8 Reasons Men Are Scared Of Independent Women (& Why You Should Be Proud Of That)

In many aspects of life, independent women have it made. We’re strong enough to face any challenge head-on and we never have to worry about our needs going unmet because we simply won’t allow that to happen. Being a boss feels wonderfully empowering in almost every way, but the biggest challenge that tends to come our way is finding true love. Men are accustomed to being the strong ones in a relationship, but it’s time for that to change. Here’s why independent women are so intimidating to so many guys.

  1. Alpha men don’t know how to handle women on their level. In other words, they may feel threatened and become hostile, or they may just be so intimidated that he stops talking to you. What’s up with that? It seems like men should, in theory, relate more naturally to strong women because of the similarities they share with us. Unfortunately, this is rarely the case. Instead, they become combative and completely lose their s–t. It’s hard to believe this is still happening in 2022, but here we are.
  2. We don’t need a man. Independent women don’t need a man to provide for them, and men are used to being needed as providers. When they meet a woman who put herself through college, makes her own money, pays her own bills, and smashes her own random apartment spiders, they sometimes take it the wrong way and feel emasculated. In reality, they should be glad if we want their company, because it’s truly a matter of wanting him around rather than needing a favor from him. Guys, do you really want to be with someone who’s just using you as a personal ATM/spider exterminator?
  3. We already have full lives that we love. Independent women don’t sit around twiddling their thumbs and waiting for a man to call and make plans for that night. We have careers, side jobs, hobbies, and girls’ nights already on our calendars. Even if our plan is just to order a pizza and watch Netflix, it’s going to be the best night ever. If you want to make plans with us, you need to do so in advance or you’ll be waitlisted.
  4. We expect intelligent conversation. Independent women live every day on top of the world, aspiring to be the best that we can possibly be. We read, watch the news, and pay attention to current events. If you have no meaningful contribution to the conversation at hand, or you constantly attempt to change the topic to sex, you will lose all credibility as well as any chance you ever had. If you ever want to touch a boss bitch’s body, you must stimulate her mind first.
  5. We’re experts at getting ourselves off. Independent women tend to end up single a lot, and it’s usually by choice. Therefore, we become masturbation experts. If you’re lucky enough to get into our bed and not only fail to get us off but don’t even try to find our magic buttons, don’t plan on ever seeing us again. Sex comes with risks, and those risks are only worthwhile if you make it worth our while by at least putting in some serious effort into making us feel good (yes, we do give bonus points for effort).
  1. We already have a five-, 10-, and 15-year plan for our lives. Independent women tend to plan out each stage of life meticulously, and this plan is amenable to having a partner or not. Therefore, it’s up to you to pass the audition if you want to be a part of her our plan. If we see you as a detractor or hindrance to our life goals, you’re going to be sidelined quickly. No independent woman has time for that.
  2. We’re sexy and we know it. Independent women are sexy because we’re confident. Even if we don’t have perfect bodies and flawless skin, we carry ourselves with pride and that naturally attracts attention. When you whistle at the confident woman walking down the street, she does hear you, but she shrugs it off because she already knows how awesome she is. If you really want our attention, you’ll have to try harder.
  3. We have options. Independent women have options. There are guys from our past or present who think they can handle us, but we didn’t feel a strong enough vibe to jump right in. We have friends from high school or college that keep in touch on social media, guys we met at the bar or sushi night, and of course old flames who realize exactly what they’ve lost. Plus, we get attention basically every time we go out. If you become petty and jealous every time another man speaks to us, we’re not going to dump everyone else; we’re going to dump you.
  4. We really don’t give a damn what anyone thinks of us. Independent women own everything that we are, and that’s rare to find in a world that tends to obsess over the opinions of others. If you don’t approve of our hairstyle, outfit, lunch choice, or general outlook on life, we give exactly zero f–ks about your opinion and will do whatever we please. You have two options: accept us as we are or step aside so we can see who’s next in line.

A man who’s strong enough to be with you will be able to handle everything you are. As for guys, you should consider the upsides to dating and loving independent women. We won’t be a burden on you, but rather an asset, and we’ll always encourage you to continue having your own social life outside of us (because we want the exact same thing).

Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible.