There’s nothing more draining than that friend, family member, or colleague who always finds something to complain about, no matter what. They could win the lottery and still complain that the jackpot was bigger the previous week. People like this are never happy, and their incessant whining could start to rub off on you after a while. Don’t let it! Instead, hit them with one of these replies.
1. “You sound like my mother.”
This one tends to shut people up for a day or two. No disrespect to our moms, but they do have a habit of passing the time simply by finding something new to complain about. It’s harmless, mostly, but pointing out that the person in question is verging into whiny middle-aged woman territory is sometimes enough to make them snap to attention.
2. “Didn’t you complain about that last week?”
Reminding people about how repetitive they are — and that other people have noticed it too — is a good technique for shutting them up. It has to strike the right balance between causing slight embarrassment and smacking some sense into them. They might just realize that their complaining is getting to be an all too frequent occurrence.
3. Silence.
If you feel ready to be the bigger person (ugh), sometimes silence is the adult way to go. Sure, it’s a lot less interesting, but it’s sometimes effective — though it could take a while to see results. While they’ll eventually stop moaning about everything if they don’t get attention, chronic complainers require a more immediate-term solution.
4. Ask a follow-up question to reveal their lack of insight.
It’s always satisfying to reveal when another person is spouting pure BS for attention. We all want to seem knowledgeable. That said, you have to laugh when someone at work comes in complaining about the latest political scandal, but when pressed for more details, can’t answer a single one. The embarrassment will keep them quiet for a week at least — the more public, the better.
5. Replace it with a positive comment.
Show everyone around you how an adult combats negativity. Don’t just join in with the meaningless complaining. Instead, share something you feel grateful for — maybe the 10 minutes just before Susan joined the conversation to complain about Target not accepting her expired coupons, for instance?
6. Change the conversation.
Be abrupt if you have to — other people who are having terrible days will thank you for shifting the dialogue. Sometimes we just need to spread a little love in the world. Or, if that’s too much to ask, then let’s stop giving airtime. This stops short of being outright rude but makes it clear that you’re ready to move on.
7. Ask them directly to stop complaining so much.
Having a grown-up conversation is sometimes the least satisfying but most effective route to finding a solution. Clear, concise communication is key, and giving the chronic complainer a chance to right their wrongs may save their relationship with you. Besides, they should at least respect the fact that you’re being honest and direct with them!
8. Threaten to tell the boss that they’re bad for morale.
This might be a tad too petty for some, but if a colleague is really harshing the vibe of everyone else in the office, it may be appropriate to lodge a formal complaint, or at least threaten to. This person is ruining everyone’s concentration with negativity and it needs to stop.
9. “Clearly you’re a bundle of joy today.”
Just jibe at the complainer and get them to see how their negativity isn’t productive. Ignore whatever they were complaining about and make sure they know that you can see through their facade. Everyone has bad days, but if they seem to be having a bad year, something’s gotta give.
10. “So, I see your mood hasn’t improved since yesterday.”
Show that you notice just how much their negativity pervades your hangouts. This jokingly reminds your complaining friends that you want to hang out with them because you like them, not to shout about the news. They might just realize they’re being a bit of a Debbie Downer and need to change their attitude.
11. “You waste so much of your day complaining?”
This response directly highlights just how lazy it is to complain all the time. Bringing positivity takes energy, but piling on negativity is the easiest thing ever. Making them see that they’re wasting their own time will hopefully encourage them to turn over a new leaf.
12. “Are you actually upset or could you just not think of anything interesting to say?”
This retort goes hard and feels like a total mic-drop moment. Show that you see they they lack a personality beyond complaining. Their negativity is all they have now.
13. “It’s depressing January for everyone — dial it down.”
Maybe chronic complainers think that they’re delivering some kind of national service by reporting the latest bad thing in the world. Why spread that negativity when most people weren’t aware of these issues to start with? Yes, we all want to be well-informed, but nonconsensually throwing out random instances of negativity could trigger some people who were trying to avoid those themes. It’s attention-seeking and careless.
14. “Someone turn the fan up louder to drown out all the negativity.”
They’re just background noise anyway — and they exist by virtue of having nothing else relevant to say. They should reflect on their own headspace if negativity is all they can come up with.
15. “We all saw the news; we’re just trying to get through Monday.”
Remind the complainer that they don’t live on this floating globe alone. Everyone has a smartphone and everyone saw That Big News Outbreak. They never consider that people don’t want to rehash it all again for the sake of small-talk.
16. “Do you think we don’t know the world can be a terrible place, Susan?”
A little rhetoric goes a long way. Get these torrid Complainers to either move on or be quiet. They can find a new friend group if they can change their ways. The rule of thumb: don’t be afraid to say what everyone’s thinking and get them to shut up. There’s enough negativity in the world without complaining at every date night, workplace event, sports team, or hangout.
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