Being in a relationship is a lot of hard work. While many people feel love should be natural and simple, the reality is that it’s just not. You may love someone with all of your heart and soul, but that doesn’t mean your relationship is going to be easy peasy. It’ll take a lot of dedication and effort to keep you and your partner happy. Here are some habits many happy couples do that you should try out for your own relationship.
1. Starting their day with each other.
Many couples who live together start their day off by saying good morning or wishing each other a good day at work. Making sure you check in with your partner in the morning sets their mood off right for the day moving forward. And, if you don’t live with your partner, sending a nice good morning text can be a huge game-changer, too.
2. Setting aside time just for each other.
Alone time can be hard to come by when you lead a super busy life, and if you have kids, it’s even harder. But, prioritizing alone time with just you and your partner is so important. This is the time when you get to truly connect, without the outside noise and the complications that everyday life can bring. Whether it’s watching a TV show together or going out to dinner, getting that one-on-one time can make a difference.
3. Celebrating the little things.
Birthdays and anniversaries are nice to celebrate, but the little things matter, too. Maybe your partner got a promotion at work, or maybe they finally accomplished something in their personal life they’ve been working towards for some time. Celebrate everything together so both you and your partner are reminded that you’re valued and loved.
4. Simply listening.
Sometimes, you need to vent. Other times, your partner needs to vent. Whether or not you feel invested in what they are saying, you should take the time to listen when your partner needs you. Listening is a skill, but it can also open your eyes to things you may not have known before. Maybe you assumed your partner was mad at you because they had been acting off, but if you listen, you may find out the real reason why they were acting off.
5. Apologizing—and meaning it.
Saying sorry is one thing, meaning it is another. If you argue with your partner and you can’t say you’re sorry and truly mean it, you’ll never get past the problem. Listening to each other and understanding what your real issues are is important and so is acknowledging when you’re wrong.
6. Communicating first.
Talking problems out is important if you want your relationship to last. Sure, while it’s easy to get angry and yell at someone, it’s much harder to sit down and face those problems head-on. But talking and communicating is the only way that couples can truly figure out their problems and move past them. Yelling and screaming never gets anyone anywhere.
7. Letting things go.
Once you’re past a problem, let it go. Successful couples talk them through, say they’re sorry, and then put it in the past. They know that if you hold onto a grudge for too long, it becomes resentment (which can then lead to distance in a relationship). Holding onto things is a surefire way to have your relationship fail right before your very eyes.
8. Accepting their partner’s friends and family.
Your partner had an entire life before they met you—including friends and family. You may not love everyone who’s in their (and now your) life, but it’s important to not isolate your partner from who’s important to them. Even if their friends annoy you, they mean something to your partner, and finding ways to get along is integral to making your relationship work.
9. Having their own hobbies and interests.
Sharing hobbies is good for any couple, but having your own is important too. You should always have something for you, as an individual, to keep you fulfilled and happy. Relying solely on your partner and your relationship to fill your time and keep you happy is unrealistic. Having something that is simply yours keeps you who you are, and makes sure that you can feel fulfilled both in and out of your relationship.
10. Putting down their phones.
So many of us have the habit of crawling into bed and immediately going on our phones to scroll through social media, answer emails, or even play a game. It can be super isolating to do so. Maybe your partner wants to talk about their day, but you’re too busy scrolling through social media. When you put your phones down, you’re giving each other your full attention and being actually present, rather than just existing under the same duvet.
11. Recognizing they are a team.
Whenever problems arise, it’s easy to be defensive. Many couples tend to fight because one person thinks “It’s you versus me” instead of “It’s us in this together.” Successful and happy couples realize that they’re on one team and do everything they can to live up to it. This way, when they do have issues, they look for what is best for the team instead of going at each other’s throats.
12. Being more physical.
And, that doesn’t mean just sex. Being physically affectionate with your partner can be holding hands, sharing a quick kiss in the kitchen while cooking, or even giving each other a huge bear hug at the end of the day. Physical affection releases oxytocin, a chemical that is known as the “bonding hormone” and makes you feel good.
13. Expressing gratitude often.
Many people feel like if you’re in a relationship with someone, they know that you love them, so you don’t have to say it as often. But, expressing your love and appreciation for your partner lets them know you really do care. Lots of people’s love language is “words of affirmation” and sharing that you truly are thankful for your partner can go a long way.
14. Making new traditions.
Celebrating big holidays and events is important, but it’s also sentimental when you make new traditions with your partner. Maybe every time you celebrate an anniversary, you go to the same restaurant you went to on your first date. Or, whenever you watch a new episode of the TV show you love, you make popcorn and wear comfy sweats on the couch. Traditions are not only fun, but they bond a couple and make them feel closer.
15. Checking in throughout the day.
Whether you’re both working separate jobs or you simply have busy days apart, checking in through a text or a quick call can change someone’s mood and the energy in your relationship. It shows that you’re thinking of your partner and care how their day is going.
16. Not keeping score.
Couples who live together may keep tabs on who’s washed the dishes, or who’s done the laundry, while couples who don’t live together may be keeping tabs on who pays for things, or who drove last. But that is a recipe for disaster—it only leads to resentment, especially if you feel things aren’t equal. Never keep a running tab on things in your mind, it will only make you angry.
17. Being proud of each other.
Being proud of your partner and your relationship is a huge must when you’re with someone long-term. Despite whatever problems you may face individually and as a couple, you should have pride in your love and how far you’ve come. Sharing how immensely proud you are to be your partner’s significant other can change the dynamic of your relationship—it shows the world you two are a united front, a true team, and an unbreakable one at that.
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