Have you ever felt like you’re the bad guy for simply setting boundaries? That’s often because someone’s trying to twist your arm with guilt. It’s a skill they’ve honed, a strategy they use to get what they want, often without any obvious confrontation. These aren’t over-the-top tactics; they’re the subtle, everyday kinds that slip under the radar. Let’s call them out. After all, recognizing these signs is the first step in not falling for them.
1. They praise you excessively before asking for a favor.
You know the drill: a barrage of compliments comes your way, and just when you’re basking in the glow, they hit you with a request. It’s like they’ve greased the wheels, so you feel too flattered to turn them down.
2. They compare you to someone else who “would do it.”
Suddenly, you’re up against an invisible yardstick, measured against a friend, a coworker, or even a past version of yourself. “Sarah would’ve lent me the money,” and you’re left feeling petty for not being Sarah.
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4. They bring up past favors they’ve done for you.
Remember that one time they helped you out? They do, and they’ll remind you of it whenever they want something. It’s like they’ve kept the receipt, and now they’re cashing it in.
5. They downplay the inconvenience to you.
“It’s just a small thing,” they say, minimizing whatever they’re asking you to do, even when it’s clearly not. They want you to feel petty for even considering saying no.
6. They question your loyalty.
To them, your refusal isn’t about boundaries; it’s a sign you don’t care. “If you were really my friend, you’d do this,” they say, putting your entire relationship on trial over one favor. Loyalty isn’t about bending to someone’s will, and they’d do well to remember that.
7. They play the victim.
When they want something, suddenly the world is against them, and you’re their only hope. Saying no makes you the bad guy who’s leaving them out in the cold.
8. They act like they’d never ask if they had any other choice.
They make it seem like this request is their last resort, and by not helping, you’re leaving them in a desperate situation. But somehow, they’re often in these ‘desperate’ situations.
9. They get emotional when you push back.
The waterworks start or the temper flares when you question them. It’s like an emotional fireworks display designed to make you back down.
10. They tell you how much they’ve sacrificed for you.
The list of their sacrifices rolls out like a scroll, and you’re left feeling like you owe them for their selflessness, whether it’s true or not.
11. They hint at how bad they’ll feel if you don’t help.
It’s all about how you’re going to ruin their day, week, or life by not doing this one thing. The guilt trip is booked, and they’re trying to put you on it.
12. They go radio silent after you say no.
The cold shoulder comes out in full force, giving you the silent treatment as punishment. It’s like they’ve cut the emotional lines of communication, hoping you’ll come crawling back with an apology.
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