid addressing the issue at hand. By making you feel like you’re being irrational or dramatic, they can control the narrative and avoid having to change their behavior.

10. “You’re always the victim.”

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This accusation is meant to paint you as someone who is constantly seeking attention or sympathy. It’s a way for them to deflect blame and avoid acknowledging their own role in the conflict. By portraying you as the perpetual victim, they can shift the focus away from their own wrongdoings and maintain their sense of superiority.

11. “I’m the only one who really understands you.”

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This phrase is designed to isolate you from your support system and make you feel like they are the only person who truly cares about you. By creating this illusion of exclusivity, they can manipulate you more easily and make it harder for you to seek help or validation from other people, according to Healthline.

12. “You’ll never find anyone who loves you as much as I do.”

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This is a fear-based tactic meant to make you feel trapped in the relationship. By instilling doubt about your worthiness and ability to find love elsewhere, they can keep you from leaving, even if you’re unhappy and unfulfilled.

13. “I’m doing this for your own good.”

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This phrase is often used to justify their controlling or manipulative behavior. They might claim that their actions are motivated by love and concern for your well-being, but in reality, they’re simply trying to control you and maintain their power in the relationship.

14. “You’re so selfish.”

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This accusation is a projection of their own self-centeredness. By accusing you of being selfish, they can deflect attention from their own lack of empathy and consideration for your needs. It’s a way for them to make you feel guilty for prioritizing your own well-being and happiness.

15. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

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This seemingly apologetic phrase is actually a non-apology. It’s a way for them to avoid taking responsibility for their actions and minimizing your feelings. By saying “sorry you feel that way,” they imply that your emotions are the problem, not their behavior.

Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.