Know-it-alls can be exhausting, especially when they refuse to acknowledge another viewpoint. But here’s the good news: there are ways to disagree with them respectfully and effectively. Here are some things you can say when the conversation is going south that allows you to assert your own voice, all while keeping the peace (or at least, a semblance of it).
1. “Maybe you’re right.”
The magic is in the “maybe.” It throws a tiny seed of doubt their way, a gentle reminder that even the most knowledgeable person might not have all the angles covered. It might just nudge them off their soapbox and open the door for a more balanced conversation. NBC News has other tips to keep the scales from tipping too far in one direction if you (or they!) need extra help in this department.
2. “Let’s focus on this situation.”
If you’re fighting with someone who thinks they’re right about everything, they might drag previous issues or conflicts into the argument to win. This can intensify the drama and frustration, so bring them back to the current situation by gently reminding them that you should be solely focusing on it to keep fighting fair.
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3. “Got you.”
You don’t have to agree with the person if what they’re saying totally conflicts with what you think. That’s why a phrase like, “Got you” or “Gotcha” can help. You’re saying you’re hearing them, but not in a way that makes them think you agree with them. In fact, the brevity here can let them know that you’re not pleased with how they’re acting.
4. “I see it differently.”
It might help the other person for you to remind them that your POV is the polar opposite of theirs, and that’s okay. It shouldn’t be such a wild idea for you to have a different opinion — and it doesn’t automatically make theirs right and yours wrong, either!
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5. “That’s cool.”
If the person seems stuck in their idea of what they think is right, you might feel like you’re slamming your head into a concrete wall because you can’t make them understand what you mean. Don’t take on their drama. Say something generic like, “That’s cool” and move on. As Forbes notes, it’s important to choose your battles. Nine times out of 10, fights with a hard-headed person who always think they’re right aren’t worth it.
6. “Can I tell you what I think?”
You’ve heard what they had to say, now it’s your turn to express yourself. Gently ask the person if you can share your opinions or thoughts with them. This is a kind way to try to get them to open their mind and ears to a different idea.
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7. “Let’s explore some different possibilities.”
If you’re working with someone who doesn’t want to remove their tunnel-vision lenses, it can be helpful to suggest exploring different possibilities on the topic at hand. They might react more positively to this than if you try to shut them down (although that can be good if they’re doing something like violating your boundaries).
8. “Two different ideas can be right!”
This is a great comeback for someone who thinks they’re always right because it gets the message across while being a kinder thing to say than something like, “I’m actually right, and you’re wrong!” It also keeps you humble during the interaction.
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9. “Are you sure?”
You can inject a bit of humor by grinning when you ask the person if they’re sure of what they’re saying. This is funny because they’re probably insisting just how right they are! Humor is always good to relieve some of the tension, especially during an argument with a know-it-all.
10. “I feel…”
For a more serious approach, you should tell the person how their feeling of being right makes you feel. For example, you could say something like, “I feel disregarded/disrespected when you say that you’re right and I’m wrong.” They might not even realize how they’re coming across, and an honest conversation could be enough to change their behavior.
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11. “Let’s find a way to collaborate.”
To help you move past the issue, it can help you to focus on the bigger picture by finding a way to compromise or collaborate instead of arguing about who’s right or wrong.
12. “I think it’s cool that we have different interpretations.”
Instead of fighting about your different opinions, it’s good to keep things light and positive. You can do this by saying something like, “I love that we’re coming at this from totally different angles.” This hints that you’re willing to learn from the other person and hope they bring the same energy to the relationship.
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13. “But what are the facts?”
Sometimes, people who think they’re always right can go off on a tangent, like if they’re too busy mansplaining to listen to anyone else. A good way to challenge what they’re saying without being mean is to ask them about the facts. A simple question, such as, “What are the facts?” is enough to achieve this.
14. “Let’s agree to disagree.”
If you can’t reach a compromise or middle ground, a good comeback to end the conversation is to end things in a stalemate. This is your way of checking out of the conversation or debate without any hostility.
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15. Say nothing!
Of course, you always have the option of saying nothing and walking away. You could politely excuse yourself to exit the conversation so the person doesn’t keep bringing you down and making you feel stressed out. Let them remain stuck in their own way of thinking. You’re above it!
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