7 Excuses I Won’t Accept From A Commitment-Phobe

7 Excuses I Won’t Accept From A Commitment-Phobe ©iStock/nd3000

Can’t commit to me? Then I hope you’re at least prepared to break up. Commitment-phobia is just plain BS and jerk guys use it as a poor excuse to reap all the benefits without any of the work. I’m not about to get played and that’s why I’m not accepting these excuses men use:

  1. “I’m just not ready.” In fact, you don’t know when you will be or even IF you ever will be. Do you expect me just to wait around forever? You can’t give me a timeline, and I can’t let you waste my time, so where does that leave us? You’re “not ready” and you may just be right about that, because a real man would be ready to accept my love.
  2. “I don’t want to get hurt again.” We’ve all been hurt before, and we both know that avoiding labels won’t keep your heart from breaking again. Do you really think that keeping me at bay is going to prevent you from getting hurt? Relationships end and that sucks, but that’s no reason not to try again.
  3. “I like things just the way they are.” If we’re good now, then why would moving forward hurt our relationship? You say don’t mess with a good thing, but I say unless we move forward we’ll just be stuck in this rut. I’m not going to lie — relationships are hard. It won’t always be pretty, but if we don’t try, then all I know is that to you, I wasn’t worth the effort.
  4. “I’m just not sure about us.” Well how long will it take for you to be sure? Because the longer you’re unsure, the more time I waste on you. If you’re not sure you want something more, then why are you keeping me around? Are you waiting for something or someone better to come along? Stupid move…
  5. “I want to take things slow.” Any slower and we’d be moving backwards. Slow is one thing, but is there a next step in sight? I get that you want to take your time to get to know me before we jump ship, but let’s be reasonable. I can’t keep waiting around counting baby steps until you’re ready to commit. I want to know we’re moving forward or I want to find someone else with a little more respect for my time.
  6. “I just don’t know what I want.” If you don’t know if you want me, then I’ll give you a hint: you don’t, so I’m not going to wait around for you to figure it out and break my heart even harder. It’s been months of me being a regular part of your daily life, so shouldn’t you know by now? I know what I want, so why don’t you?
  7. “I’m just super busy right now.” So you’re saying you’re so busy that you can’t find time for your personal life? That’s not healthy. If you’re too busy to commit to me, then maybe I’m too busy to waste my time waiting around for you. We both have lives, but I make time to see you. I make time for us because you’re important to me, so if you’re not willing to do the same, then forget about commitment because I’m forgetting about this “relationship” altogether.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.