You smile, make eye contact, and try to flirt. What happens? Nothing. He seemed interested, but now he’s looking the other way. The problem could be that he’s kinda scared of you. It’s not your fault. Some guys just can’t handle a strong, independent woman. If you notice any of these signs men are intimidated by you, it’ll probably be up to you to make the first move. If nothing else, be flattered that the guys think you’re too good for them. If you notice these signs, it’s clear men are intimidated by you. Oh well!
- Guys flirt but never ask you out. It’s a classic, yet confusing sign. Why bother flirting with you if they don’t have the balls to ask you out? I know, I don’t get it either. I guess when they find out you’re confident, have a career, and aren’t going to take any BS, they feel a little intimidated.
- They seem overly nervous. This is one of the biggest signs that men are intimidated by you. Nerves are nothing new. We all feel a little nervous approaching someone we’re interested in. When a guy seems way too nervous, he’s feeling intimidated. It’s kind of like a little kid hoping their parents don’t realize they’re lying about who really broke the lamp.
- They smile but don’t approach. Sharing a few smiles across a crowded room is usually a good sign a guy is interested. As much as he might want to approach you, he’s put off by your confidence. It’s in the way you hold yourself and interact with those around you. He simply thinks you’re way out of his league.
- They don’t look you in the eye. A brave guy might still try to talk to you. The problem is, he doesn’t want you to know how afraid he is. He avoids making any real eye contact. It’s actually kind of cute. It’s like a shy puppy trying to get attention. They both want to be petted but let’s face it, puppies are cuter.
- They act awkwardly around you. I know, it’s hard to tell sometimes whether a guy’s acting awkward or he’s just that kind of strange. Men who are intimidated by you might talk too loudly, stiffen their stance, push out their chest, fidget more than usual, and just generally seem awkward and uncomfortable talking to you. All of these are ways for them to deal with feeling a little inferior to the hot girl they’ve approached.
- They suddenly make an excuse to leave. Did you just tell him about getting promoted at work? Or maybe you tried for intelligent conversation? Odds are, an intimidated man suddenly comes up with an excuse to leave. His ego’s been hurt somehow and now he has to go lick his wounds.
- They’re insulted easily. No matter what you say to the guy, he takes it as an insult. Why? He’s intimidated and thinks you’re constantly judging him. He gets defensive and generally acts like an ass. If his ego’s that fragile, do you even want to deal with him to begin with?
- They remark on how impressive you are. Maybe you share the fact that you’ve got a killer career or that you’ve achieved something incredible despite being young. Their response is something about how impressive it is or how they feel inferior in comparison. This isn’t about you – it’s about them.
- They act jealous. Snide comments about whatever you happen to say is a sure sign he’s feeling intimidated. At this point, he’s just trying to downgrade how awesome you are. They’re jealous and just wish they could be you. It’s petty and stupid, but some guys think this makes them look better.
- They suddenly seem competitive. Do you suddenly feel like the exchange has turned into an escalating tennis match? You talk about a cool trip you took last weekend and he has to share one that’s even better. He has to come up with something more impressive than anything you have to say. He thinks it’ll make him seem like your equal or better. You just know he’s probably lying.
- They can’t talk to you. You know that little voice in the back of your mind that’s constantly analyzing every moment when you start flirting with a guy? Guys go through it too. Except when they feel intimidated, the little voice is so loud they can’t maintain a conversation. They get distracted trying to figure out how to respond or how to make themselves seem good enough in your eyes.
- They rarely talk about themselves. A better man takes the approach of simply not talking about himself much. He’s intimidated and doesn’t want to look bad to you. Instead, he tries to learn more about you and find some common ground. It’s definitely a better way to deal and much more likely to make you like him.
- They brag to overcompensate. You don’t remember asking how much money he makes, but suddenly he’s telling you. Did you really need to know how many orgasms he gave his last hookup? No. But, you know that now too. While some guys just like to brag, intimidation seems to make them run off at the mouth uncontrollably. Laugh and walk away.
- They try to intimidate you. How dare you look amazing, act confident and be successful? You’re obviously intimidating men on purpose. At least that’s why he thinks. His solution is to try to intimidate you. This is probably one of the funniest signs. Go ahead, have fun with him. He’ll eventually embarrass the hell out of himself and his friends won’t let him live it down.
Why you shouldn’t care if a guy is intimidated by you
- There are guys out there who will appreciate your strengths. When you dream of your ideal relationship, I bet it’s not with a guy who feels emasculated by your success, confidence, intelligence, or anything else. Why should you settle for a dude who doesn’t have enough self-assurance to not only feel good about himself and his own life but also to be your biggest cheerleader as well as your equal? You know the signs that men are intimidated by you, so if you spot any with someone you’re dating, head for the hills.
- You’ve worked hard to get to where you are and should be proud of it. You didn’t just become this incredible woman with so much to offer the world and a potential partner. You worked hard to pursue your passions, advance your career, love yourself, and feel good in your own skin. Why should you have to play that down because men are intimidated by you? You really shouldn’t.
- If he’s intimidated, he’s clearly insecure. Again, all the signs that men are intimidated by you point one core issue: lack of confidence. Either toxic masculinity has gone to his head and he truly believes that men need to be the breadwinners, overachievers, and providers in every relationship or he simply worries that he’s not on your level and he’s not happy with where he is in his life. That’s not your problem to solve.
- The exact qualities that make you “intimidating” are celebrated in men. Ever notice how women are “bossy” when men are considered “ambitious” for the exact same behavior? You’re “bitchy” when men are “direct.” You’re “overbearing” when men are “perfectionists.” You get the point and it’s infuriating. The longer we perpetuate this narrative, the longer it will be allowed to exist. Never be ashamed of all the traits that make you who you are and never apologize for them. You’re incredible just as you are.
- Life is too short to worry about things you can’t change. If you know for a fact that you’re a kind, caring human being who treats everyone you meet with courtesy and respect, then why on earth should you stress because a guy (or men in general) find you intimidating? Life is too short to spend it trying to be everyone else’s idea of perfection. It’s all about loving the life you’ve created for yourself and making the most of it. If a guy can’t hang, that’s his loss.
One more thing to consider
There’s always the possibility that you’re purposely coming off as intimidating. Generally speaking, women take this approach because we’ve been hurt previously and we use this exterior armor as a way to send the message that we’re tough. We think that keeping men at a distance is the best way to protect ourselves from being screwed over, and while that might be true, it also guarantees a pretty lonely existence.
If you recognize patterns in your behavior that are harmful and need addressing, it may be time to realize that while shedding that tough exterior means being vulnerable and open to hurt. However, it also means that we’re open to receiving love and companionship from someone who is our equal. Only you know whether or not this applies to your life, and there’s no shame if it does. You’re a smart woman and will know the right way to move forward.
Vlogger Breeny Lee has some real talk about the topic – check it out below.