Ever been told to “just let it go” when you’re upset, or “focus on the bright side” when dealing with something truly difficult? While they’re usually well-intentioned, these phrases are prime examples of toxic positivity. This relentless cheerfulness isn’t always helpful, and it’s really important to allow yourself to feel all the feelings — yes, even the messy ones. Here are some of the worst phrases these “glass half full” types love to spout.
1. “Good vibes only!”
This doesn’t just sound kind of dumb, but it also dismisses the full spectrum of human emotion. Life isn’t some cutesy motivational poster – it’s okay to feel angry, sad, frustrated, and messy sometimes. Suppressing those genuine feelings isn’t healthy and can lead to bigger emotional problems down the road.
2. “Stay positive!”
This is easier said than done, especially when your life is in total shambles. Telling someone to simply cheer up feels dismissive, like your struggles aren’t valid. It’s okay to acknowledge when things suck because that honest acknowledgment is the first step toward finding solutions or working through those tough feelings.
3. “Everything happens for a reason.”
No, it really doesn’t. This can feel insulting when you’re facing serious loss, trauma, or injustice. It minimizes your pain and implies there’s some grand cosmic plan you’re just not privy to. Sometimes bad things happen without a tidy, comforting meaning attached. Sometimes life is just awful, end of story.
4. “Don’t worry, be happy.”
Again, this invalidates real emotions. Worry is a normal human response, and often serves a purpose – it can motivate you to take action, prepare, or address problems head-on. Trying to force happiness when you’re legitimately anxious can lead to guilt and shame when it inevitably doesn’t work.
5. “Just manifest it!”
While visualizing your goals and staying positive while going after them is helpful, this oversimplifies what achievement is really all about. It ignores real obstacles like systemic disadvantage or plain bad luck. This mindset can make you feel like a failure when things don’t magically appear, even if you’ve worked hard.
6. “It could be worse.”
Yes, but it could also be better. I mean, come on! When “positive” people say this, it forces a sort of performative gratitude while invalidating your actual challenges. Perspective is important, but that doesn’t mean your current problems don’t matter or deserve attention and support.
7. “Let it go.”
Sometimes you need to feel your feelings before you can truly move on. Forcing yourself to “let it go” before processing your anger, sadness, or hurt just buries those emotions. They tend to fester internally, and they end up impacting your future relationships and choices.
8. “Toxic people…”
Labeling everyone who disagrees with you, has a bad day, or offers critical feedback as “toxic” is lazy and dismissive. It shuts down honest conversations and prevents growth. Sometimes what feels like a “bad vibe” is really just a much-needed clash of perspectives that could help you see things differently.
9. “Sending good energy!”
Thanks, you guess? This sounds kind, but it’s incredibly passive. If you actually care about someone who’s struggling, offer practical help, listen with empathy, or even just keep them company. Vague “good energy” can feel performative and insincere when not backed up by meaningful action.
10. “Everything is fine!”
Bottling up emotions isn’t healthy or a sign of strength. Pretending you’re fine when you’re struggling blocks genuine connection and prevents you from getting the support you need. It also doesn’t help you actually work through the problem causing those difficult feelings.
11. “The universe has your back. “
This implies that if anything bad happens, you failed to be positive enough, or didn’t send out the right vibes. It robs you of agency and promotes self-blame. Life’s unpredictable – sometimes bad stuff happens even to optimistic, hard-working people.
12. “Love and light!”
When someone uses this flippantly, often in online comment sections, it feels like a cheap way to write off people’s legitimate problems. True love and light doesn’t mean glossing over the hard stuff in life. It involves showing up lovingly for yourself and others when the going gets rough, even when it’s not pretty.
13. “What you focus on, you attract.”
The Law of Attraction is not useful when the proverbial crap is hitting the fan. Instead, it places the blame squarely on your shoulders when bad things happen. It makes any negativity, doubt, or simple realism seem like a personal failing that brings about tragedy. This kind of thinking is a recipe for anxiety and shame.
14. “It is what it is.”
Sometimes, that’s true. But a persistently positive person doesn’t simply resign themselves to a bad situation. This phrase can become an excuse for passivity and learned helplessness. True optimism is about seeing what CAN be changed and taking action, even if it starts with small steps.
15. “But look at the bright side…”
Forced, relentless optimism, especially in the face of serious struggle, feels hurtful and dismissive. Trying to rush someone through their pain process isn’t helpful, and won’t magically create a positive mindset. Sometimes, you just need to let those big emotions wash over you.
Enjoyed this piece? Give us a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
