Dating is hard enough, but once you’re in an actual relationship, things get even more complicated. Things are the diciest between you and a new partner around the 3-month mark, and many relationships don’t make it past this point. If you find this happening to you again and again, here’s what might be going on.
- High expectations are limiting your relationship success. It’s important to have high standards about how you’re treated in a relationship, but when your expectations are so high that you’re expecting the person you’re dating to satisfy all of your needs, you can unknowingly create an unbalanced relationship that’s difficult to maintain. Not only that, but this attitude signifies you might not be ready for a relationship at all. When you’re self-sufficient and see your relationship as a bonus rather than a necessity, that’s when you have the best chance.
- You can’t get the past small talk. If you can’t get deep in the early stages of your relationship, the chances are high that you won’t last very long. Communication is the glue to every relationship and friendship. Without progressive communication, it’s difficult to form a bond. You need a bond with the person you are dating to be able to have a happy, healthy long-term relationship. If you notice this early enough, you’ll find it easier to transition things to a much deeper and genuine level.
- You start to notice their flaws. During the first three months, couples struggle to keep up the personas they created to impress one another. According to Psychology Today, new couples purposely hide past behaviors that negatively affected their past relationships. Eventually, however, they begin to reveal their true selves. The problem with this situation is you end up not liking this version of your partner. You start to think they’ve changed when they’re just being themselves. You can choose to love them despite their flaws or leave because you can’t bear to deal with them.
- You have sexual chemistry without a friendship. If your relationship is solely based on attraction and sexual energy and it’s been that way for a few months, there’s nowhere left to go. It can be very difficult to build a strong connection with that person when the foundation of that relationship is only built on sexual chemistry. That sexual energy can die out quickly if you don’t have a genuine connection with the person you’re with. To have a relationship that can go for the long haul, you need to find balance. You want someone that feels like a best friend but also they need to be someone you are attracted to.
- Not being able to be yourself is a red flag. If you’re uncomfortable with being yourself, your relationship will have a short life. It’s a red flag if the person you are dating doesn’t make you feel secure enough to embrace your authentic self. Naturally, you’ll want to be with someone who accepts you for exactly who you are and doesn’t make you feel like you have to hide yourself. If you’re in a situation where you have to pretend to be someone you’re not, you might as well leave now.
- You’re experiencing relationship burnout. At the beginning of any new relationship, you enter the honeymoon stage. If you go full speed ahead without pacing yourself, your relationship could be in danger of burnout. When you rush into a relationship, you can feel emotionally drained and you’re way more likely to experience conflict. When this happens, it’s common to think the relationship isn’t worth it because you’re experiencing a load of problems in a short space of time.
- You realize it’s not love, only lust. Couples start reflecting on their relationship around three months in to figure out where things are going. This is because it’s about the time when you should know how you really feel about your partner. When you realize it’s lust and there’s no deep emotional connection there, it’s only natural to just end the relationship. A relationship cannot progress without love. It’s best not to waste your time and just walk away.
- You’re not ready for a long-term relationship. Sometimes your relationships end after the first three months because you just don’t want a relationship. You might think you’re ready for love when really you’re subconsciously afraid of it. When people are afraid of love, it’s a common pattern to sabotage the relationship to stop it from progressing. To get over this hurdle, it’s important to not let past traumas get in the way of your happiness and realize you are worthy of love.