8 Things You Should Never Take Personally, Because They’re Not About You

You’re going to encounter rejection in life whether you like or not. Technically, being dumped, fired, or any other situation in which you’re pushed to the side is a kind of rejection, it doesn’t necessarily need to be processed like one. Here are some things that feel like rejection that actually aren’t:

Having a lot of failed first dates. Of course it feels like rejection when guys aren’t interested in going on a second date with you, but dating is a numbers game, and they can’t all possibly be your match. Assume those guys did you a favor by never calling.

Coming to the end of a show on Netflix. Or a book, film, or even when a beloved restaurant closes. It’s not that you actually think these characters are your friends or anything, but it does feel pretty friendly to know they exist.

Not getting a job. If a potential boss looks right at you and tells you that you’re terrible, then yes, that might feel like rejection. Most of the time, there are multiple people who are qualified to do a job and the deciding factor is so minor that’s not something you could have changed, anyway.

Not being able to find a parking spot. The world isn’t conspiring against you when you can’t find a parking spot. In fact, the people parked in those spots aren’t thinking about you or anyone else driving around at all. They briefly felt successful for landing a spot, and then they continued on their way.

Receiving constructive criticism. Getting a critique is not the same as being rejected. It can feel like it, but if we let that happen and show we can seem pretty defensive. A critique is nothing more than a suggestion about how we could make something better. That doesn’t mean it was crap to begin with, so don’t take it that way.

Not getting closure. If a relationship ends without closure, it can feel a lot like an unfair rejection. The thing to keep in mind is that when a guy doesn’t want to communicate, that’s his problem, not yours. If you’re in a place where you’re open to fair communication, then you deserve to be around people who will offer the same.

Not being someone’s type. When people have a really specific type, it also means that there are a ton of other people who are not their type. If you’re not one person’s ideal type, then you’re certainly someone else’s. Chill out.

Hearing the word “no.” Obviously at its root, “no” is a great example of rejection, but it doesn’t mean that you have to take it to heart. You can still get back up again and try somewhere else. It might be the end of the road at one spot, but lead to something better.

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