16 Things Introverts Secretly Observe About Everyone They Meet

16 Things Introverts Secretly Observe About Everyone They Meet

You might think introverts are too caught up in their own heads to pay much attention to the world around them, but the truth is that we’re very observant. In fact, we tend to notice all the little things everyone around us misses. Here’s some of the stuff we pick up on that our more extroverted counterparts don’t.

1. Your energy levels

We can sense whether you’re a fellow introvert, a buzzing extrovert, or somewhere in between, and we adjust our interaction style accordingly. Sometimes, we feel drained by too much social stimulation, while other times a lively personality can recharge our social battery. Knowing your energy type helps us predict how a conversation might flow, and how much downtime we may need afterward.

2. If you’re genuine

Introverts are great at reading between the lines. We can spot realness (or a lack thereof) from a mile away. Insincerity creates a disconnect that we pick up on easily, leaving us a bit hesitant to trust. True connection comes much easier when we feel like you’re being your authentic self.

3. How comfortable you are in your own skin

There’s something magnetic about people who own who they are. We notice that confidence (or the insecurity beneath a facade). While introverts may not always exhibit outward bravado, quiet self-assuredness is deeply attractive to us. There’s a beauty in simply being yourself, and we quietly admire those who radiate it effortlessly.

4. Your subtle body language

The way you hold yourself, subtle facial expressions, fidgeting – these little cues tell us a lot about your mood. Introverts are often very attuned to non-verbal forms of communication. We might notice if your eyes light up during a particular topic, or if you avoid eye contact with a certain individual. We use these subtle observations to understand how you might truly be feeling.

5. Your listening skills (or lack of them)

serious looking guy sitting outside

Introverts value deep listening. We notice if you’re truly present in a conversation or just waiting for your turn to talk. Genuine listening means paying full attention without interrupting or trying to come up with a response while the other person is sharing. As introverts, we often like to think before we speak, so we appreciate the same courtesy from others.

6. How you treat other people

Handsome young man standing and posing in the streets of Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Respect and kindness (especially towards those less “powerful” than you) speak volumes to us about your character. Introverts often have a soft spot for those who seem overlooked or marginalized. We take note of how you interact with service staff, people of different backgrounds, and even animals. True character, for us, is revealed in those moments when you think no one’s paying attention.

7. Whether your words match your actions

We observe for consistency. Do you walk the talk, or are your actions at odds with your pretty speeches? Introverts tend to be skeptical of those who make grand promises but never follow through. For us, building trust comes from seeing your words consistently reflected in your behaviors. We’ll value reliability over charisma any day. And remember, actions truly do speak louder than words for us.

8. The little things you do

hipster with coffee crossing street

Small acts of thoughtfulness or generosity don’t go unnoticed by introverts. Did you offer to help a stranger? Hold the door open for someone with their hands full? Remember a detail about our lives from a previous conversation? While we might not always verbalize it, these small gestures of kindness resonate deeply with us. They show us a glimpse of your true character.

9. Moments where you let your guard down

We love catching glimpses of the real you — you know, the person behind any social masks. Introverts find beauty in vulnerability. Share a quirky interest with us, laugh a little too loudly, confess a silly fear – those moments make you relatable and endearing to us. It lets us know we’re not alone in our imperfect humanness.

10. Your interest in making deeper connections

We crave deep and meaningful conversations. We notice if you’re into small talk or genuinely interested in getting to know people. Introverts long to be seen and understood. If you ask inquisitive questions, actively listen to the answers, and share a little about your own inner world, we’ll feel a pull towards connecting more deeply with you. It’s in those honest exchanges that true connection blossoms.

11. How you handle uncomfortable situations

Do you stay calm and collected or lash out? Your reactions under pressure say a lot. Introverts tend to dislike unnecessary drama. We appreciate people who can face conflict or difficulties with a level head, seeking solutions rather than escalating the tension. Your ability to navigate difficulty with composure earns our respect.

12. If you talk mostly to impress

We introverts tend to focus on the content of conversations, not how fancy someone’s words are. Bragging, name-dropping, and constantly trying to one-up others get old fast for us. We’re more interested in honest exchanges of ideas than in listening to a polished monologue. We’re looking for substance, not superficiality.

13. The vibes you give off

It’s more than just body language. We pick up on those intangible ‘good vibes’ or a feeling of being slightly off. Introverts are often very sensitive to the energy of others. We can’t always put our finger on why, but we may feel inexplicably drawn to your calming presence or subtly uneasy around a certain person. Trust your intuition, introverts – it’s usually spot on.

14. Your sense of humor

Wit and clever observations are an introvert’s favorite. Are you making us laugh or cringe? A shared sense of humor can be a powerful bonding tool for introverts. We love finding people who get our slightly offbeat observations, sarcastic quips, or love of absurdist jokes. Laughter is a balm to the introverted soul.

15. Your openness to new ideas

Introverts love to learn. Do you shut down opposing views, or are you open to a different perspective? Rigidity of thought can be a major turn-off for us. Since we spend so much time in our heads, introverts love engaging with people who challenge our assumptions and introduce us to new ways of thinking. Keep an open mind, and you’ll always have a place in an introvert’s world.

16. How well you know yourself

Self-awareness is something introverts value tremendously. We see who’s on a journey of self-discovery and who isn’t. Introspection is at the heart of our nature, so we’re drawn to those who are similarly reflective. We appreciate when you can acknowledge your flaws, laugh at your quirks, and are open about your ongoing growth. The journey of self-understanding is a lifelong one, and introverts love to travel it with those willing to explore alongside them.

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Piper Ryan is a NYC-based writer and matchmaker who works to bring millennials who are sick of dating apps and the bar scene together in an organic and efficient way. To date, she's paired up more than 120 couples, many of whom have gone on to get married. Her work has been highlighted in The New York Times, Time Out New York, The Cut, and many more.

In addition to runnnig her own business, Piper is passionate about charity work, advocating for vulnerable women and children in her local area and across the country. She is currently working on her first book, a non-fiction collection of stories focusing on female empowerment.
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