25 Signs He’s A Player And You Need To Stay Away From Him

Dating would be so much simpler if guys were simply upfront about what they were looking for. Hoping to find your future wife? Great, good to know. Only prefer a hookup? Fair enough — thanks for the heads up. Can’t commit to monogamy and plan on screwing around with any woman who looks your way? Glad you’re upfront about it so that we can avoid you like the plague. Unfortunately, this kind of honesty is rarely ever a thing when you start seeing someone new, so you have to rely on trying to identify the signs the guy’s a player and that he’s going to break your heart.

Of course, that’s easier said than done. Spotting a player might sound simple enough — there are dead giveaways that are almost comically obvious — but some of the signs of their shady behavior are a little more subtle and harder to identify. Here are some of the biggest signs he’s not interested in committing to you or anyone else. If you notice them, run as far away as you can as fast as you can. Thank me later!

1. He’s always on his phone. If he’s constantly texting or answering calls and being secretive about it, he might be juggling multiple relationships. Of course, he could just be addicted to social media or something, but it’s also very possible that he’s talking to multiple other women and that you’re just one of many.
2. He’s super vague about his past. He dodges questions about past relationships or gives vague answers. When you ask about his ex-girlfriend or why they broke up, he gets super shifty and doesn’t seem to want to answer. You can never get a straight answer out of him and he definitely doesn’t offer up any details of his own accord.
3. He avoids talking about commitment. This is one of the biggest signs he’s a player. He changes the subject or becomes evasive when you bring up the future because he knows you don’t have one together. He has no plans on settling down and committing to one woman, so it’s not even worth pretending otherwise.
4. He’s only ever available last minute. If he rarely plans in advance and only wants to hang out spontaneously, he might be fitting you in around other dates. Sure, people get busy and in some situations, it might be hard for him to plan a date in advance. However, if he can literally only ever hang out with, like, an hour’s notice, it’s likely because he’s seeing a bunch of different women and doesn’t know when he’ll be free again.
5. His social media is full of people you can’t identify. This isn’t necessarily one of the biggest signs he’s a player, but it certainly points in that direction. His social media profiles have lots of pictures with different people, but there’s no clarity on who they are. If they were family members or close friends, you’d think they’d appear more than once. However, it seems like a random collection of people who mean nothing to him and whom he literally never talks about. Very odd…
6. He rarely (if ever) invites you over. If he’s reluctant to bring you to his place, he might be hiding something or someone. Even if he doesn’t live with someone else, he might be worried that you could leave something of your behind, which would raise questions with the other women he invites over on a regular basis. He certainly doesn’t want his cover blown!
7. He’s a little too charming, if you’re being honest. If he seems to have a rehearsed charm and uses the same lines on everyone, beware. This is one of the biggest signs a guy is a player — he’s aware of all the right words to say to win women over and he’s not afraid to use them. While a bit of charisma is attractive, too much is a major red flag.
8. He never talks about his friends or family.  A player often compartmentalizes his life to avoid complications. This means you won’t know much about his personal life or the people closest to him. He prefers to keep his romantic life completely separate. After all, you’ll never be his girlfriend, so he doesn’t see a reason to merge the two worlds.
9. He always wants to stay in. He avoids taking you out in public where he might run into someone he knows. If you call him out on this, he gives you a load of excuses like about how much he loves staying in and cuddling on the couch with you and how restaurants and bars are far too noisy and distracting. In reality, he’s terrified of seeing another one of this girls while he’s out and about with you. Awkward!
10. His friends are all players. Often, you can tell a lot about a person by the company they keep. While you shouldn’t necessarily tar him with the same brush, the signs are pointing to him being a player if the only people he’s hanging out with have a very blase approach to women. After all, he’s hardly going to go against the grain and stand up as Mr. Commitment when they’re egging him on to bed as many people as possible.
11. He’s freakishly protective of his phone. If he panics when you touch his phone, he might be hiding something. Same goes for if he takes it with him every time he gets up to leave the room or if he purposely leaves it face down at all times. God forbid you see a text message from another woman come in while you’re hanging out. Then the ruse would be up!
12. He doesn’t introduce you to his friends. You’re kept separate from his social circle. If he’s not talking about the people he’s close to, he’s certainly not going to introduce you. His social circle is made up of his ride-or-die bros who probably know all about what he’s up to. The chances of him ever bringing you around them is slim to none — not only would that be pretty uncomfortable for him, but he’d also probably worry that they’d out him to you as the player he is.
13. He tells you what you want to hear. He always seems to say the perfect thing, even if it contradicts something he said earlier. In addition to charm, he seems to know just how to assuage any fears or concerns you have by saying exactly the right thing. Sadly, his actions rarely ever back his words up, and you’ll only end up disappointed and heartbroken in the end.
14. He’s always talking about himself.  He doesn’t show genuine interest in getting to know you because he’s not, really. To him, you’re just another in a long line of women he’ll have his fun with before discarding to move on to the next. It’s a terrible feeling and a harsh truth, but it’s one worth owning up to sooner rather than later. He’d rather talk about himself the whole time.
15. There are rumors going around about him/he has a bad reputation. This is one of the most glaring signs he’s a player. If multiple people warn you about his history, there might be some truth to it. Don’t write it off as other women being jealous or having an axe to grind — chances are, they were in your position once and know first-hand what you’re about to experience.
16. His relationship status is always “complicated.” If he can’t define his relationship status clearly, it’s a red flag. Sure, sometimes things are a bit murky in the beginning, but there comes a point when you know where you stand with someone and what you want out of the relationship. If he never gets past that wishy-washy, uncertain stage, it’s likely on purpose. He knows what he wants (or rather what he doesn’t), he just doesn’t want to admit it.
17. It’s often impossible to reach him. There are long periods when he goes MIA without any explanations. When he comes back, he acts like it’s totally normal. He probably also dodges questions on what he’s been up to in the time since you last spoke. That’s because he’s been entertaining other women and obviously can’t tell you that.
18. He’s on multiple dating apps. If he’s constantly swiping, even after you’ve started seeing each other, he might not be ready to settle down. Players like to widen the net, so to speak, so they have the greatest chance of meeting a variety of women. This way, they can cycle through them without ever running out of options. If he claims he’s deleted his profile on the app you met on but you later discover he’s still active on another, get out ASAP.
19. He avoids PDA at all costs. He avoids showing any public affection, fearing someone else might see. After all, what if you guys were holding hands while out at the club and the girl he’s usually with on Sunday nights sees you? His game would be up and he’s not about to deal with drama.
20. You have a gut feeling about him. Always trust your intuition. If something feels off, it probably is. While you can’t ignore the signs he’s a player, even if you don’t notice many of them, if your gut is telling you that something’s not right, that means it’s probably not. Plus, if you’re always going to doubt him, you’ll never be able to trust him. That’s not the basis of any healthy relationship.
21. He’s always canceling last minute. He often bails on plans last minute with a variety of excuses. Oddly enough, however, most of them don’t make much sense. When you call him out on it, he’s always profusely apologetic and swears that he’ll make it up to you, but that occasion never comes. You’re always left in the lurch and feeling like the last choice.
22. He rarely stays overnight. If he rarely or never spends the night, he might be avoiding getting too close. While this isn’t necessarily just one of the signs he’s a player — it could be that he’s just a commitmentphobe — it could very well mean that he’s avoiding attachment and staying over because he has other women to see and can’t be spending all his time with you.
23. He has a history of short-term relationships. If he’s never had a long-term relationship, he might not be looking for one now. By the time you reach your mid-20s or a bit older, it’s a bit of a red flag if a guy says all of his relationships have lasted only a couple of months or less. What is is about him that makes him incompatible with long-term partnerships? You have to wonder…
24. He never opens up to you. He remains superficial and avoids deep or emotional conversations because he’s not looking for that. He figures you guys should just have your fun while you can and let this thing run its course. Eventually, he knows you’ll get sick of his evasiveness and kick him to the curb, so he’ll just enjoy it while it lasts and keep his distance.
25. No one in his life knows you exist. Not only is he not talking to you about them, they certainly know nothing about you. If he never talks about you to his friends or on social media, you might not be a significant part of his life. It also signifies that he can’t parade you about because then the other women he’s seeing would notice. Do yourself a favor and get out ASAP.