If you’re stuffing your feelings down and trying not to acknowledge them, they’re not going to go away — they’re going to continue building up until you face them. Before that happens, they could wreck your relationships. If you’re suppressing your emotions — like by pretending you don’t care when you feel too much, for example — it’s time to face them so you can lead a more satisfying life. Here are some signs it’s time to delve a bit deeper.
1. You don’t talk about what matters to you.
Sharing the things you love or are interested in can make you feel vulnerable, especially if you grew up around people who were always telling you that your interests or feelings didn’t matter. You might try to hide your true passions and desires from those around you so you don’t risk rejection, but the people who love you will embrace you no matter what.
2. You say you’re fine when you’re not.
You might tell your partner you’re fine even though their comment was hurtful. Or, maybe you pretend to be “all good” even though your friends are annoying you. You’re trying to avoid your feelings because you’re scared of conflict or want other people’s approval.
3. You spend time with people 24/7 to avoid being alone.
You might want to spend more time around other people so you don’t have to process your feelings when you’re on your own. Time to yourself without any distractions can make you panic because you don’t want to be overwhelmed by your emotions. The thing is, alone time to reflect and recalibrate is incredibly important if you want to grow as a person.
4. You go along with whatever situation you find yourself in.
If you don’t express your feelings, you probably don’t focus on what you want. This means you’ll go along with what your friends or partners want to do to seem chill and laid-back, even if you’re really not feeling it. It’s time to stop and ask yourself if you’re really happy or just going through the motions.
5. You’re a “yes” person.
You might say “yes” to everything because you don’t want to rock the boat by expressing what you truly think. The danger of this is that you’re not in tune with what you feel and want out of life. You’re losing yourself to what other people want, and who wants to live that kind of life?
6. You hate being asked what you feel.
When someone’s interested in your passions, likes and dislikes, or what you think about someone else, you might feel anxious because you don’t want to express your true feelings. Or, perhaps you don’t really know what you feel because you’ve repressed your feelings so much that it’s made you numb.
7. You don’t understand why you’re feeling certain things.
If you don’t take time to explore your feelings, you probably don’t understand why you’re feeling them. For example, if you burst into tears, you might not know where it’s coming from. Are you sad, angry, or frustrated? You have no idea! You’re so used to compartmentalizing that you’re never sure of what to do when you can’t stuff your emotions down anymore.
8. You feel uncomfortable when people are very emotional.
Hanging around with highly emotional or sensitive people can be upsetting or uncomfortable for you. It’s not easy to deal with open and transparent expressions of emotion when you’re covering yours up all the time. You might not know what to say or how to navigate the situation, which is uncomfortable for everyone.
9. You view strong emotions as a bad thing.
If someone gets angry or bursts into tears, you tend to view the emotions as negative. You probably do this with your own feelings, too. It could be that as a child you were shouted at for crying or expressing anger so you’ve learned to hide it. Or, maybe you’ve somehow developed the incorrect idea that being emotional means being weak. This is totally misguided!
10. You try to be laid-back all the tiem.
You might try to be seen as carefree and fun to be around all the time. Maybe you’re trying to seem happy and well-adjusted so you’re not asked about your feelings, you prefer hanging around with people who are superficial connections so you don’t have to worry about heavy or emotional conversations. Either way, you’re missing out on deep and rewarding connections.
11. You hardly ever open up to people.
Maybe it takes you a long time to open up and be honest with people, but if it’s even a struggle to express yourself and show your inner truth to the people you’re closest to and who you can trust to listen without judgment, there’s a serous problem. This can keep people at an emotional distance, but this is working to your detriment.
12. You laugh during stressful situations.
Although humor can be a good way to deal with stressful situations, if everyone around you is sad or stressed out and you’re cracking jokes, this could be a sign that you’re suppressing your feelings because they make you uncomfortable.
13. You have a fear of emotional intimacy.
If you’re not in touch with your feelings (or simply don’t want to confront them), it can make your relationships challenging. You might be scared of getting too close to your partner, so you avoid talking about emotional topics or having conversations in which you share your innermost wants and desires.
14. You hold onto grudges.
Holding onto grudges hurts you in so many ways. All those negative emotions you’re carrying around can do a real number on you. You might think that the grudge is an expression of your anger or frustration for the other person, but instead it’s acting like a weight that will drown you in the end. You’re not working through it, so you’re not learning from it.
15. You’re passive-aggressive.
Your emotional suppression could be making you passive-aggressive. Instead of expressing what you think or feel, you insist you’re okay while sending your partner or friend cues that you’re actually not. This makes communication a huge challenge and can push people away. It’s time to make a change, don’t you think?
Enjoy this piece? Give it a like and follow Bolde on MSN for more!
