When you’re in a relationship, you probably don’t even think about how much time you’re spending with your partner, but chances are it’s a lot. That’s normal and makes sense, of course, especially when you’re still in the honeymoon phase and can’t get enough of each other. However, it’s important to remember that you still need alone time in a relationship, probably even more so than when you were single. Here’s why it’s such a big thing.
- You can’t pour from an empty cup. In order to be a good partner, parent, friend, colleague, etc. you need to be fulfilled personally. You need to be in a good place physically, mentally, and emotionally, and you can’t be if you’re constantly giving your time and energy to everyone else but yourself. In order to be the best partner possible, you need alone time to decompress, process, and recharge your batteries. It won’t kill you to be away from your partner for a few hours or even a few days. In fact, it’ll likely make your relationship that much better.
- You have interests and hobbies that are different from your partner’s. Your partner is into football or stamp collecting while you’re into kickboxing and watercolor painting. That’s cool – don’t give up your unique hobbies and interests for each other because you don’t need to. Taking alone time in your relationship gives you an opportunity to practice and enjoy all the things you love that maybe your partner does. Don’t ever sacrifice that.
- You need your own life. It’s all very well that “I” has become “we” and that you’re operating as a unit on most things. It’s great to feel supported and like you’re part of a team. However, you have to have your own thing away from your partner for self-preservation purposes if nothing else. What happens if the relationship ended for whatever reason? Without taking alone time to firmly establish yourself and your life, you could find yourself up s**t’s creek without a paddle, as the old saying goes.
- You don’t want to forget who you are outside of your relationship. Not only do you need to have a life away from your partner for self-sufficiency but because people who completely lose their identity when they’re coupled up are kinda sad and gross. You don’t need to be attached at the hip 24/7 and believe me, the people in your life really don’t want you to be. By taking alone time in your relationship, you guarantee that you’ll retain your individuality, and this is vital.
- You’ll end up getting sick of each other if you don’t take time apart. If you want to get down to brass tax, this is a biggie. People who spend every waking second with each other might think it’s great at first, but eventually they get really annoyed and even resentful when they realize they’re getting sick of seeing the same person and no one else and that they’ve sacrificed their old life for the sake of a relationship. It’s possible to strike a balance – make it a priority to do so.