There’s no secret to maintaining a great relationship with your partner other than good old-fashioned hard work. That said, there are a few habits that a strong couple would never be caught dead doing. Avoiding these behaviors ensures their connection stays strong, healthy, and a whole lot more enjoyable.
1. Being passive-aggressive
It doesn’t take a genius to realize that avoiding talking about the real problem and being childish isn’t going to solve anything. Couples who are in it for the long haul know that it’s disrespectful to be passive-aggressive and that the mature thing is to have a real discussion about the problem.
2. Avoiding money talks
People who have been in a relationship together for a certain amount of time eventually come to share certain financial responsibilities such as paying rent, bills, and groceries. This means that they have to build a safe space and language to talk about shared finances, articulate their boundaries, and know the responsibility inherent in shared money. A strong couple would never make a huge purchase without discussing it first.
3. Neglect having time alone
In the early days of a relationship, it can take some time to get the right rapport to discuss personal space without feeling hurt or bottling up your feelings. Eventually, you get there, and a seasoned couple would never not communicate their need for space because they know that’s what avoids arguments in the long term.
4. Stop communicating
It can feel like there are always milestones to meet when it comes to communicating well, which makes sense because the people and the relationship are constantly evolving and their needs change as well. Just because you’ve figured out how to talk about finances or traveling in a productive way doesn’t mean that you don’t have to do the same when you think about your shared future, kids, and managing career goals!
5. Get “roommate syndrome”
This can be one of the great tragedies — when the honeymoon period is long since gone and you’re in the bed-death/roommate territory. This happens when you either first move in together, or when you just start taking each other for granted. Great couples would never get caught fizzling out and would always look for ways to reignite the sexual spark.
6. Miss date night
One habit that ensures a relationship stays strong and fresh is never missing a date night each month. It doesn’t have to be super expensive or flashy — it could be a trip to the movies or a homemade steak and wine night. Either way, if a couple isn’t in it for the long haul, constantly forgetting date night is a telltale sign of that fact.
7. Stay silent if they needed to be heard
Great couples would never stay quiet and let their emotions boil over and stew if they were angry or upset. They would value their partner’s response, and know that their partner would want to make things right. Staying silent is a sign a couple isn’t investing in the relationship anymore. You always need to communicate and confirm that you want the same things.
8. Be a “yes”-person
No great partner should ever just say ‘yes’ to everything their partner says. A partner who wants to see growth in their loved one, and grow together, would always challenge them if they needed to be pushed.
9. Lie to each other
Chronic liars – as it goes – make for pretty poor partners. Great couples know how to be totally transparent while refraining from trauma-dumping. Habits like asking if the other person is ready to have a challenging conversation are good tools.
10. Go to bed angry
Great couples would never go to bed angry because they know the value of compromise. Ego doesn’t have a place in a truly equal relationship, and being unable to put your ego aside is a sign of a shallow relationship that isn’t going to last.
11. Forget how to compromise
Compromise and communication are the key tenants of any strong relationship. Great couples would never be caught failing to compromise, because failing to do so shows that each person only wants to act in their own interest. Part of being a couple is managing each other’s priorities together.
12. Stop finding ways to surprise each other
Cute habits like “Friday flowers” or monthly date nights are more than just Instagram-worthy gestures — they’re the foundation of a strong relationship. Being able to surprise the person who you know best really future-proofs the relationship.
13. Have fights in public
Great couples do not live on Bravo, nor would their behavior fit in there. Couples who are constantly on-again, off-again, or live for the drama may get good ratings on a TV show but will never be in it for the long haul. Fighting in public when you could resolve it in private is never the vibe.
14. Gossip to their friends without talking to the partner first
We all need to relax with our friends and unwind sometimes – you should always be liberated to do that. However, if you’re spouting all your relationship problems to your friends, having not spoken to your partner about it, then you’re in trouble. A strong couple would always try to fix things first, then vent.
15. Stop seeing their friends
A well-rounded couple would never put limits on each other’s time or stop the other person from hanging out with friends. That would be a sign of insecurity that just isn’t present in a relationship that has a great foundation.
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