While you might think the person who’s throwing you shade is just being mean, there’s a possibility that they’re holding a grudge against you. They might think that you’ve done something to hurt them and they can’t let it go. They’re carrying it around, holding it over you, and it’s making them treat you badly. You’re left wondering, “What did I do to hurt this person?” While you’re trying to figure it out, here are 10 phrases someone who’s holding a grudge against you is likely to say.
1. “No Worries.”
You mention that you’re not going to be able to help the person with something or attend their birthday party, and they say, “No worries.” But, here’s the thing: it’s said in a way that feels like they’re dismissing you or they don’t actually care about you not being there for them. Someone who’s holding a grudge might try not to show you that they’re angry with you, without realizing it’s on show big time.
2. “Can’t Make It.”
Someone holding a grudge will go AWOL on you when you’re happy. Clearly, they’re not keen on being around you or celebrating with you when you achieve something. They don’t want to be around you, so they’ll use phrases like, “Sorry, can’t make it” to get out of situations involving you as much as they can without it seeming weird. Hmmm. Is it a punishment so you can ask them what’s up?
3. “You Don’t Get It.”
Someone who holds a grudge against you feels misunderstood. They think you’re being mean/critical/unfair, even if you’re not. They’ll tell you, “You don’t get it,” when they try to explain something to you, like if you ask why their mood has taken a dive. It’s a way of taking a dig at you. Not only do they feel that you’re not understanding what they’re trying to say but you don’t “get” the larger issue at play.
4. “Ridiculous.”
A grudge holder might throw little jabs at you to break you down. So, if you express something you feel, they’ll say, “Ridiculous.” They won’t explain why they’re making such comments, but they’ll leave them hanging over your head so you can ruminate over them. They want you to be second-guessing yourself and to wonder what they’re thinking about you.
5. “I’m So Busy.”
Sometimes, the person holding a grudge against you is a so-called friend. You might have good times with them, so it’s weird when you feel like you’re getting close to them but then they shut you down by claiming to be “too busy.” Like, when you ask them why they weren’t around when you were going through a tough time. Or, they might mention they’re “so busy” as a way to brag about how well they’re doing. It’s like they want to be friends, but something – the grudge! – holds them back.
6. “Wow, Well Done.”
When you achieve a goal and want to celebrate, the person who holds a grudge against you will fake a congratulations. They don’t want to see you succeed because they might be envious of you or they secretly don’t like you and want to bring you down. Ouch. Or, they might say “well done” in a sarcastic way, like if you make a mistake and don’t achieve what you want. It’s so sneaky!
7. “It’s Different.”
A grudge holder might want to say as little as possible around you, but they’ll throw little comments your way. The interesting thing is that they could dish you mean-spirited comments about things that have nothing to do with them, like your new hair color. So, they might look at your vibrant purple hair and say something like, “It’s different.” It’s their way of making you feel bad.
8. “That’s Not Fair.”
If the person seems angry over something you’ve said, this could hint at a deeper issue. But, they might insult you by making you feel like you’re in the wrong. What the heck? So, they might say, “That’s not fair” when you express an opinion they don’t agree with. Meanwhile, this isn’t even the issue at play – something bigger’s upsetting them but they don’t want to go there. They just want you to know you’re in the wrong.
9. “Fine.”
The grudge holder might accept your opinions or how you want to do things without arguing with you. But, the interesting thing is that saying, “Fine” doesn’t mean they’re on your side. It just means they’re done with the conversation and are shutting you down. And, they don’t ask you follow-up questions because they don’t actually care about what you think or feel. Yikes.
10. “I Don’t Know.”
A grudge holder might try to avoid you, so if you contact them about something at work or in your social circle, they might ask someone else to talk to you on their behalf. So, now you’ve got to deal with a third party, as though the person’s a celebrity. SMH. They’ll give you vague answers to your questions, such as “I don’t know” or “Maybe,” so they can get out of conversations and then get someone else to report back to you.
Like what you’ve read? Follow Bolde on MSN for more!
