15 Ways To Learn To Truly Love Being Single When It’s A Struggle

It’s important to actually enjoy being single and on your own before you go looking for love. You’ve heard it time and time again but it’s easier said than done. Here’s what you need to do to get to a good place with your singlehood:

  1. Figure out difficult things on your own. Whether it’s solving computer problems, putting that annoying Ikea bed together, or doing your taxes, doing it completely on your own is empowering. No calling the men in your life, your parents, or anyone else. When you feel capable, you’ll be less likely to get lonely or miss your ex when something goes wrong.
  2. Develop a routine for nights alone. Single people tend to crave those relaxing nights in with a special someone, so why not have them by yourself? When we’re on our own, we tend to aimlessly read Buzzfeed articles and take five hours to pick something on Netflix before passing out. Instead, make it an event. Light some candles, put on some music, drink some tea, and read a good book. Maybe even make it a spa night with masks and scrubs.
  3. Explore a new hobby. Find a new passion and throw yourself into it. It should be something that you look forward to doing. Hobbies are also a great way to meet other people. Even if you’re new interest is a solitary activity, there are plenty of Meetup groups where you can meet others who share that interest.
  4. Work on your friendships the way you would a relationship. Now’s the perfect time to deepen your friendships. Make plans and often. Rather than just going out to the usual bars or brunch, try to bond on a deeper level. Have sleepovers where you talk all night or take a weekend trip.
  5. Can’t stop swiping? Switch to Bumble BFF. Rather than going on lots of dates just to fill a void, switch from Tinder to Bumble BFF. Stop desperately trying to find a new man and start going on friend dates. It can be awkward at first but it’s so worth it.
  6. Embrace doing “social” activities on your own. There are certain things that many of us are afraid to do on our own. So if we can’t find someone else to join us, we just stay home. Instead, take yourself on a restaurant date, go to the movies, have a solo picnic on the beach, or even hit up an amusement park. Oh, and put down the phone while you’re at it!
  7. Work on yourself. It’s really difficult to focus on self-improvement when you’re in a relationship. Now that you have the time, try meditation, practice yoga, read some self-help books, and go to therapy. Work on your issues. Grow. Be happy.
  8. Get your body moving. Working on your physical self is just as important as working on your inner self. In fact, being physically fit can improve your mental health. Most people are happiest when they treat their bodies well. Yet, it’s often difficult to make time for healthy eating and exercise when you’re in a relationship. Set the framework for a balanced lifestyle now.
  9. Reevaluate your career. Are you happy with where your career path is headed? Do you like your job? If the answer is no, then take some time to think and make a plan to change your situation. Seek out a mentor, take on new tasks at work, or ask for a promotion.
  10. Work on your bucket list. Do the things that you want to do. Write a book, go skydiving, or go on a road trip. No compromises necessary. While you’re at it, you should take those cooking classes, learn salsa dancing, and watch all those rom-coms your ex couldn’t stand.
  11. Travel often. Likewise, go to all of the places you’ve always wanted to visit. Travel is something that’s way better on your own. No fights and you’ll appreciate the freedom and solitude.
  12. Live on your own for a while. If you can afford it, get your own apartment with no roommates. It’s so much fun to decorate your own place and the freedom of dancing around naked is awesome. Appreciate this luxury while you still can.
  13. Become financially independent. Another way to feel empowered is to get your finances in order. Take a cue from Destiny’s Child. Learn how to budget, develop a side-hustle, and start investing.
  14. Be spontaneous. Try saying “yes” to everything for a while. After all, you don’t have to run your decisions by anyone else right now. Move to a new city, get a pet, or embark on an adventure. You can do virtually anything at the drop of a hat.
  15. Practice gratitude. Recognize how great it is to be single right now. You’re fully living life before settling down and one day you can look back without having regrets. And you’re learning enough about yourself to be absolutely sure that you’ll pick the right guy when the day comes. Plus, you’ll have the tools and self-esteem necessary for a healthy relationship.
Danielle is a world-traveler based in San Diego, California. She loves hiking, yoga, classic movies, and sharing her adventures on her blog shepowersthrough.com