17 Types Of Love Bombing Narcissists Use To Hook You In

17 Types Of Love Bombing Narcissists Use To Hook You In

Love bombing is a manipulation tactic narcissists use to make you fall for them so that you’re easier to control and manipulate. So, while you think the person’s excessive flattery and gifts are signs that they’re legit interested in you, they’re hiding toxic behavior. Here are some of the seemingly wonderful behaviors they use to try and get their hooks in you.

1. Buying you over-the-top gifts

Someone who’s love-bombing you wants to impress you, so they’ll buy you flowers, chocolates, jewelry and other gifts. They might even pull out the big guns and stage some grand gestures, such as filling your apartment with roses instead of buying you a bouquet.

2. Giving you loads of compliments

They’ll give you compliments and praise when they don’t even know you — that’s a red flag right there. Examples of compliments include, “You’re one in a million” or “You’re the most beautiful woman or most handsome man I’ve ever met.”

3. Texting throughout the day

They’re constantly firing your phone with texts throughout the day. They might explain this away in a “romantic” way, such as by saying that they’re addicted to you or can’t stop thinking about you, but it’s all about making you fall for them.

4. Talking about soulmates early on

couple having a romantic kiss on date night

You’ve hardly been on three dates with the person but they’re already talking about you being soulmates. Yikes. They might also make references to destiny or fate. It’s like you’re stepping into a rom-com… only it has a dark twist.

5. Pressing you to commit

When someone wants to love bomb you, they’re going to push you to commit to them. So, they’ll want to define the relationship early on and move quickly through different dating stages. It’s all about locking you down.

6. Being intense

couple about to kiss in sunshineiStock

Whether it’s their strong eye-contact game or how they can talk about how much like you for hours at a time, these people are intense. They want you to feel like you’re special and valued.

7. Walking all over your boundaries

Lovely heterosexual couple in a grass field walking and kissing

Since love bombing is a way for people to manipulate you, people who do it will steamroll over your boundaries. For example, if you say you can’t see them, they’ll show up at your house. If you tell them you’re busy at work, they’ll call.

8. Freaking you out with their level of attention

If you’re totally honest, you’ll feel overwhelmed by the person’s immense interest in you and how they shower you with so much attention. You might even feel a bit uneasy or scared, which is a huge red flag!

9. Checking in a lot

They want to contact you many times throughout the day to show you that they’re missing you. But, this can actually be a tactic to check in with you so that they can get away with monitoring you.

10. Talking about the future

Since they’re rushing the relationship along, they’ll talk about the future a lot. They might start sentences with, “When we get married” as though it’s a done deal that you’re on track to being serious.

11. Craving information about you

When they meet you, they’ll be in total awe of you, wanting to know every single thing about you. It’s flattering when they tell you this, sure, but it’s done to collect information that they can later use against you.

12. Wanting to dominate your time

From the first date, this person wants to be with you every second of the day. They want, and expect, all your spare time to go to them, instead of to the rest of your life, such as your friends and hobbies.

13. Sharing private information about themselves

Not only do they want to get tons of info about you, but the love bomber will quickly share secrets about themselves. They’ll dump all their issues at your feet or ask you for advice, which is a clever way for them to show you their so-called vulnerabilities so you open up to them.

14. Praising the relationship after a fight

When you’ve had an argument, a love bomber might quickly praise the relationship as a way to move on from the fight. They’ll tell you how much the relationship means to you to prevent you from walking away.

15. Being super ready to help

Whether it’s listening to you vent about some drama or helping you master how to bake a lemon meringue pie, narcissists who love bomb you will act like it’s no big deal to offer their assistance. They do this to hook you so you view them as being amazing. But be warned, they’ll expect you to give them something in return.

16. Making U-turns on big decisions

It’s a red flag when the person tells you that they never believed in marriage or having kids until they met you. Whenever someone you hardly know makes a massive u-turn on a life decision because they met you, they’re being intense and trying hard to impress you.

17. Guilt-tripping you

Narcissists love trying to guilt-trip you into doing what they want. They’ll do this with exaggerated emotions, such as by saying, “You’re the only person in the world who understands me” or “I can’t live without you.”

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Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.