Of all the people you’ll date in your life, finding someone who truly deserves you will be like looking for a needle in a haystack. There will be those who’ll measure up in many ways, but finding someone who really has your best interest at heart and is on par with you in all the ways that matter isn’t always easy. Because of this, sometimes we tend to hang on longer than we should when it’s just not right. It can be hard to see clearly when you’re in the midst of a relationship, and although that may be the case, if you’re aware of the red flags, maybe you can get out before it’s too late. Here are the 16 signs that the person you’re dating just doesn’t deserve you.
He makes you doubt yourself.
A partner is supposed to support you, so your doubts are limited. Instead, you often wonder what the hell you’re doing with your life, which is never a good sign.
You don’t feel like equals.
Whether it’s because he puts you down or you feel he doesn’t measure up to your expectations of him, if you don’t feel like you’re on the same page, that’s something to consider.
He’s critical of your dreams and goals.
All dreams, no matter how silly or impossible, should be respected and nurtured. If someone doesn’t respect your dreams, then they don’t respect you either.
He’s too focused on himself.
It’s one thing to be self-absorbed, but it’s another thing when that self-absorption spills over into totally dominating the relationship. It’s not always about you, but it’s not always about him, either.
You’ve caught him in more than one lie.
Lying is a big sign that you’re either dealing with a fraud or someone who’s just too weak to face you. It also says they don’t have a very high opinion of you.
He puts other people before you.
It’s one thing if you’re equal in importance to their family and close friends, but you shouldn’t be second. No one should ever feel that they’re not a top priority for their partner.
You don’t know the last time you felt challenged by him
. Couples need to challenge each other in positive ways. It’s not only healthy, but keeps things alive and kicking.
You feel like you’re giving more than he is.
If there’s a big imbalance in how much they give and how you give, it simply means he’s not invested as much as you. You want someone who’s giving it his all and not being just half-assed about you or your relationship.
You find yourself changing who you are for him
. It’s normal to change a bit in a relationship, as a means to adapt, but you should never lose yourself completely. If your partner has forced you to change your values or opinions, run.
He has a habit of breaking your trust.
It’s not even just about lying, but the little stuff, too. If you go out of town and you ask him to watch your cat, you need to be able to trust that he’ll do it. Broken trust can rarely be repaired.
He doesn’t have your back.
It’s okay to disagree, but if he doesn’t take your side when it’s so clear that your side is the one to take, that’s not cool.
He belittles you both in private and in front of strangers.
Belittling means there is no respect for you at all. If they take that disrespect and exhibit in front of others, they’re just making a fool out of you.
He makes you feel inferior.
People who make those they claim to love feel inferior are dealing with their own issues and hang-ups. You’re better than that. To quote Eleanor Roosevelt, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Don’t give them that consent.
You’ve developed insecurities that weren’t there before.
When someone is are constantly down on you, he will eventually break you. It’s in that breaking point that insecurities arise and your self-worth plummets. That is not the sign of a healthy relationship.
He’s cheated on you.
I mean… come on. This should just be a given. If someone cheats, he sure as hell does’t even deserve to know you exist, let alone have you in his life.
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