Sometimes it seems like we have to have multiple personalities or versions of ourselves that we present at various times, masks that we put on in order to avoid being labeled weak or “crazy.” It’s unfair, but it happens. There are a few common scenarios in which women find ourselves putting on a “mask” to conceal our true feelings:
- We pretend we’re over someone when we’re not. After a breakup, it can be tough to deal with the aftermath. We don’t want anyone to see us as weak, especially the ex in question, so we quietly push down our feelings and pretend we’re over him, even though it kills us inside.
- We put on our brave face when we have to accomplish something intimidating. Whether it’s a big presentation or a household project we’ve never tried before, we feel like we need to pretend it’s not as daunting as it really is in order to avoid appearing weak.
- We play it cool when he finally calls/texts and we’ve been waiting. We all know that we have the right to be happy when something goes our way, but we’ve also been through the wringer already with guys calling us crazy just for expressing our true feelings. As hard as it is, we try to push our happiness down and act aloof/indifferent when we finally get that call/text.
- We pretend we just want to be friends when we’re unsure of what he wants. We’ve all been there; after meeting someone and getting to know him, we realize we’re starting to like him but we don’t know if he feels the same way. We’re afraid of being judged or rejected, so we tell ourselves it’s just a friendship and push our feelings down into the abyss.
- We let it slide when someone disrespects us, even though we’re furious. We don’t want to fall into the stereotype of being a typical overemotional woman, so we push the anger down and pretend it doesn’t bother us even though we’re raging inside.
- We put on our best happy face at work, even if we’re not happy. We know that it’s a privilege to be a part of the business world, but that doesn’t mean every position is a good fit. When we’re struggling with our careers, we feel like we have to put on that happy face and pretend it doesn’t bother us because we want to be seen as tough and dependable, not weak and emotional.
- We pretend we’re OK with keeping it casual when we really want a commitment. When we meet someone promising and start spending more time together, we feel pressured to accept any little crumbs of a relationship he offers, even if we’re really looking for an actual commitment. We don’t want to lose him completely, so we end up stuck in limbo, afraid to ask for what we really want lest we be labeled “crazy.”
