You said you’d meet your friends for brunch but you had to cancel because “something came up”… for the third time in a row. You said you were excited to go to a rock concert with your boyfriend, but then you bailed at the last minute. Are you a flake with your loved ones? Here are 16 signs people just can’t rely on you.
1. You arrive late to everything.
You’re always so late to every commitment that your friends will get to the location 15 minutes after the time you set. They know you’re going to run late and leave everyone waiting, so they’re trying to stay ahead of your irritating lack of punctuality. If they’re planning a party that starts at 8 o’clock, they always tell you it starts at 7 so that you show up on time.
2. You’re non-committal.
When your friend or partner texts you to find out if you’d like to go bowling or to see a movie, you never give them a straight answer. You’ll say something like, “Maybe!” or “I’ll have to let you know.” You can never just say yes to something because you don’t know how you’re going to feel (or what you’ll be doing) on the day.
3. You’re always keeping your options open.
You sometimes feel stressed about all the options you have at your disposal. It’s why you won’t give a straight answer for weekend plans. You like to leave things to the last minute because you’re afraid something better will come along. You suffer from “grass is greener” syndrome and it’s really irritating.
4. You fall behind with deadlines.
It’s tough for you to stay organized and on track with looming deadlines. You’re curious and tend to want to do more exciting things. Even though you promised your boss you had everything under control, you’ll have to call someone for help when you start freaking out about how you’ve been procrastinating.
5. You forget details.
Sometimes important details tend to slip out of your mind. You’ll order takeout for yourself and your friend but forget that they’re allergic to meat, or you’ll forget your friend’s birthday (for the second year in a row). There’s so much going on in your head that it’s making you a hot mess!
6. You’re quick to make promises.
You might have the best intentions when promising your friend you’ll babysit for her on the weekend or promising your boyfriend you’ll have quality time together. Unfortunately, when the time comes, something else crops up and you end up disappointing everyone.
7. You love being spontaneous.
You’re a spontaneous person who loves doing things on the fly, so you’ll call your friend and invite them out for dinner — but they have to leave in 10 minutes. Yikes. Although spontaneity can be fun, it can be taxing on your loved ones who feel like you only hang out with them when you’ve got nothing else going on.
8. You’re led by your mood.
Sometimes you can be really inconsistent. You’re unpredictable and it’s because you’re led by your mood. So, if you’re in a good place mentally and emotionally, your behavior will be completely different compared to when you’re down in the dumps. You might reply to your friends’ messages promptly and be keen to stick to plans… for today.
9. You’re a big apologizer.
You feel bad when you bail on plans with friends and disappoint people you love, so you tend to go all out with the apologies, even buying them flowers to make them realize how much you regret your actions. Unfortunately, within no time, you’re repeating the same old behavior.
10. You don’t check in with friends.
Your friend told you she was going to the dentist and was freaked out about the appointment. Or, your girlfriend said she was worried about an upcoming work project. You might forget all about it, with the result that you don’t check in on them and they feel like you don’t care.
11. You’re not easy to trust.
It might hurt your feelings when people say that they can’t trust you, but it makes sense, especially if you’ve said you’d be there for them but then at the last minute, you told them you had to take a rain check. They need to feel they can rely on your support, and right now they don’t.
12. You say “yes” when you don’t want to do things.
One of the biggest signs that you’re a flaky person is if you agree to do things that you don’t want to do. Your people-pleasing tendency is what gets you into trouble. Agreeing to the event or get-together was a bad idea from the start — it would’ve been better, to be honest!
13. You’re suffering from social anxiety, but no one knows.
There could be a good reason why you’re so flaky — you’re suffering from social anxiety. This can cause you to bail on plans and commitments because panic attacks are getting in the way. But, instead of telling others about it, you hide it and seem like a liar or fake person.
14. You’re easily distracted.
You’re flaky because you’re easily distracted. So, you might get lost in a new Netflix show and forget that your friend’s coming over. Or, you might be surprised by a call from your crush and neglect your family get-together. This could be a sign of a mental health disorder, such as Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD).
15. You overcommit yourself to everything.
Since you’re prone to forgetting your commitments, you might try to mesh them together so you keep everyone happy. So, you might meet your friend for coffee in a mall where you’re supposed to be shopping for jeans with your other friend. It’s a lot to juggle everything and it makes your friends feel like chores you have to get through.
16. You love popping in at the last minute.
Your friend invited you to a dinner party at her house. You can’t be there for the whole thing, but instead of canceling, you pitch up really late, like when the guests have already left. What gives? You might think doing this is better than canceling, but it’s insulting and tells your friends they’re not your priority.
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