Let the haters hate! Good guys — the patient, quietly influential ones — finish first. Will the finish line look as glorious by the world’s fast-paced, often selfish standards? Probably not. But can these men look themselves in the mirror and be proud of who they are? Absolutely. Do they change lives? You bet. Here are some of the qualities they have that truly set these guys apart.
1. He’s humble.
Quietly influential men don’t need all the fanfare. They are humble and willing to do all the hard work without demanding a parade be held in their honor. Guys like this are hyped by ethics, passion, and perseverance—not a need to be seen and recognized by others.
2. He’s true to his convictions.
As I said, ethics are a top priority for quietly influential men. They have a strict personal code often crafted by experience, mentors, or their faith. Since their values aren’t surface-level, these men not only have a sense of morality, but they remain loyal to their convictions.
3. He’s willing to apologize.
The kind of men who make a good difference, who compel others to change for the better, lead by example–especially when it comes to apologizing. Quietly influential men are willing to fess up when they are in the wrong and humbly ask for forgiveness.
4. He’s always goal-setting.
These men are achievers who not only set personal goals but work hard (without cutting corners or undermining others) to make big things happen for others. They understand that life is a gift and shouldn’t be wasted on laziness or a lack of vision.
5. He won’t accept mere daydreaming.
Men who make a positive impact on the world are more than dreamers. They give their dreams legs, taking intentional action toward fulfilling goals. Though they are quiet and often prefer to go unnoticed, they encourage others to be proactive in reaching their dreams too.
6. He’s willing to go the extra mile.
If asked to go one mile, they go two. Quietly influential men don’t settle for meeting the bare minimum. They want to do their best in all things without diving into perfectionism and expecting the impossible from themselves and others.
7. He’s consistent.
Just as they go the extra mile for one project, they do for another. They are consistent in maintaining excellence. They don’t measure success by accolades and trophies but by being faithful in the small, routine disciplines that make a big difference.
8. He’s loyal.
Quietly influential men are a lot like golden retrievers. Trust me on this one. They stick by your side (no matter what kind of mood you’re in), whatever they chase after they will reach, and no matter what kind of prize they find, they want to bring it back to you. At the end of the day, no matter how much praise they get at the office, the gym, or wherever else they are, these men want to come home to the loving family their loyalty has created.
9. He actively works with mentors.
Influential people are often influenced by others first because they care more about making a difference in the lives of others than protecting their egos. People who make a difference in the lives of others must make a big difference in their personal lives, growing up, doing hard things, being uncomfortable, etc. They value mentors and actively work with them in all phases of life.
10. He takes criticism maturely.
Just as quietly influential men value mentors, they value the productive criticism they receive from others. They understand that the only way to succeed in life is to admit failure and adopt new methods to make big things happen. Does this mean they enjoy criticism? Absolutely not. No human does. However, when others criticize them, their response isn’t laced with combative, temper-driven decisions.
11. He helps who’s next.
Since quietly influential men value mentors and use their criticism to change their lives for the good, they see value in becoming mentors for someone else. They appreciate the advice and guidance they have received and want to gift that wisdom to another young man or woman who has the heart to influence the world.
12. He’s not easily intimidated by others.
It’s the classic prince-versus-dragon theme. For every good guy, there’s a bad guy who doesn’t want kindness and truth to prevail. Quietly influential men tend to come up against others who are often fueled by jealousy or bitterness and want to destroy their progress. But the good guys aren’t easily intimidated and don’t allow opposition to deter them from doing what’s right.
13. He doens’t allow jealousy to control his decisions.
Quietly influential men value the difference they can make in the lives of others and won’t give up such an opportunity to jealousy. Sure, they might wish they had a certain college degree, bank account, or family clout to help them along the way, but they keep these wishes in check, not allowing jealousy to root in their hearts and make them someone they’re not.
14. He steps away from the fanfare.
These guys won’t ask for a parade, but if someone else throws one for them, they’ll pull every excuse they can to back away. They don’t want the confetti and banners and cheers. They do the hard, good things because of who they are, not so they will reap a “Look at me!” reward.
15. He commits to the long-haul.
Whether it’s a girl saying she won’t get married until she’s finished with college, or it’s a boss saying he won’t get the promotion until he’s spent so many years at the company, quietly influential men commit for the long haul. They don’t allow impatience and a need to rush to make their decisions for them. They know what’s worth the wait and will remain loyal to those things til the end.
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