15 Things Men Do in Relationships That Women Secretly Hate

15 Things Men Do in Relationships That Women Secretly Hate

The idea that men are from Mars and women are from Venus is outdated and a bit cheesy, but the message behind it is pretty true. We operate in different ways and that means we sometimes do or say things that baffle the other gender. That being said, understanding each other’s varied approaches is a good way to find common ground, so without further ado, here are some things men do that women really hate.

1. Ignoring Texts and Calls

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Consistently ignoring messages or calls from your partner can create feelings of neglect and frustration. It’s not just about the act of not responding; it’s about the message it sends. It may convey a lack of interest or priority in the relationship. Women often appreciate timely responses, even if it’s just a quick acknowledgment that you’ll get back to them later. Ignoring messages can leave them feeling unheard and undervalued.

2. Flirting with Other Women

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Flirting with other women, even harmlessly, can lead to jealousy and insecurity in the relationship. While some level of harmless flirty banter can be normal, when it crosses a line or becomes a pattern, it can totally destroy the trust between you. Women may feel uncomfortable or threatened when their partner flirts with others, and it can make them question the commitment and loyalty in the relationship.

3. Making Decisions Without Consultation

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Making significant decisions without consulting your partner can make them feel left out or powerless in the relationship. Relationships thrive on collaboration and shared decision-making. When one person consistently takes control without considering the other person’s input, it can lead to feelings of exclusion and resentment. Women often appreciate being part of the decision-making process and having their opinions valued.

4. Comparing to Exes


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Constantly comparing your partner to exes, whether in appearance or behavior, can be hurtful and damaging to their self-esteem. No one wants to feel like they’re in competition with a ghost from the past. Those kinds of comparisons can make women feel like they don’t measure up or that they’re being unfairly judged. It’s important to appreciate your partner for who they are without constantly referencing past relationships.

5. Canceling Plans Last Minute

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Frequently canceling plans or changing them at the last minute can make your partner feel like their time isn’t valued. It’s not just about the inconvenience of rearranging schedules; it’s about the message it sends about priorities. Women appreciate reliability and commitment. When plans are always moved or dropped, it can lead to frustration and the feeling that they’re not a priority in your life.

6. Forgetting Important Dates

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Consistently forgetting special occasions like anniversaries or birthdays can make your partner feel unappreciated. These dates usually hold sentimental value and are an opportunity to show love and appreciation. Forgetting them can be (and usually is) seen as a lack of effort or care. Women may secretly dislike this because it can make them question whether their partner values the relationship.

7. Focusing Solely on Physical Intimacy

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Prioritizing physical intimacy over emotional connection can lead to feelings of being objectified rather than loved for who they are. Women usually desire emotional intimacy and connection in a relationship. When the focus is solely on physical aspects, it can make them feel like their emotional needs are being overlooked or ignored. It’s really important to balance all types of intimacy for a healthy relationship.

8. Not Acknowledging Efforts

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Failing to acknowledge or express gratitude for your partner’s efforts in the relationship can make them feel unimportant or even taken for grnated. Everyone wants to feel appreciated and recognized for their contributions. When the things they do or gestures they make go unnoticed or unacknowledged, it can lead to feelings of frustration and unfulfillment. Women appreciate when their efforts are valued and reciprocated. Who doesn’t?

9. Not Taking Responsibility

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Avoiding responsibility for your mistakes or blaming your partner for relationship issues can lead to frustration and resentment. Taking responsibility and being accountable for one’s actions is a fundamental aspect of a healthy relationship. When one person consistently deflects blame or avoids admitting fault, it can create a toxic dynamic. Women often dislike this behavior because it stands in the way of good communication and working through problems.

10. Not Making an Effort to Understand

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Not even trying to understand your partner’s perspective, feelings, or needs can create a sense of emotional distance and disconnect in the relationship. Empathy and active listening are crucial for making emotional intimacy possible. When one person consistently dismisses or disregards their partner’s point of view, it can lead to feelings of being unheard and unvalued. Women appreciate partners who make an effort to understand and validate their feelings and experiences.

12. Always Needing to Be Right

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Consistently needing to be right in every argument can lead to frustration and a sense of invalidation. Healthy discussions involve mutual respect and the acknowledgment that both perspectives have value. Women may find it exhausting when their partner’s need to win every argument takes precedence over the harmony and growth of the relationship, as it can hinder open communication.

13. Not Paying Attention to Details

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Not paying attention to important details or forgetting significant events can make women feel like their partner isn’t fully invested in the relationship. Remembering and showing interest in the details of each other’s lives is a sign of care and affection. Women may secretly dislike feeling unimportant or overlooked when their partner consistently neglects important aspects of their shared life.

14. Withholding Affection as Punishment

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Using affection or intimacy as a form of punishment during disagreements can create emotional distance and erode trust. It’s essential to communicate and resolve issues rather than resort to emotional manipulation. Women may feel hurt and unloved when their partner withholds affection, as it sends the message that love is conditional and contingent on compliance.

15. Criticizing Their Appearance

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Consistently criticizing a partner’s appearance, even if meant as a joke, can lead to self-esteem issues and resentment. Women want to feel accepted and loved for who they are, not constantly judged based on their looks. Women may secretly dislike feeling that their partner’s love is superficial, focused solely on their physical appearance rather than their character and personality.

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Brad grew up in St. Louis and moved to California to attend Berkeley College of Music, where he graduated with a bachelor's degree in Music Production and Engineering. He still plays in a band on the weekend and during the week does a lot of writing and coffee-making to pay the bills. He's also been married for 7 years now, so he figures he must be doing something right.