20 Things I Will Never Put Up With From A Guy—And Neither Should You

I’m a reasonable woman but even I have my limits. I know my worth and I have a hard line when it comes to what I will and will not tolerate in life in general and relationships in particular. If a man does any of these 20 things, he’s officially killed his chances.

  1. Speaks down to me I’ll never stand for any treatment where I feel belittled and diminished. I am the equal of every other person on this planet and I refuse to speak condescendingly to anyone. I expect the same in return.
  2. Patronizes or speaks rudely to me It’s simply another way of treating me poorly and I won’t put up with it. I speak to the people in my life with respect and consideration for their feelings. It’s the least that anyone can do. I want that same respect.
  3. Shows a lack of respect Actions are just as meaningful as words even if sometimes they are easier to dismiss. I cannot stand it when a guy treats me as less than I deserve. It’s a surefire way to lose me quickly.
  4. Treats others poorly What does it matter if a guy treats me like a princess but craps on everyone else? I’m not down with that at all. I try to be as kind as possible to everyone and I only want someone who shares that philosophy. Life is too short to be selfish and awful.
  5. Talks crap about people in my life I might vent once in a while, but that doesn’t give the guy I’m seeing free rein to talk badly about the people I love. I’m fiercely loyal and I’ll defend them against any slander or mistreatment. I would never badmouth the people close to him.
  6. Refuses to get along with my friends I have very open, loving, accepting friends, so if a man can’t hang with them, he’s pretty damn lazy. I require a man who makes an effort and wants to be an active part of my life. If he rolls his eyes at the idea of us all hanging out, he can see himself right out the door.
  7. Acts lazy when it comes to maintaining the relationship Any relationship requires maintenance, even those with family and close friends. I won’t stay with a man who thinks that once he’s got me, all his work is done. I know that I can do better.
  8. Tries to mooch off me Luckily, I’ve never had this happen—I do try to pick decent, responsible guys. I work very hard for my money and for what I’ve got in my life, and I want a man who does the same. I have no respect for a guy who can’t take care of his bills and support himself.
  9. Takes advantage of my kindness I’m a loving person and I try to be as generous with my time and resources as possible. I like doing nice things and taking care of others. If, however, I notice that a man is taking my kindness for weakness, he’ll understand differently very quickly.
  10. Breaks my trust I can’t be in a relationship without trust. Once it’s gone, a man won’t get it back. That’s the way I am. There’s no time to waste on partners who aren’t trustworthy, so I’ll be moving on. I don’t believe in second chances in that area.
  11. Mistreats my pet I don’t know what kind of monster would do this, but there are bad people out there. I adore my pet and I would kick the ass of any guy who didn’t respect that. Even if he’s just teasing or messing with it, that’s unacceptable.
  12. Shows a lack of effort This one is tough because I encounter so many men who put in almost no effort that I’m beginning to question if I even deserve it. I don’t understand where the good guys are. I put in effort and I expect it back—I don’t think that’s so wrong!
  13. Behaves cruelly I won’t put up with cruel behavior towards anyone or anything. It’s a huge insight into someone’s true character and I don’t want to be around anyone like that. There’s never any call to be cruel—never. I won’t make excuses for a guy, but I will make sure that he’s not a part of my world anymore.
  14. Takes me for granted This is another huge problem and one I encounter with nearly everyone I date. I’m getting very frustrated by it at this point. Sooner or later, I feel like I’m just part of the furniture. Even if there was an initial effort, most guys stop making any pretty early on.
  15. Ignores my feelings This is a very fast way to lose my interest. Any decent relationship is built on trust, respect, and communication. Ignoring my feelings is a huge show of disrespect and kills any hope I have of making things work. It’s not possible.
  16. Forgets everything I tell him I have no patience for a guy who isn’t invested enough in me to listen when I speak. Nope. Next, please! I deserve better than this mental laziness and lack of care for my basic worth as a person who should be listened to and understood.
  17. Flirts with other women This should be a no-brainer, but it’s amazing how many ladies put up with that kind of crap from men. Not me. If he doesn’t have enough respect for me to refrain from getting his male ego stroked, then he can go be single and flirt with as many chicks as he wants.
  18. Treats me like a possession I’m a strong, independent, equal human being to any man I date. I’ll never put up with being told what I can and can’t do—not for one instant. This happens and I’m gone, no other interaction needed.
  19. Disrespects women This obviously goes for disrespecting me, but it extends to all women. I want to be with a firm and strong feminist and will not ever date a man who feels less strongly about equal rights. A guy who treats women poorly will get a good earful before I turn around and leave him in my dust.
  20. Shows any hint of discrimination towards other people I believe that we are all part of one race—the human race. Any man who feels differently has absolutely no place in my life. I can’t stand any type of discrimination towards anyone. It’s disgusting and pathetic.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.