17 Signs You’re Dating A Control Freak

Does it sometimes feel like your boyfriend bosses you around more than your actual boss? Do you feel like you’re a little kid again, always having to ask permission and being punished when you don’t do something right? If you answered yes to either (or both) of those questions, you’re dating a control freak. If you still aren’t convinced, here are 17 other ways to tell:

  1. He checks your phone. And not just your call log and texts – he wants to know if you’ve been getting chatty with someone on Words with Friends, whose pictures you’ve been liking on Instagram, and if you ever deleted your Tinder app.
  2. He wants your password to everything. It’s not enough that you let him look through your phone to make sure you aren’t talking to any of your exes, now he wants the passwords to your email and social media accounts to make sure you aren’t doing anything online that he wouldn’t approve of.
  3. He’s always accusing you of lying. Just because you don’t want your privacy invaded doesn’t mean you have something to hide, but your unwillingness to cooperate to his search and seizures just makes him all the more suspicious.
  4. He always make the plans. You wanted to make plans with your friends for a change this weekend, but he isn’t having it. Like it or not, he’s your social coordinator, which means you’ll probably be hanging out with his friends again.
  5. He tells you what to eat. Maybe he’s super health conscious and disturbed by your poor eating habits, but if he’s trying to force his lifestyle on you (vegetarian, gluten-free, paleo, etc.), he’s crossing the line.
  6. He tells you what to wear. It’s one thing to tell someone when they look great in something, it’s a whole other thing when they demand you wear it… and even worse than that is telling someone what they can’t wear. If your partner freaks out every time you show a little cleavage, it’s probably time to use it to find their replacement.
  7. He doesn’t like your friends. And there’s really no reason for it because, duh, your friends are awesome. He’s just threatened that you’re telling your crew too much and that sooner or later they’re going to convince you to ditch the control freak.
  8. Nothing you do is good enough for him. Whenever he asks you to do something for him like iron his shirts, he always complains you didn’t do it right. Next time tell him to handle his own laundry and save yourself the grief.
  9. He freaks out every time you make a decision without him. You were stoked when you finally got out from under Mom and Dad’s wing and got to make your own decisions, so why are you now giving up those rights for some guy? You shouldn’t need to confer with someone whether or not you really need to buy those shoes, especially if you don’t have a joint bank account.
  10. He’s always offering his unsolicited advice. You respect and appreciate his advice when you ask for it, but 99% of the time you don’t and he’s still throwing his two cents in.
  11. He wants to do everything himself. He’s such a know-it-all he thinks he can do and fix everything himself, despite the fact that he has no experience with something like say leaky pipes, but god forbid he would ever think about calling a plumber.
  12. He always has to drive. You know, so he can drive as fast as he wants, choose his preferred route, listen to his favorite station on the radio, and of course dictate when it’s time to leave.
  13. He’s super critical/judgy. Not just of you, but of everyone around him. He thinks there is only one right way to do something, and of course, it’s always his way.
  14. His expectations are way too highHe thinks that he’s perfect and therefore expects the same from those around him. If only he knew he’s not actually God’s gift…
  15. He can’t handle not knowing something. God forbid you know something that he doesn’t. He’s not capable of letting you keep a secret and will push and prod until you spill the beans, even if it has nothing to do with him personally and is of no real interest to him. Usually, once you tell him, he’s disappointed anyway.
  16. He’s very regimented. Spontaneity is not a word that’s in his vocabulary. Don’t ever try to surprise him or throw him off his regular schedule or there will definitely be hell to pay.
  17. He’s moody, clingy, and jealous. Not really the qualities anyone claims to be looking for on their dating profile. He’ll probably tell you you can’t break up with him, but do it anyway.
Rachael is an award winning stand-up comedienne, freelance writer, and BravoTV superfan. Her Real Housewives tagline is “The only thing bigger than my boobs are my personalities.” In her spare time, she keeps busy catering to the needs of a very spoiled Siberian Husky, (Paris Hilton), cleaning the skeletons out of her closet (to make room for more shoes), and swiping left to everyone on Tinder. Follow her on twitter @therealplandd.